It's not like I'm imagining things

[OceanMist]

You need to start meeting the other percentage of them who don't mind it. I know there are

It's trial and error, though. You will come across a lot of dummies before you find "the one"

Besides, have you tried joining sites relevant to your interests to make friends there? You know, so you can find others with similar tastes. It makes it easier to find someone you can relate to.

Look, i get what you are saying but you are asking me to relate to the minority of the world.

Let's face it most people, especially women, don't like shyness.

My interests involve sports and video games. Don't think for a second that I'll find women there and don't even try to tell me I will.

The truth is that I'm a freak. This girl was right, I needed it told to me in some way or the other.

Maybe I should just make friends. I mean, in your own personal opinion, I'm aware you don't like me too much and you r a woman. Tell me, why would many other women like me?

It's not like I have anything that they like to offer.

 

[OceanMist]

You've never seen anything wrong with you... and... you're HERE! Funny.

There's almost nothing anyone can say to persuade you that your are being irrational. You believe what you want to believe...

What I can say to you which might make a little sense (to you) is this. The goal isn't to find someone while you're in your current state of mind who will suddenly LIFT you out of your troubles and open a whole new world of happiness and love! Work on your happiness by yourself... Your passions, goals, positive attributes. Work on this until you consider yourself happy. Then you find a girl and you make HER happy. Ever consider that you are being quite selfish? Again, like in all other posts I've made, I've been down the same path and and up again.

So, how exactly am I selfish here? Lmao. Because I desire a female connection?

I have no clue what you are talking about.

I'm not looking for a saviour. I'm looking for a woman to date. I didn't think that would be a question of "who I am." It isn't for anyone else.

 

[Lamb]

This is kind of a "oh, she's rude so she must be wrong" accusation.

Anyone can be single at any time, no matter how nice or great they are.

As for me, I haven't taken enough time to do soul searching, so she's kind of right. Hell, I took a good 5 years off from trying with women.

I'm not implying she's correct or incorrect. She is however making an assumption without really knowing you (if you just started talking), which seems to have made you reflect on your sense of self quite heavily.

If this were reversed, you went out with tons of people and she said that- I'd say the same thing.

 

[OceanMist]

You've never seen anything wrong with you... and... you're HERE! Funny.

There's almost nothing anyone can say to persuade you that your are being irrational. You believe what you want to believe...

What I can say to you which might make a little sense (to you) is this. The goal isn't to find someone while you're in your current state of mind who will suddenly LIFT you out of your troubles and open a whole new world of happiness and love! Work on your happiness by yourself... Your passions, goals, positive attributes. Work on this until you consider yourself happy. Then you find a girl and you make HER happy. Ever consider that you are being quite selfish? Again, like in all other posts I've made, I've been down the same path and and up again.

I just want to say something. This post really ticked me off.

You call me selfish and tell me that I am a person with a bunch of problems because I'm on an SA site?

Excuse me, but what the **** are you doing here mister all high and mighty?

 

[FollowMe]

So, how exactly am I selfish here? Lmao. Because I desire a female connection?

I have no clue what you are talking about.

I'm not looking for a saviour. I'm looking for a woman to date. I didn't think that would be a question of "who I am." It isn't for anyone else.

No, and you know that saying "Because I desire a female connection" completely undermines that point that I made because you refuse to see the truth.

You are looking for a girl to date; that is normal. But you'd be selfish to bring anyone into your world right now. I do not know you, but I have a strong feeling that you are not the happiest person in the world. You seem to be a self-pitying type of person who... ah what the heck is the point. I've been in the same mindset and I know you can't see it in the right light now.

Just consider this. " I'm feeling bad so I say that I'm kind of mad about how my life has turned out"

Do you want to bring a girl into that world of sadness? A world where the girl has to be with a guy who is MAD about his life? That's the selfish part... You would be the down guy in the relationship; the guy who sucks the life out of his partner. You might take some offense but see that it's true. I've seen this crap before, haha... Just work on your happiness first.

 

[OceanMist]

I'm not implying she's correct or incorrect. She is however making an assumption without really knowing you (if you just started talking), which seems to have made you reflect on your sense of self quite heavily.

If this were reversed, you went out with tons of people and she said that- I'd say the same thing.

Actually you wouldn't. This topic wouldn't have been brought up because I'd have nothing to feel inferior about.

