Lack of masculinity

I don't know

I don't know

I'm quite dominant and risk taking, but not particularly confident. I don't think taking risks or confidence has anything to do with your testosterone level. Taking risks may actually be a sign of poor judgement and poor impulse control (I suffer from the latter).

i'm the same to be honest. i think its actually more genuine to be yourself rather then siding with particular gender cliches. i tend to vent my masculinity when nobody is around by jumping up and down and doing some push-ups or kicking the foot rest in the lounge room.

i know a few people in my family who are your typical alpha male walking cliches who think anything outside the gender box is either "gay" or "unusual" but they don't realise how naive and boring they come across by believing this. they also timidly believe hair should only look a certain way and are just really uptight and comform to everything society wants them to be. i've always had this rebellious side to me where i just want to be myself. unfortunately the problem is that being male and not having those alpha male traits or just say you are placid and always calm etc then its easier to be walked over and to lose out...

its part of the reason i dont see myself living a life around traditional sorts of people. but this seems to more with the baby boomer generation and some generation x's who have that old fashioned deep-seated mentality of how people should be.

I'm a submissive guy who doesn't initiate sexual acts. Ever. I'm way too shy to just take charge and rip my clothes off and pull it out and do whatever. If I was never lucky enough to go out with women who ended up dominating me, I'd still be a virgin.

Yes typically women go for guys with confidence and dominance, but once they see that it's not that great, they start to want the nice guy. Granted they don't stay very long, because nice guys are too easy and complacent whereas women seem to need drama/challenge until they're ready to settle down, but whatever.

If you feel unmasculine (is that the word? anyway...) physically, go hit the gym 😉. That's about the only good thing it did for me, certainly didn't help my confidence. I stopped working out though, as I saw that working on my confidence was more important/beneficial for me than looking strong/attractive. I worked out regularly for a good 4 years... Other males aren't as afraid of me anymore, but I'm doing a lot better with my social anxiety 🙂

Anyway, my point is, that before I started working out, I felt like a sissy girl... afterwards, seeing that I was intimidating other males and I got a lot bigger, I felt quite masculine. RAWWWR 😀. So I would recommend it, if you want to feel more masculine.

In the past I've felt like that.

But now I seriously think there's no such thing as a ''lack of masculinity''. How does one define a man in the first place? Heavy voice, big muscles, no emotions, and dominant behavior? I've know allot of girls that are like that, so by definition, that's not manly behavior. That's not a man, that's a stereotype. The labels ''Man'' or ''Women'' tells you very little about a person, but as it seems many have yet to find that out. =/

In the past I've felt allot of shame because I wasn't as manly as other guys, then I started recognizing patterns between guys who put on the whole 'look how macho I am' attitude, and completely lost the will to be like that also. Masculinity, femininity, just words that describe the behavior of stereotypes. In the end you're the one who determines who you are, despite what others expect of you.

blackpuma said: ↑

In the past I've felt like that.

But now I seriously think there's no such thing as a ''lack of masculinity''. How does one define a man in the first place? Heavy voice, big muscles, no emotions, and dominant behavior? I've know allot of girls that are like that, so by definition, that's not manly behavior. That's not a man, that's a stereotype. The labels ''Man'' or ''Women'' tells you very little about a person, but as it seems many have yet to find that out. =/

In the past I've felt allot of shame because I wasn't as manly as other guys, then I started recognizing patterns between guys who put on the whole 'look how macho I am' attitude, and completely lost the will to be like that also. Masculinity, femininity, just words that describe the behavior of stereotypes. In the end you're the one who determines who you are, despite what others expect of you.

Yes, sir.
Or, simplified, you are who you are.

I'm pretty submissive myself. It's often because I'm to scared I'll do this wrong or that wrong and upset someone. I'm into things that some people refer to as "girly", like romance, cute things like puppys and kittens, elegance, sappy songs. However I am still a man.

I feel masculine, but I feel like I'm still a kid sometimes.

KJC said: ↑

As a social phobic male, one of the causes (or result) of my social phobia is a lack of masculinity. Men are supposed to be confident, dominant, and risk taking while I am insecure, submissive, and afraid to take chances. My fights with my mom make me feel like I'm a stereotypical teenage girl, and I frequently get disgusted like a girl at things most males would not.

Does anyone else feel similar?

I think it is the result, rather than the cause.

lemme tell you something. im sick & frkn tired of all the alphas running around, punching their chests, acting like monkeys, because society told them so. for once, i'd like a guy to admit that he's cried at a movie before. or likes to cuddle. goshdang. being a man is good & all, but this isnt wild kingdom. guys need to let go sometimes & actually be human. you wanna spoon? say it! being a man has nothing to do with whether you carry a gun or you have facial/chest hair, or you work out like a fiend. being a man means knowing your a man & accepting that as a man, you will have "weak" moments. that doesnt make you less of a man. that makes you MAN ENOUGH to admit it.

Well said!

