Impossible to get employment!

recluse

Well-known member
Let's face it no one wants to employ a quiet, shy person do they?! Every job description asks for a confident, outgoing person.

I applied for a job online a few days ago and the questions asked whether the person can talk to people, be friendly, confident, outgoing and so on.

I'm screwed aren't i?
 

Kinetik

Well-known member
Why don't you work for yourself, online? I've been doing it for years. You have to be a little proactive with these things - think about the way you are, and realize ahead of time that you're not cut out for a regular job setup.
 

klytus

Well-known member
Well, but then it is only natural that an employer wants people who are confident enough to reasonably take risks and make the business more successful. Given a shy person and a confident one, it isn't a tough choice which one to employ.
 

Lea

Banned
I am looking online all the time, but in the end it´s the same because everybody wants outgoing people. Btw. did you people think of growing your own food :D. I guess it´s not that bad alternative, especially if you get old. (Provided you have some piece of land).
 

klytus

Well-known member
did you people think of growing your own food . I guess it´s not that bad alternative, especially if you get old. (Provided you have some piece of land).
You should protocol the amount and type of food you use for a month and then decide whether it's a feasible idea to grow it yourself.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
Let's face it no one wants to employ a quiet, shy person do they?!

You had a job before, logically you should be quite able to get another, there is a recession on, apply for many jobs, not just one and crossing fingers
 

recluse

Well-known member
I do apply for jobs just that there's not a lot to apply for. I can lie on application forms and pretend i am confident but face it as soon as the interview comes along they can see right through me, and see that i am timid and socially retarded.

A few years ago the the son of my mums cousin went for an interview for a job on a ferry to Ireland, and they told him that he didn't have ''the right personality, that they needed an outgoing, bubbly person''...It just seems that shy people have had the short straw in life, and people treat us like second rate citizens.

I don't want to be living on benefits for my whole life and the jobcentre threaten to stop payments if the person doesn't make an effort to find work, but the way things are going i just want to give up.
 

reslo

Well-known member
I do apply for jobs just that there's not a lot to apply for. I can lie on application forms and pretend i am confident but face it as soon as the interview comes along they can see right through me, and see that i am timid and socially retarded.

A few years ago the the son of my mums cousin went for an interview for a job on a ferry to Ireland, and they told him that he didn't have ''the right personality, that they needed an outgoing, bubbly person''...It just seems that shy people have had the short straw in life, and people treat us like second rate citizens.

I don't want to be living on benefits for my whole life and the jobcentre threaten to stop payments if the person doesn't make an effort to find work, but the way things are going i just want to give up.

You're only screwed if you stop trying!

I understand what you're going through! I've been unemployed for a year, then I worked briefly at a temporary job, and now I really feel like i've got to find something, lest I live at home forever. I've noticed too a lot of jobs want outgoing self starters- social anxiety can feel like a handicap, but it does not make you useless.

Finding a job process is hard for everyone- not just the socially retarded:)
So to feel anxiety/pressure/nervousness about applying for a job is actually... quite normal.

I think the important thing is to keep moving. Everyday may not be a good day, but at least try everyday. For the past week, I keep telling myself I am going to go out and apply for jobs. I haven't been able to do it yet- One day I worked on my resume. Another I drove out to a shopping area with a bunch of stores, I walked by them, but lost the nerve to walk in (even into the places that had hiring signs up- stupid, I know), but i at least know now a couple places that are hiring. And I check craigslist everyday. And it may take me a couple tries before I can get the courage to get applications, but I have to keep going.

And it sounds like you're at least trying!! Just get those applications in! it's not up to you whether or not you get the job or not- leave that up to the manager.

Make an effort each day, you will find yourself closer and closer to getting employment.

I am excruciatingly shy, and i've had seven jobs in my life. And I didn't think that I would get hired for any one of them. One job i worked at, a guy there was so shy/socially phobic, he would eat his lunch alone outside the building. Shy people do work, it's not easy, but they do~

and on the online thing, maybe you can get some income by selling things on ebay/amazon? i did that for a little while, but then i got really lazy and stopped. and plus i hated going into the post office:D
 

Off The Wall

Well-known member
It's pretty much true, i only ever got my first job because i knew the manager, then she actually left like a week after hiring me, all the other managers hated me cause i was so shy... meh too bad for them.

but seriously, i've been looking everywhere lately, and i'm like oh cool i can do this job... *Must be, out going with good communication skills* ARGHHH thats on like every single job.. you need good communication skills I HAVE NONE! makes me so mad. But then i think about it and, when i did work i know i was shy but i was good at my job, i did my job i just didn't chat to people i worked with so what, other people were shit and couldn't even do their job, but they did talk so that made them look good, but i'd rather have a shy/good worker working for me then a loud/crap worker. But i'm not hiring people so.. suck to be me. so annoying
 

cosmosis

Well-known member
It's quite possible to make money at home or online. I've created 3 viable online business's in the last 5 years. Each of them making atleast 800 to 1200 monthly US dollars. I typically use ebay first and then possibly expanding to other sites or places including your own website. It's a little harder to make money off ebay now then it was 5 years ago, but its very viable.

