I'm so mad right now

[Falkor]

i'm mad right now
my brother, who just comes home from school
says, oh you're in home again, you really don't do anything in life
you are so isolated, you are pointless
and you live a princess's life
i said **** the hell off, i have social anxiety, this is why i hate my life
and this is not what i chose to become, I HATE IT..
he says, yeah well it's your problem
i'm really really really mad right now

He says You should go to school just like me!
I said Yeah That's what I tried but my SA has made me become like this
He said, well you're just lazy and pointless.

**** HIM **** **** **** HIM

Now he says, you should just find a job, you shouldn't get a payment, I said I have SA.... don't judge me
He said, You're just lazy... You just stay at home. I said NOOOOOO I DON'T WANT THIS, I just became this!!!

I hate being at home so he really touches my mental wound right now

 

[mikebird]

Maybe life is causing us to get grumpy already before old people are

Feel proud of your own way. You're individual and unique.

There are too many people just the same as everyone else

 

[Ignace]

I'd be outraged too If I were told that, especially if comes from family.
Is he younger or older than you are ? If it's still a kid I'm afraid he has the right to not know better.:sad:

 

[Flanscho]

Well, are you in therapy right now?

 

[nicole1]

Do you accept yourself the way you are? The more I embraced my need to stay in sometimes, and the struggles I had in life due to my SA, I was able to move forward and not care what others thought of me. You should do the same and tell people who hassle you about it to "effe off!" You know you, they don't...

 

[Hellhound]

Not to sound rude... but are you doing anything to help yourself?

Yes, you didn't choose to have that problem, I don't support your brother's attitude either, but you have the choice of looking for help to get better and be able to do things. Think about it.

 

[kihira]

I hate being at home so he really touches my mental wound right now

That must hurt so much, siblings can be the most annoying, they know which buttons to push and they're harder to get away from :thumbdown: I hope those feelings calm down for you soon :]

 

[theslowesthand]

I have found that it's best to "agree" with people, outwardly & inwardly. It greatly reduces your irritation/anger/etc. In both cases, it reduces the frustration, and therefore the suffering.

Outwardly: say 'yes, you are correct'.

Inwardly = not literally agree, but generally; say to self:
'i'm always home' (meaning "often")
'i don't do stuff-all in life, but neither does he'
'i live an very isolated life ... but that can change ... and i am doing my best'
'i am a pointless waste of space ... and so is he/they'
'i live an easy princess life ... which he is jealous of'
'i choose to have social anxiety' (not case, but say to self to see how "absurd" it sounds! and so future such comments have less bite)
'i am lazy and pointless ... just like he is' ("accept" the absurd (as "possibility", not as truth!), don't fight)

I hate being at home so he really touches my mental wound right now

Yes, these things we hate to have, hurt us the most. So we must learn to not hate as much it, but take bhuddist approach - all is perfect. And, the more we suffer, the more our soul evolve.

 

[jc972]

i'm mad right now
my brother, who just comes home from school
says, oh you're in home again, you really don't do anything in life
you are so isolated, you are pointless
and you live a princess's life
i said **** the hell off, i have social anxiety, this is why i hate my life
and this is not what i chose to become, I HATE IT..
he says, yeah well it's your problem
i'm really really really mad right now

He says You should go to school just like me!
I said Yeah That's what I tried but my SA has made me become like this
He said, well you're just lazy and pointless.

**** HIM **** **** **** HIM

Now he says, you should just find a job, you shouldn't get a payment, I said I have SA.... don't judge me
He said, You're just lazy... You just stay at home. I said NOOOOOO I DON'T WANT THIS, I just became this!!!

I hate being at home so he really touches my mental wound right now

I'd be mad too. Some people just don't understand.

 

[Odo]

This might sound really harsh, but having SA doesn't mean you should always use it as a reason you can't do anything with yourself... and to me it sounds like you're using it for that very purpose.

It's time to get tough with yourself and start trying to seriously get better so you can move out of there.

 

[A86]

grrr there's that word people like to throw around "lazy" ... as if the fear and anxiety that we live with is not real.

I know it be emotionaly difficult hearing these things but you must remember that many people have difficulty rationalizing your behavior and it's just easier for them to conceptualize their own explanations.

 

[Falkor]

Not to sound rude... but are you doing anything to help yourself?

Yes, you didn't choose to have that problem, I don't support your brother's attitude either, but you have the choice of looking for help to get better and be able to do things. Think about it.

I am getting a new psychologist in July and I signed up for school again. So I am doing some things.

