Isolation

[Kiwong]

Someone suggested to me that isolation was a major cause of mental illness. I'm not sure I agree. I think it is probably more of an outcome or a symptom of mental illness as a result of abuse from being around the wrong people leading to a desire for isolation. I've found being around the wrong people can be far more damaging than living in isolation. Once I became isolated, I have found it hard to cope being around people.

I find it a lot more painful and stressful trying to fit into a group of people I don't really like, the people I work with. I am fine on my own, sometimes even happy

 

[pelican2]

I'm isolated but have no desire for it! but mine is a symptom of the rejection i've suffered. Ie what is the point in me trying hard as hard as that is to make friends when people may only reject me anyway?

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Well, maybe if we're talking about being kept alone in a dark basement for years, but other than that, I don't think living alone in the woods can do any harm. Isn't mental illness more of a biochemical matter, or something?....

 

[theslowesthand]

Isolation feels totally normal for me. Being around people (except my childhood family) tends to feel a bit wierd or "unnatural", like i'm on an alien planet. I forgot a long, long time ago any reasons/motivations for having any regular social contact. All of my regular activities are alone-based, and i don't work, so there is absolutely no reason for me usually to be around anybody at all.

There is perhaps one exception, when i am lonely. But i am unsure if any company can fix that (as it has never done when i'm depressed). Also i haven't got a regular social life, and don't know how i'd make any "friends" in real life, so i don't even bother.

 

[laure15]

Being around negative people and bullies drains me and is actually led to PTSD and AVPD. Isolation does have its benefits. Introverts need alone time to recharge. But being isolated for prolonged periods of time can lead to mental illness. Think Tom Hanks in Castaway. Even high risk prison inmates cannot be kept locked in dark rooms for too long or it will be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

I like to strike a balance between isolation and excessive socialization. I socialize with the people I care about and have alone time as well.

 

[Kiwong]

Living alone in a house in the woods is a dream of mine, Pacific.

I am isolated to an extent, Lowest hand, and that is a result of past abuse. I am also more comfortable in my own company, but I call it solitude.

Being around negative people also contributes to my ill health, Laure and peilcan
I guess I am involved in some social activities, but nothing excessive

 

[SilentBird]

There's a difference between isolation and solitude. I can feel more isolated amongst people I don't connect with than if I was by myself doing something enjoy.

 

[Kiwong]

There is a difference Silent Bird. My loneliest times are being around people I can't seen to relate to. My happiest times are in my own company.

 

[mikebird]

YEP!! Wise

I remember being told in my ward by many different nurses and psychotherapists that "it's not my fault"

The main theme when I was little (not a symptom of everyone on the planet)

but the description is mental illness for anyone who is alone or shy and they made it that way by being impolite, or chemicals or foolishness and carelessness! Mental breakdown was a hot phrase to me, meaning "very unhappy". Recruiters do cause, as key points, to land in care. The wrong people.

The cause could be physical (mine) - not self-triggered. Some poignant head bashes at young age (rugby - concussions). Generally caused by evil bullying much later in life. Never expected. Twisted way of life invoked onto me, started by a series of job rejections, building confusion Recruiters are the ultimate bullies. I have wanted to write a book on this. Now is the time to progress with it, thanks to all of you. Without thorough care, my book would be laughed at - ha ha ha ha haaaa!! The loser!! Brat

Absolute equivalent of divorce. I am onto it. I never push anyone away.

I do keep repeating - not welcomed by any, and doing it here... it's my way of wanting to hammer things in. As would a bully? Having it their way. Burger King. Bully King.

Any King or Queen has no understanding or care for, or interest in the function or role of their peasants or pawns; and the only action is to punish the imperfect

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

While I do value my alone time, I do need other people and to socialize. I agree that it is a pain trying to socialize with those you have no interest in (major pain)...but sometimes necessary, as is the case for me at work. My issue is that I am isolated but don't want to be.

 

[gustavofring]

I think from personal experience, isolation can tend to narrow your mind a little and it's very easy to get stuck in negative thought patterns, which you keep reinforcing. Humans are social animals and we need some form of social interaction and positive reinforcement from others.

Sometimes we just don't click with others very well, and then it gets easy to think you can't click with anyone, and that's how some turn into hermits.

 

[Kiwong]

I think from personal experience, isolation can tend to narrow your mind a little and it's very easy to get stuck in negative thought patterns, which you keep reinforcing. Humans are social animals and we need some form of social interaction and positive reinforcement from others.

Sometimes we just don't click with others very well, and then it gets easy to think you can't click with anyone, and that's how some turn into hermits.

I don't agree. A hermit is often someone who has withdrawn from society by choice and live a solitary existence. They don't turn into them. Some seek solitude to practice mindfulness and to be better able to live in the present, and so open the mind, and lead to elightement. Being a hermit need not have a negative connotation as you seem to give it

It seems that western cultures frown on hermitry or those seeking solitude, and are trapped in often unhelpful need to for social interaction, whilst eastern cultures encourage and respect those living in solitude or as hermits.