P.s. I want to spoon 😀

hmmm dunno but im always letting women boss me around 🙄 , i need to grow some balls 😎 only problem is women kick you in the balls when they get angry 😕 hmmmm naaaa ill just carry on letting girls push me around 🙂 i dont mind not really.....post edit and exquisite i cried at the movies once , just a little while ago it was toy story 3d , all the toys were about to die in a fire , i got so attached to the personalitys of the toys gazza .... well not cried , but a single tear ran down my cheek , course being a man i wiped it off and hid it very quickly lol

fitftw said: ↑

Well said!

P.s. I want to spoon

haha YES!!! i got a confession!

mrb said: ↑

hmmm dunno but im always letting women boss me around 🙄 , i need to grow some balls 😎 only problem is women kick you in the balls when they get angry 😕 hmmmm naaaa ill just carry on letting girls push me around 🙂 i dont mind not really.....post edit and exquisite i cried at the movies once , just a little while ago it was toy story 3d , all the toys were about to die in a fire , i got so attached to the personalitys of the toys gazza .... well not cried , but a single tear ran down my cheek , course being a man i wiped it off and hid it very quickly lol

look, its not even a bossing around thing. ill be honest, as psychotic as it sounds, i used to tell me ex that i'd like it when he'd get possessive with me. that whole over-protective thing, im the man, youre my woman? its great! but once in a while, i wanna hear, "hey babe, lets cuddle tonight" or ask me how im feeling, ask to talk. anything. for example, i know i can be pushy & bossy. but its not like im gonna be a b*tch about it. sounds motherly, but most women only want whats best for their men. its not being bossy, its looking out for ya, cuz lets face it, guys may be guys & all "masculine", but you still do incredibly stupid shtuff.

you guys think you need to be manly 100% of the time. jeez! you can have your beers & checking out chicks, but sometimes, its ok to let your guard down. look. im a huge girly girl. i like my make up, my lipgloss, im obsessed with my heels & my clothes. but i used to sit on my ex's porch, drink beer with him & check out chicks walking by. & fyi, im straight...except when it comes to megan fox, but thats another story. & its not like i was faking. i literally sat & checked out chicks with him. im a girly girl, but idk how to cook, i hate cleaning, im not even a huge fan of kids. im lazy, i like my beer, i even like to check out women. does that make me any less of a woman? not the last time i checked. i know im a girl, im feminine. but i can also be laid back, hanging out with the guys, drinking beer. why cant guys do that? its like, you think you have to be this emotionless hulk.

society tells me i should be a whore, keep my mouth shut, be a sex object & submissive. HECK to the NO. i say whats on my mind, i have standards, & i do what i want to do, not what some dude tells me. why do guys have to be what society tells them? BE YOUR OWN PERSON. you wanna cry? do it. you wanna watch the notebook cuz you think its an adorable love story? do it. i would KILL for a guy that would offer to watch pride & prejudice with me & was legitimately interested in the story.

think about it, a woman's supposed to cook, right? do you guys now how sexy it is when a guy cooks? its like youre saying, "screw society, im a man, i do what i want, & i wanna cook". it works for cuddling too. it works for sappy love stories. it works for yelling & having emotions. if you know youre a man, dont ever let anybody tell you otherwise. YOU make your own definition of masculine!

&btw, why did you have to ruin ts3 for me?!?!?!

As long as it's the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice, count me in.

But I'll still only cook over a large, wood-fed fire.

😀

Tiercel said: ↑

As long as it's the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice, count me in.

But I'll still only cook over a large, wood-fed fire.

😀

oh! wood fed fire. how very caveman. but see, youre still cooking! haha. i didnt know there was an a&e version...is that the bbc version, with colin firth? i was actually talking about the keira knightely one...always makes me cry.

I know hot to cook only simple stuff.. Mostly because I get full easy since my body's small. So I only do simple small stuff.

By the way..

(I might be the only one who remembers the tick)

Yeah, the BBC production played over here on A&E, so I always call it that even though I know better.

And most of my cooking over the aforementioned fires consists of marshmallows. Very manly.

😉

Mr.Moon said: ↑

I know hot to cook only simple stuff.. Mostly because I get full easy since my body's small. So I only do simple small stuff.

By the way..

(I might be the only one who remembers the tick)

i dont know how to cook anything besides pizza in the oven...or microwave something maybe....actually no, i make a mean omelet. but thats it. cant survive on omelets alone. so i fail as a woman.... plus, im a russian jew woman. so i dont only fail being a woman, i simply fail at life! but hey, i still know im feminine.

Tiercel said: ↑

Yeah, the BBC production played over here on A&E, so I always call it that even though I know better.

And most of my cooking over the aforementioned fires consists of marshmallows. Very manly.

😉

haha yes! thats romantic! very mr.darcy. lol

Mr.Moon said: ↑

I know hot to cook only simple stuff.. Mostly because I get full easy since my body's small. So I only do simple small stuff.

By the way..

(I might be the only one who remembers the tick)

& btw, cartoon network, back in the 90s?