 

[FollowMe]

I just want to say something. This post really ticked me off.

You call me selfish and tell me that I am a person with a bunch of problems because I'm on an SA site?

Excuse me, but what the **** are you doing here mister all high and mighty?

You're ticked off because you're an angry person who is insecure. It's okay.

I didn't say you are a person with a bunch of problems. I said that you are a person who isn't admitting that you don't, in fact, see yourself in a good light.

It makes sense that you would object to a comment that spells out the truth. You're objecting to what you can't face.

I have problems too... But I work on mine. I fix mine.

 

[Hellhound]

My interests involve sports and video games. Don't think for a second that I'll find women there and don't even try to tell me I will.

Are you kidding? There are loads of gamer girls out there In the site I'm part of, most people are into video games, anime, comics, art, maybe even sports.

Maybe I should just make friends. I mean, in your own personal opinion, I'm aware you don't like me too much and you r a woman. Tell me, why would many other women like me?

Believe it or not, I don't dislike you. You might have noticed already, but I am opinionated and I voice it. I might dislike attitudes, but it takes a lot more for me to dislike a person. it has nothing to do with gender, is just how I am.

There are things some do that I don't agree with. I've even had arguments with close friends over things we didn't approve of each other, yet we are still best friends.

I don't know if this might help, but in my personal case, I find shyness really cute. I don't like outgoing people very much because they can be loud and obnoxious, and that annoys me.

 

[OceanMist]

No, and you know that saying "Because I desire a female connection" completely undermines that point that I made because you refuse to see the truth.

You are looking for a girl to date; that is normal. But you'd be selfish to bring anyone into your world right now. I do not know you, but I have a strong feeling that you are not the happiest person in the world. You seem to be a self-pitying type of person who... ah what the heck is the point. I've been in the same mindset and I know you can't see it in the right light now.

Just consider this. " I'm feeling bad so I say that I'm kind of mad about how my life has turned out"

Do you want to bring a girl into that world of sadness? A world where the girl has to be with a guy who is MAD about his life? That's the selfish part... You would be the down guy in the relationship; the guy who sucks the life out of his partner. You might take some offense but see that it's true. I've seen this crap before, haha...

Your answer is ridiculous. So you think I should just sulk in my misery with zero female support?

I'm 28, i'm not young, but I ain't that old. I've lived most of my life without female companionship. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the reason I'm mad is because I haven't had enough female companionship?

 

[FollowMe]

Your answer is ridiculous. So you think I should just sulk in my misery with zero female support?

I'm 28, i'm not young, but I ain't that old. I've lived most of my life without female companionship. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the reason I'm mad is because I haven't had enough female companionship?

No!!! No, no, please don't take it that way. Look at it this way. Name a time in your life when you felt happy and confident in yourself when you were single...

 

[OceanMist]

You're ticked off because you're an angry person who is insecure. It's okay.

I didn't say you are a person with a bunch of problems. I said that you are a person who isn't admitting that you don't, in fact, see yourself in a good light.

It makes sense that you would object to a comment that spells out the truth. You're objecting to what you can't face.

I have problems too... But I work on mine. I fix mine.

Once again, your theme is that I should just be patient and not seek female companionship.

You don't get that I'm alone, and the reason I'm even posting this thread is because I have nobody!

Call me mad, or whatever you want. When push comes to shove, I don't have a g/f and it's been a very long time.

Any soul searching or all that crap is just more time I'm avoiding trying to talk to women.

 

[OceanMist]

No!!! No, no, please don't take it that way. Look at it this way. Name a time in your life when you felt happy and confident in yourself when you were single...

I've never been happy and confident. Remember as you said b4, i am on a SA site.

 

[jaim38]

I don't know if this might help, but in my personal case, I find shyness really cute. I don't like outgoing people very much because they can be loud and obnoxious, and that annoys me.

Same here! I'm a geek and I find shyness cute too. If I do date, I am wary of dating outgoing guys because I worry they can flirt with other women and cheat on me.

 

[OceanMist]

Same here! I'm a geek and I find shyness cute too. If I do date, I am wary of dating outgoing guys because I worry they can flirt with other women and cheat on me.

I've found that even women that say that, they wind up with outgoing guys. I know that sounds negative, but hey, it's what I see.

