Life is what you make of it - agree or disagree

[KiaKaha]

I just think sometimes people need a hand up. Sometimes the weak cant help themselves and they need someone who is in a stronger position to speak for them. - if you have no standing or financial backing things are harder to make a change. Something peculiar I have noticed lately is that there is very much a 'blame the victim' mentality for people who have been given a bum deal. - but I guess that all depends on how much the 'victim' wants - but is there not a basic standard of living and opportunity that all people are entitled too which is not given to them? - people who are unnoticed, forgotten or deemed to weak to be taken notice of seem to be left out - and thats because 'survival of the fittest' seems to be what people believe these days - I dont know I could be wrong... its just something I feel.

Just my thoughts.

 

[irish_bob]

But how would not trying to turn things round at all be any better?

when thier comes a point where bad luck has broke your spirit and changed your psychology profoundly , even you become successfull in a materialistic sense , your not the same as you used to be , i myself am reasonabley successfull financially but i consider myself impoverished due to the psychological effects of my past

 

[irish_bob]

I just think sometimes people need a hand up. Sometimes the weak cant help themselves and they need someone who is in a stronger position to speak for them. - if you have no standing or financial backing things are harder to make a change. Something peculiar I have noticed lately is that there is very much a 'blame the victim' mentality for people who have been given a bum deal. - but I guess that all depends on how much the 'victim' wants - but is there not a basic standard of living and opportunity that all people are entitled too which is not given to them? - people who are unnoticed, forgotten or deemed to weak to be taken notice of seem to be left out - and thats because 'survival of the fittest' seems to be what people believe these days - I dont know I could be wrong... its just something I feel.

Just my thoughts.

the phenomenon of victim blaming has become almost the norm at this stage

 

[irish_bob]

It's certainly not an oxymoron- I would argue that unlucky breaks are likely the most common catalysts for change for the better- even if just for a change in perspective.

thats the whole hollywood arguement about how only through struggle and adversity will people become the best they can be , that is sometimes the case but if it were the rule and not the exception , parents would beat thier children and abuse them while growing up so they could then rise above all this strife and become supermen and women

 

[irrational]

thats the whole hollywood arguement about how only through struggle and adversity will people become the best they can be , that is sometimes the case but if it were the rule and not the exception , parents would beat thier children and abuse them while growing up so they could then rise above all this strife and become supermen and women

I think you need to read that along the same lines as 'you don't know what you have until it's gone'. A lot of us would give our pinky for a day without worry I imagine, I doubt that most 'normal' people would ever consider doing so.

We don't become better people, we are who we are, but given certain opportunities I do think we learn to view things from a different angle.

 

[coyote]

I just think sometimes people need a hand up. Sometimes the weak cant help themselves and they need someone who is in a stronger position to speak for them. - if you have no standing or financial backing things are harder to make a change. Something peculiar I have noticed lately is that there is very much a 'blame the victim' mentality for people who have been given a bum deal. - but I guess that all depends on how much the 'victim' wants - but is there not a basic standard of living and opportunity that all people are entitled too which is not given to them? - people who are unnoticed, forgotten or deemed to weak to be taken notice of seem to be left out - and thats because 'survival of the fittest' seems to be what people believe these days - I dont know I could be wrong... its just something I feel.

Just my thoughts.

i think there's a difference between "blaming the victim" and holding people responsible for their own lives

to blame them is to say whatever bad thing happened to them was their fault or that they somehow deserved it

obviously that kind of thinking is misguided

but it seems just as misguided to think that, just because something bad happened to someone (and it wasn't their fault), they should now no longer be accountable for anything else that happens in their life

to use my overly simplistic driving analogy once again:

that would be like a good driver making his way safely down the highway, and suddenly, out of nowhere, a drunk driver swerves across the divider and crashes into them

it's not our driver's fault

it was horrible thing, to be sure

but once our driver gets back behind the wheel, we still expect him to follow the rules of the road - he doesn't get a free pass to just drive however he wants and wreck into other drivers

and it would be really sad if he just sits home and doesn't ever get back into his car again - but frankly, that's his choice to do so

he could just as well get back out there and drive his own car

sure, it would be scary - but it might also be alot better for him than relying on other people to drive him where he needs to go

 

[coyote]

^and, by the way, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't all do what we can to correct the inequities in life

i'm all for fighting the good fight and working to end injustice in the world

following the driver analogy, again: we should work to get drunk drivers off the road so that the same ill-fate does not befall someone else

but that's a whole different thing than holding people accountable for themselves

 

[coyote]

^or maybe it's the same thing

if we feel we should hold people accountable for their actions

that means we hold people accountable for being unfair to others

but it also means we hold people accountable for how they act after they've been treated unfairly by others

otherwise it would be unfair

 