Positive reinforcement comes from within it is how we interpret what others say about us. Worrying too much about what others say is a part of mental illness in my opinion. Getting lost in worrying about conforming to western society's social standards is what narrows the mind in my view.

 

[gustavofring]

Well, a lot of people withdraw because they have grown bitter of people or are extremely shy (agorophobia). I'm not talking about the people who willfully go into the woods to reach enlightenment or something like that. I shouldn't have used the word hermit. I don't frown on it, but even then, I don't think withdrawal from people entirely is the way to enlightenment. In fact, I'd say dwelling around people and accepting them is a much better way. Not that there's anything wrong with a little solitude every now and then. Balance is the key.

 

[SilentBird]

^ That makes sense to me. I would say that I learn about who I am by my interations with other people, nature and material things. I gain insight into myself between those interactions.

 

[Kiwong]

Well, a lot of people withdraw because they have grown bitter of people or are extremely shy (agorophobia). I'm not talking about the people who willfully go into the woods to reach enlightenment or something like that. I shouldn't have used the word hermit. I don't frown on it, but even then, I don't think withdrawal from people entirely is the way to enlightenment. In fact, I'd say dwelling around people and accepting them is a much better way. Not that there's anything wrong with a little solitude every now and then. Balance is the key.

It's true that being around the right people and accepting them can be helpful. I guess my balance is a little socialisation, and much more solitude.

 

[MollyBeGood]

There is a difference Silent Bird. My loneliest times are being around people I can't seen to relate to. My happiest times are in my own company.

Hi Kiwong,
I really understand where you're coming from. I wish you could find someone to connect with though, it is a pretty amazing feeling.
I still prefer to be alone to being with people any day, but there have been a few people along the way that have shot down this theory of mine and that has been a happier time than anytime spent alone.
My ideal situation is solitude 70% and with people the rest of the time. This is when I am at my most content.
I have heard that whole being alone makes you mentally till theory, but I am not buying it all. Being with others has made me crazy!

 

[jaim38]

I agree with Kiwong. Being around people has made me mentally ill, not the other way around. I'm not just talking about former classmate bullies and neighbors, I'm also referring to a certain family member.

My ideal situation is solitude 70% and with people the rest of the time. This is when I am at my most content.

However, we need to interact with other people to survive. We need to find our own ratio of social interaction / alone time. I prefer at least 80-90% alone time.

 

[theslowesthand]

I always needed much extreme peace & quiet, and much recouperation time after people, due i guess to my hyper-sensitive (HSP), neurotic, grumpy, anxiety-ridden personality. So "peace" seemed to be my #1 motive. Escape from the sensory & mental overwhelm.

Motive #2 may have been interest: I simply was not interested in others, had no fun around people, couldn't relax, etc. I have an autism-spectrum disorder i'm sure, which meant i "related" better to left-brain stuff & objects, rather than people. Although i did relate well with pets/animals/nature.

So from that point, i found/developed more & more hobbies/interests which involved the above 2 things (as long as they had even just those, then i would find joy & meaning from doing them). And since i stayed right away from society as much as i could, these interests "blossomed" into the wonderful, paranoid, socially-phobic hermit i am today! lol :thumbup:

 

[Kiwong]

Hi Kiwong,
I really understand where you're coming from. I wish you could find someone to connect with though, it is a pretty amazing feeling.
I still prefer to be alone to being with people any day, but there have been a few people along the way that have shot down this theory of mine and that has been a happier time than anytime spent alone.
My ideal situation is solitude 70% and with people the rest of the time. This is when I am at my most content.
I have heard that whole being alone makes you mentally till theory, but I am not buying it all. Being with others has made me crazy!

Yes, connection can be a wonderful thing, April Snow, and I recognise I have that need too. I guess I feel safer trying to connect on the internet, where no one can see my anxiety. I like to share my photos, writing and thoughts on the internet, and I keep in contact with family, and those connections really help me get through the day.

In real life it is where things fall down for me. I was thinking the other day wouldn't it be great just to have friendly enjoyable conversation with someone, something as simple as that. I also have a fear of connection, often I might connect with someone, but then I fear that I will do something wrong to push them away. I've found even initial connections can become complicated, and that is frightening, I don't know how to deal with that.

 

[Kiwong]

I agree with Kiwong. Being around people has made me mentally ill, not the other way around. I'm not just talking about former classmate bullies and neighbors, I'm also referring to a certain family member.



However, we need to interact with other people to survive. We need to find our own ratio of social interaction / alone time. I prefer at least 80-90% alone time.

Same has happened to me, Jaim. My home life with my brother and sister was very uncomfortable. And I have been unlucky to experience bullying at school and in the work place. I became isolated in high school, and never recovered. I did well academically, but my social life at uni was a disaster.

And I can't survive in complete isolation either. I do interact, but in the ways I can cope with. For example I go in fun runs, and I interact with thousands of positive people, often without speaking a word to them.