 

[FollowMe]

Once again, your theme is that I should just be patient and not seek female companionship.

You don't get that I'm alone, and the reason I'm even posting this thread is because I have nobody!

Call me mad, or whatever you want. When push comes to shove, I don't have a g/f and it's been a very long time.

Any soul searching or all that crap is just more time I'm avoiding trying to talk to women.

My theme requires patience. It's not like you'd be doing nothing in your spare time. I am just suggesting to get to know the happier side of you instead of the sad side. I'm not saying that you have to be Tweety Bird or Steve from Blues Clues before you meet someone. But maybe you want to find a way to bring yourself up a little more so that you have a higher range of girls to choose from.

I was in a similar situation and I tried to find someone when I was upset. I realized that I would only bring them down with me because all of the conversations would lead down a negative path. Everything would reveal insecurities or depressions that have been locked up for a while. I decided to get myself better (which I am now. yay!) before meeting someone else. Now, it's my time to get back to meeting people. I have done my time, now you should do yours.

Also, soul searching is not crap. In the end, all you really have in this life is your own mind. You are your own mind and that is it.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

That's the thing. I've always been me. I've never seen anything wrong with me, but apparently I'm not exactly the alpha male.

I'm one of those guys that gets rejected on first dates because I'm too quiet.

You ask what I've learned about myself? It's that I'm too quiet for most women.

I've improved somewhat on social skills, but I'm alone so what does that tell you?

You say why is this woman alone? Then why am I alone? Haha, if she's a failure, then I'm a failure tenfold. Just saying.

Sigh.......Try to be a little more talkative on dates, I guess. At any rate, keep trying. This is so cliche, but, there's someone out there for everyone. Some get lucky fast others have to search longer. Stay active in searching for your future girlfriend. I know your hurting man-hang in there! Good luck!!

 

[Hellhound]

Same here! I'm a geek and I find shyness cute too. If I do date, I am wary of dating outgoing guys because I worry they can flirt with other women and cheat on me.

Not all of them would do that. But an outgoing person might be troublesome to deal with if you're in the introverted side.

 

[FollowMe]

I've never been happy and confident. Remember as you said b4, i am on a SA site.

I don't want to get all corny on you after computer slapping you in the face but I find it's necessary. Now is the time to work on your happiness. You say you like sports and video games. Are these your passions? I like sports and love video games but I realized that my passions require more thinking. Reading history and that type of stuff, philosophy, etc. Maybe try more things? Maybe you have a passion that you never knew or were too lazy to pursue. That happened in my case. I know I talk a lot about how I went through a similar experience but I do understand that your experience is different. It's just the mentality that reminds me of ONE of my old mentalities, and so, I figure that some of my solutions might help you.

 

[knr9311]

Okay, well obviously that girl is not the one that you need to be with. Not having many relationships doesn't mean that there's automatically something wrong with you. I'm a girl & I think that shy guys are cute, but of course I'm the same way. You've just got to go for the right type of girl who will accept you for who you are, otherwise things won't work out. Sorry if this wasn't very helpful!

 

[OceanMist]

I don't want to get all corny on you after computer slapping you in the face but I find it's necessary. Now is the time to work on your happiness. You say you like sports and video games. Are these your passions? I like sports and love video games but I realized that my passions require more thinking. Reading history and that type of stuff, philosophy, etc. Maybe try more things? Maybe you have a passion that you never knew or were too lazy to pursue. That happened in my case. I know I talk a lot about how I went through a similar experience but I do understand that your experience is different. It's just the mentality that reminds me of ONE of my old mentalities, and so, I figure that some of my solutions might help you.

You don't get it.

I am shy by nature. No matter how much I "work" on my shyness, it's still going to be there to a certain extent.

According to your "plan," I should never pursue a relationship with a woman because that would be selfish to bring her into my world.

I know you will try to deny this in some manner, but that is really what you are trying to tell me.

Look dude, this shyness can be worked on and improved, but the only way to improve it is to get in the field in the flesh and actually socialize with women. I can't do that from hiding in my house and never trying to meet women.

It's not selfish to pursue making your life better, which is what I'm trying to do by meeting women.

If your philosophy doesn't require actually getting out and talking to women in some sort of manner, then it's bogus. I'm sorry, but I can't get experience unless I get experience. I'm in this position because I didn't get enough experience.