Journey of Jazz

I told myself after I eventually quit my job at the call center I worked at that left me going home feeling like crap every night and made me feel like a complete moron that I would never go back to work there. Now it seems like that is my only option. I don't know how I'm going to handle having to be there again. I feel stressed out and overwhelmed just thinking about it.

PerseverareJasmine said: ↑

I told myself after I eventually quit my job at the call center I worked at that left me going home feeling like crap every night and made me feel like a complete moron that I would never go back to work there. Now it seems like that is my only option. I don't know how I'm going to handle having to be there again. I feel stressed out and overwhelmed just thinking about it.

Is there absolutely nothing else that you can do? You certainly don't want to go back to a job that made you feel like shit all the time!

MikeyC said: ↑

Is there absolutely nothing else that you can do? You certainly don't want to go back to a job that made you feel like shit all the time!

I'm still searching for any other options, but so far I haven't had any success with job searching. My old job will most likely be the best option when it comes to money, which is what I need right now, so I may have to just try to suck it up the best I can and get through it.

I've been having trouble breathing recently and I don't know what might be causing it. It's been happening in situations where I feel relaxed, like when I'm just lounging around and reading or watching television, then suddenly I start to feel a discomfort in my chest and my heart feels like its tensing up, sort of as if its being squeezed. I have a hard time taking deep breaths when it happens and I end up gasping for air. I also start to feel lightheaded, weak, and sometimes dizzy, and my arms and legs start to feel numb. It makes my mind have a "fuzzy" feeling, I guess that's the best way I can describe it, and I feel like I'm kind of fading out. My heart rate speeds up and sometimes when it happens I can feel my temperature increasing too. I've tried to calm myself down when it happens and stretch to get back some composure, but it doesn't help. I end up just waiting for it to pass.

My mom said that they may be panic attacks, but I'm not sure. I looked up my symptoms online, and a lot of websites said the causes behind difficulty breathing can be minor and non-threatening, but their could also be something major causing it in some cases. I think going to ask a doctor about it would be comforting so I can know what the reason for it is and what I should do about it, because its starting to freak me out. I haven't been to the doctor for a check-up in years anyway.

You should absolutely, positively, undoubtedly, immediately, 100% see a doctor.

MikeyC said: ↑

You should absolutely, positively, undoubtedly, immediately, 100% see a doctor.

This, most definitely. :thumbup:

I'll talk to my mom when she wakes up about scheduling an appointment (nearly 5 am here). I've been taking antibiotics since last month, so I'm wondering if that might have anything to do with it at all.

The soonest I can go see a doctor is this Thursday. My mom suggested that I stop taking my antibiotics for the next 3 days to see if that'll make anything improve, but whether it does make any difference or not, I'm still going to the doctor.

I went to the hospital and had a chest radiograph and an electrocardiogram. I also had to get some blood drawn. They said they're going to look at the results from the tests to check for any heart or lung diseases, and they're also going to check for anemia, so now I have to wait to see how the results turn out. I was also prescribed Zoloft to take once a day, just in case the breathing problems are being caused by my anxiety.

Hopefully I'll be able to know the results sometime this week. I'm starting to feel a little better, but I'm worried about the fact that my breathing often gets worse when I lay down. Most nights I've had to stay in an upright position to get to sleep.

Alright, the results came back today actually. I didn't think I'd know until later in the week. The doctor said everything is normal from what the tests say, so I feel relieved about that. She said its most likely my anxiety that's been causing it, so she told me to keep taking the Zoloft for now and to come back if I don't feel like its improving. The Zoloft hasn't been giving me any bad side effects so far, aside from some slight nausea, so I'm glad about that.

Hesitance can really suck sometimes. I often wish I had that "Just go for it!" mentality when it comes to a lot of situations, instead of shying away and doubting myself, as I tend to do. I get much too caught up in thinking about the "what-ifs", and it leads to me backing down or bottling things up inside. I need to work on improving that.

My dad's birthday is coming up on Saturday. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to get for him. He's pretty hard to shop for, although I know that he really loves getting socks as a gift for some reason. I'm not too sure what to give him along with the usual socks though. Last year I gave him a mug with the Detroit Tigers logo on it, since that's his hometown and he always roots for that team. I'll have to figure something out for this year. I like cooking for birthdays, and lasagna and spaghetti are two of his favorite foods, so I could cook one of those for him. Maybe we can have some cheesecake for dessert, which we both love, so I'll get to make him happy and I'll be able to stuff my face with cheesecake too, yummy.

For the card I normally get him a humorous one or a card that sings (love those), but this year I'm thinking about going back to what I used to do when I was younger and making the card myself. Store-bought cards are nice, but I remember I liked being able to put my own touches on the cards that I made for him as a kid because it seemed a little more personal to me.

I took some pictures of my dog Spanky when I was feeling bored earlier and he was curled up near me in the living room with his favorite pillow.

It sort of looks like he's trying to do a model pose in this one, what with the angle of his head 🙂.





And here's one of him in my mom's truck when we took him to the vet a while back.

I heard a loud boom outside of my bedroom window a little while ago. I always hate hearing sounds like that at night, especially when I'm home alone like tonight. It makes me paranoid and I start creating all kind of theories in my mind about what the noise was, even if in reality it might have just been caused by something minor. I peeked out of the backdoor and kitchen window blinds and didn't see anything or anyone moving around outside, so I'm just going to camp out in the living room near my dog with the tv volume turned low so I can listen for anything else and have some comfort.

I am sure a dog like that will be a nice protector.

How old is he?

Hoppy said: ↑

I am sure a dog like that will be a nice protector.

How old is he?

He's five years old. He's a really sweet dog, but he gets protective if he senses that there's possible trouble around, which can be a good thing.

I saw this a little while earlier. Now I'm tempted to keep watching videos of cats or dogs instead of starting to pack for my trip to San Antonio like I need to be doing.

Dramatic cat and a mirror - YouTube