Here's a basic tip to get started. Go on ebay. Search any type of products you have interest in. Start by clicking a couple items and then viewing sellers other items. Most of the good ideas are somewhat hidden and not obvious. But typically if you bounce around from seller item's to other seller items you can get a feel for their business and an idea of how well its working for them. Use the 'completed listings' option to see how well each product sells. Then you have to figure out how they get those items or make them or put them together or even how you can do it better and cheaper. It requires a lot of research, but it's worth it. Many times it's just a matter of copying people you figure out are already successful on ebay.

Feel free to email or message me if you need more help on getting started cause I'm happy to help. I know how hard it is to get a job and the pain and stress of dealing with that job if you get one.
 

Lea

Banned
You should protocol the amount and type of food you use for a month and then decide whether it's a feasible idea to grow it yourself.

Well I grew up on land and we had almost everything of our own. Apples, pears, plums, wallnuts, hazelnuts, cheries, gooseberies, some vegetables, honey... We had chicken, rabbits, pidgeons, 1 goat, dogs and cats.

There was a lot of work especially with mowing all grass and haymaking. But there was usualy enough people to help - my grandparents and cousins especially. Then all the fruit harvesting in autumn, raking and burning leaves...

Every now and then we had for lunch some chicken, rabbit, young pidgeons or ducks, goose (we didn´t have our own, but there were people bringing it). We children had to pluck most of this. My relatives had sheep and bulls, a pig so they brought meat from it. We also smoked meat outside in autumn.

My uncle was a fisherman and used to bring fish, my aunt a confectioner and used to bring cakes, other relatives had a strawberry field so they brought strawberries, or poppy seeds, or dry flowers for decoration. And of course in the summer there were plenty of blueberries etc. in the forrest, mushrooms... We gave the people in exchange eggs, nuts, apples etc.

We used to buy a truckload of potatoes to store over the winter. Wood for the winter we had from fallen trees or from other sources. We had every day milk from the goat but that was for cats as it didn´t taste good and was unpasteurized. We bought milk, bread etc... just normal things as well. The thing is, there was allways a lot of people around so we helped and exchanged things mutually.

Now it´s gone to the dogs, firstly because we grew apart, grandparents died, cousins got married and moved away. Then also, the times changed, few people really bother with this when they can buy things in the shop.

Makes me think of this: people lived over the centuries in this way and it worked. Because they had no choice. They couldn´t afford to buy many things apart from what they grew and exchanged. It also worked because they kept together and did what their fathers taught them.

They did it, mostly 100 percent (because they had no choice), and didn´t question anything. They didn´t question why they were taught to do things certain way, they didn´t question whether to help their neighbour. They didn´t because THEIR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. If someone started to question, said he was not going to work of help because he didn´t like the system, he would be singeld out (because the community couldn´t afford to keep him in) and eventually died.

When I was about 16, I went ostentatively vegetarian. Told my grandparents they were mean and killing animals was wrong. I no longer helped to pluck chicken or anything else. They couldn´t understand it, wtf it has been done like this over centuries and now I come up with such a weird thing. Animals are for meat and they couldn´t understand my weird emotional attitude.

It could be said I was acting like a chain breaker but since we are no longer living in medieval times, it doesn´t matter anyway. There is TV etc., telling people rubbish, there are enough money to buy anything we want. So where is the survival. I was in fact right when I told my grandparents they didn´t need meat or at least not that much, because they didn´t. There is no hungertime, no need for survival. The meat consumption went from need to fancy in my opinion (to demonstrate it they were fat enough).

(Btw vegetarian way of life DOES work, I´ve seen it in India. But it does work provided EVERYBODY lives that way and the system is ingrained over the centuries. One person will hardly change it and if he does choose it, the society will make it hard for him if only because he receives no support..)

