Life is what you make of it - agree or disagree

[gazelle]

your parable is a tad simplistic to say the least , not everyone while out on thier car journey starts with a car which has several bangs on it , some peoples cars had owners which took better care of the car than others , some drivers dont come across wreckless dangerous drivers while on the road , thier path is relativley smooth and uneventfull

Yeah but when both of the drivers reach the destination, eventually it's going to be the one who endured more hardships that's going to be be considered the "champion" and at the same time be the one that was given more opportunities to learn from, not the one who had a smooth path,no problems and a better cared car.
Thus the driver that had more obstacles along his way was also given more opportunities to learn from and a chance to eventually be considered the champion.

 

[irish_bob]

Well I totally agree here and that is what I was trying to say.

Life is pretty simple. People do make their life more complicated because they choose too. If things happen it happens, move on (depending on the situation). Don't let it get to you. Try again or take another path. Don't give up.

Life can be fair and unfair. If everything was so fair to people, we wouldn't learn. If you try hard , sometimes it might happen. Nothing can just be given to you on a silver plate.

I don't believe that looks can get you ahead in life. I mean of course if your a actor, well yeah. But average people that want to succeed in life go out and try to succeed. Some people are born into money, some people have better education, some people get born good looking, some people get raised successfully, some people get raised socially, some people are confident, some people just have it all. That is not unfair. When you reach your adult years, you can't blame your life for the way its worked out. You can't blame society for the way your life has worked out either. Yes some people have had no control when someone has been raped, been in a car accident, been raised in an abusive family etc, that is hard to deal with and it can wreck you, and with good support you can get back up in time, those are things that are out of your control but you can control your everyday actions in life. Your an adult and you make the choices even if it does fail, you get back up and start again and of course everyone needs the support and help along the way, but sometimes you just have to do it on your own.

the only thing everyone shares in common is birth and death , some people have it much easier than others and thier some things you cannot learn from , some experiences are wholey negative and cannot but change you and not for the better

 

[irish_bob]

What about if there were two different people from different cultures or different nationalities and the hiring manager has a problem with one of them based merely on their country of origin... they have the same experience, the same qualifications - who is he going to hire?

The reason we have anti discriminatory rules in place is for reasons like this.... not that anyone can prove it.

I dont think people who have an advantage in life should be reprimanded for their good fortune... that is not fair, and that is not what I am saying. I am saying that there needs to be an equillibrium and an awareness of how things are. The whole point is that everybody should have equal opportunities and everybody deserves a chance.... and sometimes things go wrong and they stay wrong... no matter how hard you try.

What is so wrong with that?

Anyway... I guess, with respect... we will just have to agree to disagree. Apologies if this thread may have offended anybody.

ive been to NZ , you have some of the most shockingly poor managment and work enviroments ive ever witnessed

 

[irish_bob]

Yeah but when both of the drivers reach the destination, eventually it's going to be the one who endured more hardships that's going to be be considered the "champion" and at the same time be the one that was given more opportunities to learn from, not the one who had a smooth path,no problems and a better cared car.
Thus the driver that had more obstacles along his way was also given more opportunities to learn from and a chance to eventually be considered the champion.

for every ten drivers who face a road full of bumps and corners , eight of them will falter , this idea that the harder the going , the bigger the outcome , thats pure hollywood fantasy , if that rung true , parents would see benefit in dragging up thier kids

 

[fitftw]

Having kids is for the rich or self-less. Not for me. I enjoy my time sleeping at night, not living FOR my kids. Not to mention the THOUSANDS of dollars I'd "save" by not having kids. Too bad I'm still going to be poor most likely.

 

[Invisibleman]

for every ten drivers who face a road full of bumps and corners , eight of them will falter , this idea that the harder the going , the bigger the outcome , thats pure hollywood fantasy , if that rung true , parents would see benefit in dragging up thier kids

If it were true we would all have Ethiopian CEOS and bankers.

 

[irish_bob]

If it were true we would all have Ethiopian CEOS and bankers.

+1 , its a sly tactic by the priveledged to keep things as they are , if the less well off dont succeed, the wealthy can brand them quiters , losers and weak , thats not to say some people wont make it against big odds but great success stories from a poverty stricken backround are a great rarity

 

[irrational]

I think YOUR (our) life is what you make of it. The biggest thing is to look inward and not around us. Sure, I'm no rock star, famous athlete or independently wealthy. My family is awesome, loves me no matter what and my job provides for everything we need and some of what we want. **** everything else I can't control. Sure, I feel like **** a lot lately, GAD sucks when halfway to your destination you have to turn around and go home, going to the ER when nothing physically is wrong isn't cool, etc. etc. but bigger picture, my life is pretty awesome thanks to no one but me and my family. No need looking at anything else when measuring it as a success.

