Lack of masculinity

[EasySkanking]

society tells me i should be a whore, keep my mouth shut, be a sex object & submissive.... BE YOUR OWN PERSON. you wanna cry? do it. you wanna watch the notebook cuz you think its an adorable love story? do it. i would KILL for a guy that would offer to watch pride & prejudice with me & was legitimately interested in the story.

Woah... you're so right . I do do that kind of stuff and I don't really care what people think of it - though it's kinda embarassing when someone finds out, but not enough for me to stop doing it (I have the book "Twilight" - though I haven't read it yet cause I haven't had time and I listen to avril lavigne/paramore/flyleaf because they just ****IN ROCK ) [I mean sometimes... not always]

I agree with you that each person should be themselves and not worry about complying with society's image of what someone should be like... personally I hit the gym real hard a couple years ago, because I was seriously underweight and weak... and I felt good when I gained a good 40 pounds, because it allowed me to speak my mind a lot more without having to worry about getting my ass kicked... I don't know, working out was a really good thing for me, took away the stress sometimes... it was a real challenge... a learning opportunity... but I didn't do it to be "macho".

 

[exquisite]

Woah... you're so right . I do do that kind of stuff and I don't really care what people think of it - though it's kinda embarassing when someone finds out, but not enough for me to stop doing it (I have the book "Twilight" - though I haven't read it yet cause I haven't had time and I listen to avril lavigne/paramore/flyleaf because they just ****IN ROCK )

I agree with you that each person should be themselves and not worry about complying with society's image of what someone should be like... personally I hit the gym real hard a couple years ago, because I was seriously underweight and weak... and I felt good when I gained a good 40 pounds, because it allowed me to speak my mind a lot more without having to worry about getting my ass kicked... I don't know, working out was a really good thing for me, took away the stress sometimes... it was a real challenge... a learning opportunity... but I didn't do it to be "macho".

thats the thing, dont do it to fit some kind of mold. dont do anything just to "mold" yourself into anything. do what you want to do. be who you want to be. see, this all goes into stereotypes. you work out? you must be a dumb macho meathead. ......or it could be that you just wanna take stress away. people will always think what they think. but who cares. those that matter dont mind & those that mind dont matter.

 

[EasySkanking]

No, I don't work out. I realized that it wasn't giving me back as much as I was putting in it. So I quit. And again, I didn't do it to fit some kind of "mold" - I did it because I was seriously underweight and undersized - due to my social anxiety I was in my house all day doing no excercise for a good 4-5 years. People used to not listen to my comments ideas or brush me off often... it's just the way the world works...

I get your point about not "molding in", but I think you also have to give in to some of the fights... comply with some of "society's rules" in order to survive/be happy.

For example, I think the whole education system is a bunch of bull****. I was in "Advance Placement" course (highest there is)... and I saw people cheating just to get good grades... but for what? To get a higher paying job? Why not to learn something, to make yourself a little more 'enlightened'? NO, society says that we should get good grades so we can have good jobs, simply put. So I quit school.

The result? I can't get any jobs that pay more than $10 an hour... So I'm going back to school, yes, just to get a higher paying job... but not because society tells me to (I really wouldn't want to) but because I want to be able to survive more adequately... and I just cant fight society on my own (im just 1 man!) so I have to give in a little bit and accept this rule in order to survive (I don't want to "die" )

I hope you get my point too... I get yours and I agree

 

[exquisite]

i completely get it, & agree! when it comes to something like survival, you cant help but have to conform, what other choice do you have? but i mean, in the sense that society tells us what we have to look like, how we have to act. granted, being courteous & polite to others is a great asset & it comes from society. but when it comes to guy [or girls] thinking theyre not adequate enough for the simple reason that they think they dont fit the mold of whats "ok" & "accepted", & just beat themselves up over it, then its a completely different story.

 

[EasySkanking]

Yeah, true enough . Good point.

I'm gonna try to "be myself" more often in terms of physical appearance... I think I might actually end up being more attractive to the right kind of girl that I want to attract because of it... hmm

Thanks for sharing, helps a lot - I don't have any female real life friends, so it's good to get the scoop from a female for once!

 

[exquisite]

no problem! i wish both sexes would just talk to each other....it would save all of us a lot of heartache & misunderstandings. thing is, im only 1 girl. i cant speak for everyone. but thats just me, thats how i see it. & anyways, when it comes to attracting the opposite sex, why would you want to mold yourself into someone youre not? if its the right girl, she'll be crazy about you no matter how your hair looks or what your music preferences are, or even if you like watching wizards of waverly place. i kid you not, my ex was obsessed with that show...& hannah montana. hey, didnt stop me from loving him.

 

[Kiwong]

I have many what you would call sensitive qualities, but I don't equate them to lack of masculinity. I am actually proud of some these qualities, I think they some of the better parts of me.

I love wildflowers, I like to write nature poetry, I care abut nature conservation. Sad songs, movies and poems do make me cry.