What I was trying to say is, old things lost it´s original meaning in today´s world. The chain got broken, because our life doesn´t depend on keeping it (or does yet? :))

People are more selfish and individualistic, also because since their birth their parents didn´t taught them anything, there was no sense of community or keeping together. Then the people don´t know where they belong, why are they here, what is the sense of it all, why work hard when everything can be had for money, why help their neighbour. Hopelesness, bullying, mental diseases, suicides are getting widespread and common. Doctors are prescribing pills that don´t work and poison the people, the food we eat is far from natural and it brings diseases..

Back to the question, I think it should be possible to grow most things on my own, if I have enough trees and a garden, some chicken for eggs... Things like rice, potatoes or peas etc. can be bought, they are dirt cheap anyway. Plus I could exchange the surplus of fruits or nuts for something else.

I would leave out the meat but it means throwing away all grass from the garden, no haymaking, no feeding animals. And a farm without animals doesn´t look happy.. Also without family and without child slaves it means doing all work myself, no help and can feel a bit lonely too.
 
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zlench

Well-known member
It is quite difficult to get employment with SA because the interview process is always a mess for me. But staying in longterm employment is something that I struggle with because I tend make mistakes when I'm nervous and just can't get it gone right.
 

Lea

Banned
OMG Lea that sounds like bliss to me!

It was kind of bliss, that´s why it was so hard to get over it when it started to fall apart. My teenage years coincided with the revolution in my country (fall of communism), plus that was also the time when my father started to drink heavily and being terribly agressive and is until now (he is a communist btw).

I´m not saying communism was good as there was a lot of control but at least it kept people in line. Today everybody is allowed everything and it becomes a dog eats dog place, the morality went down terribly. Anyway I guess the best time in our country was the time before communism, between the WW1 and WW2.
 

Predacon

Well-known member
I find working and going to interviews the most stressful of SP. I worry when I apply, I worry about going to the interview, then I start worrying about what the job will be like if I actually get it and that's on top of day to day worries like paying bills.
 

doesit

Well-known member
Let's face it no one wants to employ a quiet, shy person do they?! Every job description asks for a confident, outgoing person.

I applied for a job online a few days ago and the questions asked whether the person can talk to people, be friendly, confident, outgoing and so on.

I'm screwed aren't i?
well you could go to your gp and ask for meds then look for job :) otherwise find a job which you would be able to handle.
 

Predacon

Well-known member
I recently acquired a weekend job in hospitality in a very busy/popular restaurant, its kitchenhand, so dishwashing and helping the staff (dirty and sort of mind numbing). the banter that goes on is heirarchel, the managers and the head chefs are rutheless to the other staff in order to keep you motivated but its generally put downs and in your face. often insulting you infront of others.
you are literally forced to come face to face with people for the entire shift in a highly intense and fast paced environment. i'm finding it very difficult to start conversations with people because of the pressure to keep up with the pace and the high pressure and stress levels of the demand and all the staff interacting across the room all the time, when the manager told me that its not for the faint hearted i agreed and was given the job.
by the end of the shift i feel physically and emotionally drained and a little pathetic. the stress of the job seems to limit my ability to enjoy myself because when i do take chances to make conversation the head chefs quickley shoot you down. like "those dishes wont wash themselves" and "stop holding the bench up" ...where as if its certain people they wont mind.

i cant stand it but it pays alright for two days of work, thats the only reason im doing it. the job is messy, dirty, high pressure, you barely get a chance to take a deep breath. i'm generally very quiet and will say very little because of the pressure, im not relaxed at all in that environment.

i cant wait to get out of it to be honest. and the managers are constantly asking if i'm available for other days even tough i tell them i'm not, they ask me infront of the other staff and its sort of awkward if i have no intentions. one time i said "ok" even though i knew i had to go to college for two hours that day. it just put me on the spot and i said the opposite of what i intended and couldnt find a way to reverse my decision...

hospitality work is a complete mind ****, i might quit in the next few weeks.

You're a brave person I don't think I could handle that sort of work environment for very long.
 

sorrow1

Well-known member
one of my worst jobs ever involved kitchen work and i totally understand what you mean richey by pressuring environment. I quit mine after just two weeks though it was full time not just a few days and was absolute hell.

I found that in my job the staff that had been in the job for years got away with all sorts of shite and could stand around chatting but as soon as i did anything the boss would start shouting at me and get on my case and everytime i would try to strike up conversations i was ordered to sweep the floor or do some cleaning.

I was getting paid a load of shite and decided the lack of money wasnt worth all the hassle. theres plenty of better jobs out there and im sure you will find something else.
 

mitchellb999

Well-known member
Most jobs are about WHO you know not about what you know. Of course, if you have SA then you don't know anyone and are stuck with begging for the most undesirable jobs.
 
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