 

[sullyS25]

I think YOUR (our) life is what you make of it. The biggest thing is to look inward and not around us. Sure, I'm no rock star, famous athlete or independently wealthy. My family is awesome, loves me no matter what and my job provides for everything we need and some of what we want. **** everything else I can't control. Sure, I feel like **** a lot lately, GAD sucks when halfway to your destination you have to turn around and go home, going to the ER when nothing physically is wrong isn't cool, etc. etc. but bigger picture, my life is pretty awesome thanks to no one but me and my family. No need looking at anything else when measuring it as a success.

Exactly, comparing how I feel inside to how others look and portray themselves on the outside will always result in me feeling bad about myself. Comparing myself to anyone will always make me feel bad. What is the best is to look inward and forget the rest....I can't control it so why complain about it....I can control myself.

 

[coyote]

...If everybody merely accepted everything the way it was....

but you see, that's just it - you're looking at it upside down

by taking control of your own life and making the most of adversity you're NOT just accepting it - you're doing something about it

the people who think that nothing can be done - the ones with the "poor me" victim mentality - they are the ones who are just accepting it

sure, they're complaining, but that's not really doing anything - they remain stuck in the same spot as long as they continue to see themselves as victims

the very notion that something CAN be done about the injustice in the world means that you think you do have the power to overcome it (i.e., life is what you make of it) and are not just another victim

we agree more than you think

 

[hidwell]

Life is full of challenges, and most of us tend to put unrealistic expectations on ourselves.
And set ourselves up for disappointment, life is different for everyone of us and we should learn to accept our limitations.That is not to say we should not try new things, for we all need to step outside of our comfort zone now and again. But there is a limit to, and we should be mindful of our vulnerabilities, so we don't get in over our heads. Life is not easy for many of us but we can all enjoy life for what it is, a once in a lifetime opportunity to be who we are.

 

[fitftw]

life is what passes you by when you're busy trying to make something of it.

 

[Kiwong]

You can make something out of life, things can change for the better, sometimes unexpectedly. In my experience out of necessity. If you are forced to work hard for something, to find answers, in my case to walk without pain, then it can lead to a result beyond your dreams.

 

[irish_bob]

You can make something out of life, things can change for the better, sometimes unexpectedly. In my experience out of necessity. If you are forced to work hard for something, to find answers, in my case to walk without pain, then it can lead to a result beyond your dreams.

you can keep the faith , stay strong through turmoil and things can still turn sour for you , some people get a disproportionate amount of unlucky breaks and its eventually breaks them , doesnt have to kill them but they are never the same again and loose thier zest , some people cannot settle for second best , all or nothing people often have two choices , suicide or wait to die

 

[irish_bob]

You can make something out of life, things can change for the better, sometimes unexpectedly. In my experience out of necessity. If you are forced to work hard for something, to find answers, in my case to walk without pain, then it can lead to a result beyond your dreams.

you can keep the faith , stay strong through turmoil and things can still turn sour for you , some people get a disproportionate amount of unlucky breaks and its eventually breaks them , doesnt have to kill them but they are never the same again and loose thier zest , some people cannot settle for second best , all or nothing people often have two choices , suicide or wait to die

 

[Kiwong]

you can keep the faith , stay strong through turmoil and things can still turn sour for you , some people get a disproportionate amount of unlucky breaks and its eventually breaks them , doesnt have to kill them but they are never the same again and loose thier zest , some people cannot settle for second best , all or nothing people often have two choices , suicide or wait to die

Sometimes the unlucky breaks themselves can be the catalyst for change for the better. No guarantee of success, but that can be the result if you are forced to fight out of necessity. I thought I was dieing, I was in pain everyday, it was a wake up call, I was scared ****less, so I decided to fight, and I won. Never I dreamed I would win.

 

[irish_bob]

Sometimes the unlucky breaks themselves can be the catalyst for change for the better. No guarantee of success, but that can be the result if you are forced to fight out of necessity. I thought I was dieing, I was in pain everyday, it was a wake up call, I was scared ****less, so I decided to fight, and I won. Never I dreamed I would win.

unlucky break is a catilyst for change for the better , an oxy moron if ever i heard one

 

[lurknomore]

unlucky break is a catilyst for change for the better , an oxy moron if ever i heard one

It's certainly not an oxymoron- I would argue that unlucky breaks are likely the most common catalysts for change for the better- even if just for a change in perspective.

 

[twiggle]

you can keep the faith , stay strong through turmoil and things can still turn sour for you , some people get a disproportionate amount of unlucky breaks and its eventually breaks them , doesnt have to kill them but they are never the same again and loose thier zest , some people cannot settle for second best , all or nothing people often have two choices , suicide or wait to die

But how would not trying to turn things round at all be any better?

 

[coyote]

But how would not trying to turn things round at all be any better?

this is waht i can't understand either

my guess perhaps that in order to deal with and/or overcome the adversity we face, we must first accept that it is there

and many victims do not want to do that

these events SHOULDN'T HAVE happened to them

they can't accept that they have occurred - even as they continue to relive them and complain about them

just beceause we accept that something has happened doesn't mean we have to condone it

but we can't steer around the obstacles if we can't see them, especially if we choose to wear a blindfold