I am very depressed of the fact that I am home, isolated. I've been this way since my 16th and I am now 21... How depressing..

 

[Falkor]

This might sound really harsh, but having SA doesn't mean you should always use it as a reason you can't do anything with yourself... and to me it sounds like you're using it for that very purpose.

It's time to get tough with yourself and start trying to seriously get better so you can move out of there.

I don't use it as an excuse, it's the truth that I suffer from SEVERE SA. I wish I didn't. I tell everybody it's SA that's holding me back, It's not an excuse, that would be harsh off me to do so

 

[A Many Splendored Thing]

This might sound really harsh, but having SA doesn't mean you should always use it as a reason you can't do anything with yourself... and to me it sounds like you're using it for that very purpose.

It's time to get tough with yourself and start trying to seriously get better so you can move out of there.

Fearing people in a socially focused world is like being a cripple with no wheelchair in a marathon.

 

[Odo]

Fearing people in a socially focused world is like being a cripple with no wheelchair in a marathon.

I know what it's like… I'm just saying that you need to do SOMETHING or you're never going to be happy. Staying at home without a job is probably making things much much worse.

I'm not even necessarily saying 'get over it', I'm saying 'get creative'… the more you tell yourself you can't do something, the harder it becomes to do anything.

 

[R3K]

tell him he's an over-achieving ego-stroker. tell him you can predict every boring thing he's gonna do in his lemming life :thinking:

 

[nicole1]

This might sound really harsh, but having SA doesn't mean you should always use it as a reason you can't do anything with yourself... and to me it sounds like you're using it for that very purpose.

It's time to get tough with yourself and start trying to seriously get better so you can move out of there.

A lot of people...do that... They struggle with different things based on their SA and it's not "using" it, it's how we perceive it to impact our life. And some people are simply more comfortable b/c maybe, along with having SA, they are an introvert.

I know I've pushed myself to the point of torture to try to achieve a lot of things. I'm not talking sitting at home and wishing and hoping, I'm talking about actually doing.

If this person feels the way they do, then it could be due to their SA. It doesn't sound like the poster wishes to feel this way. People have issues b/c of how SA has impacted their lives and they are entitled to that.

When someone is ready to overcome it, they will and I believe they can.

The only reason I said anything was b/c your comment was the first I really saw and didn't agree with at all. Telling someone that they are using something as an excuse for their life is the same as saying they are...faking it and are really just lazy and don't want anything in life. In my opinion. And here of all places???

 

[Luka]

I'm sorry. I find it stressful around my sibling too because she really doesn't understand at all what I have to go through. Your life is not pointless and as cheesy as it sounds if you don't know what your point in life is, then the point of your life is to find it.

 

[Odo]

A lot of people...do that... They struggle with different things based on their SA and it's not "using" it, it's how we perceive it to impact our life. And some people are simply more comfortable b/c maybe, along with having SA, they are an introvert.

I know I've pushed myself to the point of torture to try to achieve a lot of things. I'm not talking sitting at home and wishing and hoping, I'm talking about actually doing.

If this person feels the way they do, then it could be due to their SA. It doesn't sound like the poster wishes to feel this way. People have issues b/c of how SA has impacted their lives and they are entitled to that.

When someone is ready to overcome it, they will and I believe they can.

The only reason I said anything was b/c your comment was the first I really saw and didn't agree with at all. Telling someone that they are using something as an excuse for their life is the same as saying they are...faking it and are really just lazy and don't want anything in life. In my opinion. And here of all places???

1. Introverts can get jobs.
2. Good for you, but there's a right way and a wrong way to do things. If just forcing yourself to do things isn't working for you, then try something else. There are a lot of treatments... and if they don't work, find a way to work around your disability. Plenty of people have overcome their own disabilities-- I actually remembered reading a story of a woman who had acid thrown in her face, and she isn't telling herself that she can't do things.
3. Yes, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be trying to do better... and if you had read the 'parents hit me' thread as well, living at home is obviously making him miserable.
4. This is completely and utterly wrong. Are you saying that no one has ever used SA as an excuse to not do something? I have done this myself, and I've caught myself doing it. It's easy to use it as an excuse not to do anything and this in turn just makes you feel worse about yourself which in turn makes your SA worse. I'm not agreeing with his brother, I'm just saying that it's easy to get into that sort of self-defeating mindset in this kind of situation.

 

[Silencer]

You just have to stop blame your SA as if it is the reason of all problem in your life. Try to find medication and get well soon.