[irish_bob]

i think there's a difference between "blaming the victim" and holding people responsible for their own lives

to blame them is to say whatever bad thing happened to them was their fault or that they somehow deserved it

obviously that kind of thinking is misguided

but it seems just as misguided to think that, just because something bad happened to someone (and it wasn't their fault), they should now no longer be accountable for anything else that happens in their life

to use my overly simplistic driving analogy once again:

that would be like a good driver making his way safely down the highway, and suddenly, out of nowhere, a drunk driver swerves across the divider and crashes into them

it's not our driver's fault

it was horrible thing, to be sure

but once our driver gets back behind the wheel, we still expect him to follow the rules of the road - he doesn't get a free pass to just drive however he wants and wreck into other drivers

and it would be really sad if he just sits home and doesn't ever get back into his car again - but frankly, that's his choice to do so

he could just as well get back out there and drive his own car

sure, it would be scary - but it might also be alot better for him than relying on other people to drive him where he needs to go

no offense but thier is a large amount of hyperbole in your post , im not saying that sad people have the right to act in a wreckless fashion , thus endangering others , im not saying they can use thier heartache as an excuse to break societys rules , we are not special , thier is a big difference between that and someone not fulfilling thier potential due to devastating past experiences

 

[sullyS25]

no offense but thier is a large amount of hyperbole in your post , im not saying that sad people have the right to act in a wreckless fashion , thus endangering others , im not saying they can use thier heartache as an excuse to break societys rules , we are not special , thier is a big difference between that and someone not fulfilling thier potential due to devastating past experiences

When is it time to stop blaming your past experiences for your shortcomings now? Do we just continue to blame everyone else for how we are now, hold resentments for what was done in the past, and continue to let the people that hurt us and let the past continue to have power over us? Will that be the excuse we use our whole lives for not doing what we want?

My take is that the past is over. Quit blaming it and other people for all the problems of the world and concentrate on TODAY and RIGHT NOW to change the things about yourself that you do not like. People CHOOSE to blame others and past experiences for not being able to fulfill their potential. They let the past cripple them and see a blurry fear-filled future through the lens of the past while pissing on the only moment that truly matters which is right NOW this moment.....

 

[Lea]

Life is what the idiots that you meet make of it.

There are also adversities that you can´t influence. You can, well, you can , ha. But even like this, life will be an unending struggle. Overcome one problem or do one hard work, another will arise, and so it´s just struggling, struggling, no happiness, till you get fed up with that.

 

[irrational]

Life is what the idiots that you meet make of it.

There are also adversities that you can´t influence. You can, well, you can , ha. But even like this, life will be an unending struggle. Overcome one problem or do one hard work, another will arise, and so it´s just struggling, struggling, no happiness, till you get fed up with that.

And once you get fed up, you say '**** it' and live life for you and those you love/care about. Until that point it will indeed be a miserable ride.

 

[sullyS25]

And once you get fed up, you say '**** it' and live life for you and those you love/care about. Until that point it will indeed be a miserable ride.

Hahaha I love it! Thank you for some positivity and bringing the mentality of change.

 

[KiaKaha]

i think there's a difference between "blaming the victim" and holding people responsible for their own lives

to blame them is to say whatever bad thing happened to them was their fault or that they somehow deserved it

obviously that kind of thinking is misguided

but it seems just as misguided to think that, just because something bad happened to someone (and it wasn't their fault), they should now no longer be accountable for anything else that happens in their life

There is a difference - absoloutely - and I think this is where a lot of the debate lies. - people dont like feeling they are responsible for other people, I understand this. I do think people need to be accountable for their own lives, and their decisions. I also dont think its healthy to live in the past, complaining and being passive - however its an easy thing to do and not an easy thing to change, particularly if all you seen is misery your whole life...

There is more I want to say - which supports my belief that I disagree with the expression 'life is what you make of it' and other points brought up... but I dont have the time right now. I will come back after I do what I have to do.

 

[Lea]

And once you get fed up, you say '**** it' and live life for you and those you love/care about. Until that point it will indeed be a miserable ride.

Wish you good luck with living your life then. I have mine too but this one is miserable. If yours turns out better, congratulations. You´re fine now maybe but what if you got an incurable painful disease for example, etc. etc., you might struggle and struggle hoping it gets better but it doesn´t and then you feel like you just have no more strenghth to struggle. It´s easy for you to be brave when you´re fine.

Going to sleep, bye.

 

[Kiwong]

unlucky break is a catilyst for change for the better , an oxy moron if ever i heard one

A catalyst. Yes, adversity was the catalyst for me.

I'd suggest that adversity as a catalyst for change is best defined as a paradox, rather than an oxy moron, but in my case surprisingly true nevertheless.

 

[irrational]

Life is what other people make it.

If other people must be involved, lets turn it into; Life is what you let other people make of it.

 

[SAM2011]

When is it time to stop blaming your past experiences for your shortcomings now? Do we just continue to blame everyone else for how we are now, hold resentments for what was done in the past, and continue to let the people that hurt us and let the past continue to have power over us? Will that be the excuse we use our whole lives for not doing what we want?

My take is that the past is over. Quit blaming it and other people for all the problems of the world and concentrate on TODAY and RIGHT NOW to change the things about yourself that you do not like. People CHOOSE to blame others and past experiences for not being able to fulfill their potential. They let the past cripple them and see a blurry fear-filled future through the lens of the past while pissing on the only moment that truly matters which is right NOW this moment.....

Well said. Also Coyote understands it all.

I guess some people just have a different way of thinking/understanding about things.

That's okay though, we are all different.

 

[irrational]

Well, then obviously I should move to your neck of the woods

You should, the sun always shines here, it helps a lot

 

[sullyS25]

Well said. Also Coyote understands its all.

I guess some people just have a different way of thinking/understanding about things.

That's okay though, we are all different.

Yes exactly....I constantly need to remind myself that I too used to think like that and have empathy for those that still do