There are qualities that I see more related to sensitivity to criticism, low-self esteem, extreme shyness, sexual submissiveness, introspection that I am not as proud of. They form the crux of my socal anxiety, but I don't see them as qualities lacking in masculinity.

Anger is also an emotion that is an expression of my social anxiety. I can talk about all day about MY emotions but the trouble is I am introspective, and I am unlikely to talk about or understand the emotions of others. In that was I am selfish.

I find it hard to talk to anyone, but talking in person to a member of the opposite sex is even harder, particularly an attractive person. My social anxiety makes me a less desirable prospect in the realm of romance.

 

[fitftw]

I only look masculine cuz I work out. I get nervous talking to women in reality. Never know what to say. I'm sure I come across as being an idiot, but there's just too much in this world that I don't understand and I think so much that I render almost everything useless.

I just wish I could be ignorant like most people and just live life.

Be yourself. I play dance dance revolution, I don't initiate sex with women, I cried watching the notebook.

Women do not want guys like that. Its not natural. Women do want the alpha male. Its basic primal instinct.

 

[mrb]

haha YES!!! i got a confession!



look, its not even a bossing around thing. ill be honest, as psychotic as it sounds, i used to tell me ex that i'd like it when he'd get possessive with me. that whole over-protective thing, im the man, youre my woman? its great! but once in a while, i wanna hear, "hey babe, lets cuddle tonight" or ask me how im feeling, ask to talk. anything. for example, i know i can be pushy & bossy. but its not like im gonna be a b*tch about it. sounds motherly, but most women only want whats best for their men. its not being bossy, its looking out for ya, cuz lets face it, guys may be guys & all "masculine", but you still do incredibly stupid shtuff.

you guys think you need to be manly 100% of the time. jeez! you can have your beers & checking out chicks, but sometimes, its ok to let your guard down. look. im a huge girly girl. i like my make up, my lipgloss, im obsessed with my heels & my clothes. but i used to sit on my ex's porch, drink beer with him & check out chicks walking by. & fyi, im straight...except when it comes to megan fox, but thats another story. & its not like i was faking. i literally sat & checked out chicks with him. im a girly girl, but idk how to cook, i hate cleaning, im not even a huge fan of kids. im lazy, i like my beer, i even like to check out women. does that make me any less of a woman? not the last time i checked. i know im a girl, im feminine. but i can also be laid back, hanging out with the guys, drinking beer. why cant guys do that? its like, you think you have to be this emotionless hulk.

society tells me i should be a whore, keep my mouth shut, be a sex object & submissive. HECK to the NO. i say whats on my mind, i have standards, & i do what i want to do, not what some dude tells me. why do guys have to be what society tells them? BE YOUR OWN PERSON. you wanna cry? do it. you wanna watch the notebook cuz you think its an adorable love story? do it. i would KILL for a guy that would offer to watch pride & prejudice with me & was legitimately interested in the story.

think about it, a woman's supposed to cook, right? do you guys now how sexy it is when a guy cooks? its like youre saying, "screw society, im a man, i do what i want, & i wanna cook". it works for cuddling too. it works for sappy love stories. it works for yelling & having emotions. if you know youre a man, dont ever let anybody tell you otherwise. YOU make your own definition of masculine!

&btw, why did you have to ruin ts3 for me?!?!?!

btw i was only joking about women bossing me around lol , i do all the things you say , tell a woman i love them , cuddle them all the time , kiss them all the time , i can be manly or not depends on the situation im in , im far from emotionless ..... jezzz quite the opposite in fact ,i like romantic meals , hell ill even cook a romantic meal egg and chips , how more romantic can you get than that , and as far as toy story goes , i forgot to tell you the ending , what happend was ......... oh never mind go see it yourself lolzzzzzzzz

 

[da_illest101]

i understand where your coming from, I may look very manly, ( not muscular ) so i guess girls expect me to be some type of alpha male. but in reality i'm very submissive. The better looking, the cuter or the more i like the girl the more submissive i'll become.

back in the days I had a huge crush on one of my friend, she was very friendly and nice. It might seem weird but I always pictured her a mistress and me a dog on the leech. She kept telling my I was the perfect guy, the kindest and all but she never tried to go out with me despise knowing my feelings. I would have done anything for her.

I'm not always that submissive, it always depend of the person I love

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

lol I love this post.
Yeah, I can relate.
What bugs me the most about myself however is my inability to defend myself.
I don't mind so much that I'm sensitive and shy. That's just me. But not being able to talk back and say what I really think without coming off as an idiot, and being weak and skinny doesn't do anything for confidence.
But don't let the feeling of immasculinity get you down. You are who you are. And if there's a girl who doesn't appreciate you for that, then she's not worth your time anyway.
Just be prepared for others attempting to take advantage of you. If it happens, just stay strong and know it's not your fault.
If anything, girls don't care about the strong masculine type. It's the confidence they are attracted to.
I know it's hard to give advice when I have the problems myself and I may be being a hypocrite, but I still know what's true. Fake the confidence if you have to. At least you can have a little fun until the girl realizes you have no prospects in life and takes off.