I'm boring!

PennyLane

PennyLane

Well-known member
I may have just had a little epiphany about my own SA. I was trying to work out what really worries me the most and I decided its that people will think I'm boring!

I realised that this might be the biggest part of my SA!

Obviously the ironic thing is my SA probably makes me even more boring :D

Hope I didn't bore you all with this ::p:
 
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fife_girl

fife_girl

Well-known member
*yawns*
haha just kidding :p I get really worried that I bore people but my best friend and my little sister love my company so i cant be that boring?
Its only your SA that makes you think that, i think people with SA are the least boring people!! So don't worry! :)
 
Sinar_Matahari

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
I personally do not think that I am boring. My friends and loved ones obviously don't think so as well as some strangers that I meet when I go out. I'm sure that there are people out there who do think so.
 
Noca

Noca

Banned
Get hobbies or occupy yourself with something other than work. I once read that talking about "work" is the most boring topic you can possibly talk about.
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
That probably is a major aspect in most people's social phobia. Either that, or some other form of "will he/she/they accept me?"

In my case, SA stems from the fact that I can't handle anything unexpected in a given situation. I experience fear when I'm thrown off in any sense of the word. Before I speak to someone or before I go somewhere, I think about precisely what I will say and do ahead of time. I seem to treat every aspect of my life; every encounter or conversation, as if it were a presentation or speech. The moment something deviates from the routine as I had it planned in my head, panic sets in. So I'm okay with buying something familiar at a store I know, for example, because I can easily predict the conversation with the cashier. But a spontaneous phone conversation with someone is often a disaster, as I can't rehearse it in my mind beforehand. I've often hung up mid-sentence during a phone call, for the simple reason that I feel the conversation is too awkward, not how I planned it, or some combination.
 
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Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
Noca said:
Get hobbies or occupy yourself with something other than work. I once read that talking about "work" is the most boring topic you can possibly talk about.
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I disagree...don't know if that makes me boring, lol. I love to hear people's work stories, especially if I can relate to them or if they have an interesting job. My bf works on an ambulance so he always has interesting work stories. My psych teacher pretty much teaches using nothing but personal work stories and I find them to be fascinating. And then my other friend worked as a cart pusher in Walmart and while it isn't exactly interesting, it was nice to meet someone with the same frustrations about customers/management.

Anyways, to the OP - I feel boring a lot, too. Casual conversations make me really nervous because I'm worried that I just don't have anything interesting to say. It's really hard to make friendships - I can get a lot of people to think I'm nice and like me, but I can't seem to create a real bond with most of them. I'm just not very talkative or witty. Or I let my social anxiety prevent me from getting close to people that I DO hit it off with, cause I'm scared they'll think I'm weird if I approach them again or ask for a phone number/IM screen name
 
K

klytus

Well-known member
I don't find myself boring. But that's certainly because I like the stuff I do, it's fun, and keeps my mind alive. Most people, however, find me boring as hell, since they simply can't relate to what I do, the way I speak, the thoughts I have, and the lifestyle I pursue. I don't blame anyone for that. It's not their fault that they are different. I have deliberately chosen a more deviant path of life - not anticipating that there won't be many people around to walk it with. Still, in retrospect, I would do it the same way, were I given a chance to change the past.

PennyLane said:
Obviously the ironic thing is my SA probably makes me even more boring
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You don't appear to be boring at all. You most definitely have countless tales to tell.

Casual conversations make me really nervous because I'm worried that I just don't have anything interesting to say.
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The casual conversations between friends and colleagues can be split into a couple of more or less disparate categories - like "what was done last weekend" and "who was the guy/girl <some guy/girl> was flirting with last time" - which makes it hard to have anything interesting to contribute, unless you were around during those activities. Stories about individual experiences are usually too complex to initiate and to tell - the interest of the person you are having the conversation with tends to die off quickly, since he/she can't emotionally relate to the told situation.

I once read that talking about "work" is the most boring topic you can possibly talk about.
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Talking about "work" is boring to those whose job is just a means to an end. People who like what they do, and would still do it, were they not given money for it, tend to be easily intrigued by work-related topics.
 
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Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
5020 said:
I feel boring too. Anyone else feel annoying to?
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Yeah...more irritating than annoying, though. I have a bad habit of complaining about something when I get really anxious during a conversation (which is all of em) - I don't know why. I try to stop the minute I realize I start doing it but it makes me feel like I just made myself look like a sourface.
 
funnybunny

funnybunny

Member
Yep I feel boring too sometimes but then I have to remind myself that "boring" is subjective. Everyone is going to have a different idea of whats boring and whats not. What someone else finds boring, I might not.

Thats what I tell myself anyway lol
 
Justas

Justas

1
Yes, I am. I know I'm boring, people who knows me say that to me. Because I sit all day long at my computer and I have no hobby or smth.
 
Lorraine Manca

Lorraine Manca

Well-known member
theres a difference between being boring and just having different interests from most people. Most important, you dont have to entertain anyone!!!! You have no obligation or responsibility to provide anyone with entertainment. this realization was really great. i used to have a friend that was always around, all the time, and it really stressed me out until i realized i really had no obligation to be an interesting person. so, you know, just remember, you arent a clown. if you arent getting paid, you dont have to put on a show.

i know i can be annoying. haven't figured out a solution to that one. i think its like the opposite of ADD, where your attention span is too long, i dont know
 
I

IJustWantMyLifeBack

Well-known member
I feel boring because my SA stops me from having doing anything... I might start up a group in Sydney for people to come too and over come this feeling..

but then maybe no one would come because it's boring..
 
PennyLane

PennyLane

Well-known member
recluse said:
I feel boring because my sa stops me from having fun and expressing myself.
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I think this is the closest to how I feel. I can never let loose, have fun, relax...I always look in control and stiff. I hate it.

I know theres a girl inside me thats funny and playful...but she takes so long to come out.

Even if I'm having fun, I don't express it that well on the outside
 
I

IJustWantMyLifeBack

Well-known member
yep I'm in side a fish bowl watching the world go by thinking, I wish i was there laughing and talking to this person or eating at that place or just being relaxed..
 
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