thegunners21
Well-known member
Yeah, I was hoping everyone would overlook that comment...move along, there's nothing to see here.
There's a bambi to see here
I'm 17 and never had a girlfriend
- Thread starter Thatguyk
- Start date
There's a bambi to see here
This article is remarkably good.
Alas, the people who need to read it most are not likely too, as usual.
Nice Guy Syndrome: What it is and why you should kill it with fire - Caveman Circus | Caveman Circus
I found this quote about why women can react as they do particularly interesting:
"I don’t want to make this into more than it is, but I think many men fail to grasp exactly how uncomfortable and, potentially, vulnerable a woman can feel in the face of persistent attention, flattery, and the like.
It flies in the face of years and years of social conditioning to tell an outwardly “nice” man – one who has in no way technically threatened, harassed, or intimidated you – to “get the fcuk away, I’m not interested.” It’s one thing to tell off the drunk who’s trying to cop a feel on the subway (and even that isn’t always easy). But rejecting the friend who just won’t stop hanging around looking for more? It’s not a simple situation.
So, many women just don’t do it. Especially confident and assertive women can do it easily, but even a woman without self-esteem problems could understandably find it difficult to be ruthlessly direct in that situation. All too often, we opt for subtlety instead."
Alas, the people who need to read it most are not likely too, as usual.
Nice Guy Syndrome: What it is and why you should kill it with fire - Caveman Circus | Caveman Circus
I found this quote about why women can react as they do particularly interesting:
"I don’t want to make this into more than it is, but I think many men fail to grasp exactly how uncomfortable and, potentially, vulnerable a woman can feel in the face of persistent attention, flattery, and the like.
It flies in the face of years and years of social conditioning to tell an outwardly “nice” man – one who has in no way technically threatened, harassed, or intimidated you – to “get the fcuk away, I’m not interested.” It’s one thing to tell off the drunk who’s trying to cop a feel on the subway (and even that isn’t always easy). But rejecting the friend who just won’t stop hanging around looking for more? It’s not a simple situation.
So, many women just don’t do it. Especially confident and assertive women can do it easily, but even a woman without self-esteem problems could understandably find it difficult to be ruthlessly direct in that situation. All too often, we opt for subtlety instead."
sullyS25
Well-known member
Congratulations. You have time to learn about yourself which is much more important. A lot of the relationships that I had BEFORE I was 17 have affected my relationship that I am in now. I didn't know who I was nor did I love myself and that played out in relationships that broke my heart.
Maybe accepting the fact that you havent had a girlfriend and that you have troubles talking to females and taking it from there. Playing the helpless victim will result in suffering 100 % of the time. Sorry if that comes off as too blunt and/or mean but it is true.
Maybe accepting the fact that you havent had a girlfriend and that you have troubles talking to females and taking it from there. Playing the helpless victim will result in suffering 100 % of the time. Sorry if that comes off as too blunt and/or mean but it is true.
Falkor
1
When I was 16, I felt the same way. I thought I'd never find a girl who truly loves me, but believe me, love is there to be found. I know it's painful to be patient, but you have to spent your time on other things as well than relationships. Maybe find a nice hobby, meet with your school friends, go out (if you are the type for going out), play nice games, do other stuff to enjoy and when you go somewhere where people are, could eventually lead to a relationship, but friends are nice too.
It will be fine, and you are 17 years old, that's so young and the big mean guys are not worth your time to compare yourself to, the caring ones are the most beautiful people, so don't worry you will be loved.
It will be fine, and you are 17 years old, that's so young and the big mean guys are not worth your time to compare yourself to, the caring ones are the most beautiful people, so don't worry you will be loved.
fate12321
Well-known member
im 17 too except i dated like back then when i was 14 my first girlfriend, believe me that relationship only lasted about 5 months before i found out she was cheating on me i was hurt. since then i haven't dated, theirs a few girls out here that like me but i prefer to leave them alone, in a 2 1/2 months ill gradate so there's no point in dating these immature girls, just some advice make the best of high school, do something that will benefit you in the future take AP courses for starters, don't worry there plenty of girls out there.
spearhunter
Well-known member
I am 26 and never had a girlfriend, so welcome to the club.
SilentBird
Well-known member
Having a girlfriend didn't change what I felt deep down about myself and my life.
Whoa, not all girls like guys to treat them like crap, that would be a number one turn off for me! Although I do agree popularity is a bunch of BS, especially in high school. All I can tell you is that getting a girlfriend doesn't define who you are, you should go out with someone because you like them and vice versa, not because society is pressuring you too. If you're a nice guy, which you are, the right person will come along.
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montejocarlo
Well-known member
i wonder where this leaves me, seeing that i'm 22 & i NEVER had a boyfriend. lol
I never had a boyfriend until I met my boyfriend in 2011 and we are still together, I am turning 21 next month!. Do not worry about it. I am glad I waited for him, I feel as though he is the only one that understands me and my awkwardness and quietness which is funny cause he is so loud and outgoing but when I am with him I feel loud and outgoing too. I have such a good time with him and I am glad I waited. I was like you growing up as a teenager, I always thought I was ugly and that I was going to die a crazy cat lady but my boyfriend came along and we just clicked, it has made me forget bout all the times I looked in the mirror and thought nobody would love me. The right person will come along and you'll be glad you waited, someone who loves you for you and accepts all your social flaws. I know it feels like a big deal at the moment but trust me, someone will come along and you will instantly know. If you are that upset try dating sites online they are a great way to meet people and some of my friends met that way!. It also allows you to talk to people until you feel comfortable enough to meet them!.
shazbck
New member
i think that you should give yourself more credit than you give yourself at present.what makes you think that you are a loser??
god!! you are just 17!!
the thing with low self esteem is that you can always change that around and instead of craving for other people's attention focus on what you can do to make yourself feel good about you.there is so much more to life than you think about right now
god!! you are just 17!!
the thing with low self esteem is that you can always change that around and instead of craving for other people's attention focus on what you can do to make yourself feel good about you.there is so much more to life than you think about right now
Daniel089
Well-known member
I'll be 24 and actually never really had a girlfriend Talking to girls is really not a big deal. I was like you 6 months ago. I registered on a dating site the 2nd girl I met, we were "together" for like 1,5 weeks or so, but she wasn't into me after all... Now I'm dating someone else from the site, and who knows what will happen. It's not a big deal talking to girls, since it's the best if you actually listen to them, and understand them most of the time. And of course you have to say stuff about yourself, but definately not all the time... It's easier than you think, since if you date a sweet and intelligent girl, it won't matter to her at all if you have a big social life or not, believe me!
twiggle
Well-known member
Hi OP,
"I'm 17 and never had a girlfriend"
Alternatively think about those people your age who do and consider all the other rubbish that they'll probably have to put up with in their teenage years - arguments with their other half, heart-breaking break-ups, worrying all the time if they don't receive a reply to the message they sent their gf....
Yes relationships can be great but I think the problem here is that you're only seeing a glorified side of them. They can also be hard work which tbh, in your teenage years, you're better off without.
And if the relationships you're currently aware of do stick together, and lead to marriage etc, are you sure you'd want it that way anyway? Unlike them, you can enjoy the rest of your youth, enjoy your freedom, work hard and play harder, travel the world and live your own life before conjoining with somebody else. You'll be a MUCH better person for it.
The trick is to find other things to be interested in, then you won't have as much of a reliance on relationships as a self-verification tool.
"I'm 17 and never had a girlfriend"
Alternatively think about those people your age who do and consider all the other rubbish that they'll probably have to put up with in their teenage years - arguments with their other half, heart-breaking break-ups, worrying all the time if they don't receive a reply to the message they sent their gf....
Yes relationships can be great but I think the problem here is that you're only seeing a glorified side of them. They can also be hard work which tbh, in your teenage years, you're better off without.
And if the relationships you're currently aware of do stick together, and lead to marriage etc, are you sure you'd want it that way anyway? Unlike them, you can enjoy the rest of your youth, enjoy your freedom, work hard and play harder, travel the world and live your own life before conjoining with somebody else. You'll be a MUCH better person for it.
The trick is to find other things to be interested in, then you won't have as much of a reliance on relationships as a self-verification tool.
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mikebird
Banned
I've been there. It took a decade to be told that girls do anything for a man who earns the most. A friend moaned about this carrot / stick and their two daughters situation. It helps me when others get disappointed for the same reason. My target missus was the social oracle of the town and I was the grad international earner for many years. The cruellest pivot was being alone when she skipped to a closer man of our group to have family. All problems stemmed from there when HR asked about the missus to provide the reason to get rid of me. The question 'what do friends say about you?' is a clearly manufactured tactic to steer away from any 'fiancee / wife / husband' question.
Best answer is 'my other half loves me' That's all you need (never attempted) to trick the plankton
Maybe a forged PDF marriage certificate would mean a perfect job forever.
