I want out of this life..

Helmaninquiel

Well-known member
#1
Seriously I am so done with everyone and myself.. People are so selfish it makes my skin crawl. And as for myself well that's even more complicated. lol I won't try anything new for fear of rejection, I'm stuck in the house all the time because I hate change and I don't want to be pushed into something I don't want to do. I couldn't even imagin hanging out with kids my age, going to parties and having a good time cause I know that I would feel completely out of place and make my self feel even more like an alian. I can't be in a serious relationship for serval reasons, 1. I need to get out and find the guy.. 2. I'm so messed up that he would chatch on fast and mostly likely leave. And 3. I've tried it didn't work. I sit day in and day out in my tiny little box and wish for everything to end, what kind of life is that?
 

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
#2
Seriously I am so done with everyone and myself.. People are so selfish it makes my skin crawl. And as for myself well that's even more complicated. lol I won't try anything new for fear of rejection, I'm stuck in the house all the time because I hate change and I don't want to be pushed into something I don't want to do. I couldn't even imagin hanging out with kids my age, going to parties and having a good time cause I know that I would feel completely out of place and make my self feel even more like an alian. I can't be in a serious relationship for serval reasons, 1. I need to get out and find the guy.. 2. I'm so messed up that he would chatch on fast and mostly likely leave. And 3. I've tried it didn't work. I sit day in and day out in my tiny little box and wish for everything to end, what kind of life is that?
hey do you want to talk, I am on now
 

Roman Legion

Well-known member
#3
Seriously I am so done with everyone and myself.. People are so selfish it makes my skin crawl. And as for myself well that's even more complicated. lol I won't try anything new for fear of rejection, I'm stuck in the house all the time because I hate change and I don't want to be pushed into something I don't want to do. I couldn't even imagin hanging out with kids my age, going to parties and having a good time cause I know that I would feel completely out of place and make my self feel even more like an alian. I can't be in a serious relationship for serval reasons, 1. I need to get out and find the guy.. 2. I'm so messed up that he would chatch on fast and mostly likely leave. And 3. I've tried it didn't work. I sit day in and day out in my tiny little box and wish for everything to end, what kind of life is that?

Not everyone is as self-centred as you think, people like you and I are out there, we just never leave the house so the probability of running into eachother is minimal at best. I don't have the answers, I really don't because I often feel tired of myself and I am pressured into things I don't want to do because of a stupid contract with the Army (Ending in a year.). I hang out with a guy in his 40's (Mind you, I'm 22.) and we get along because we are like minded as are you, people my own age I find no common ground and generally stay away, unless I have no choice. Just do your own thing and forget everyone else—Yes, I am aware how hard it can be, but we must strive to overcome the fear. I stopped attempting to date in person back in high school as perpetual rejection causes fear of said rejection.What kind of life is yours? Very similar to mine, only way I usually get out is via the internet and every so often making a commentary video on youtube. I'm online if you want to talk.
 
#4
I feel the same way. I can't go out and socialize at parties and bars or whatever because the way people treat each other makes me sick. If I have to act a certain way or be a different person when I'm out to fit in with others then that's something I am not willing to participate in. I am myself and if people don't like me for it that's just the way it is. So just try and stay positive sooner or later you will find someone or something to fit in with and be accepted. Most of the time it is a complete surprise.
 

Flanscho

Well-known member
#5
If you don't like parties, why would you want to go to some?

I don't like parties either. It took me a decade to build up my circle of friends. Two days ago, I met with two friends, and we went to a swimming hall, and afterwards we munched salad while watching a movie.

Yesterday, I met a friend, and we cooked some yummy dinner together.

I like that. I don't like parties. So I do this instead of parties. I don't see there a problem.

And a serious relationship? You should first do one thing, then another. First become (mostly) content with yourself, and improve the situation you are in. Once you have done that, you could look for a partner. Searching a partner while you are constantly unhappy won't work out.
 

crazycatlady27

Well-known member
#6
i think most of the people on here feel like that sometimes, and i dont think you will find any of us at a party lol
have you been to the docs to ask if there is anything that they can help with, you might need counselling, maybe talking to someone might help, there are other ways of meeting people than having to go out, so you will find someone one day, and if my husband can put up with my weirdness then there is someone out there for you so dont give up
 
#7
I know how you feel (I think).

It's all about two things from what I've learned: 1) Over-sensitivity, 2) Comfort Zone.

The reason a lot with SAD think people are *******s is that we're usually way too sensitive, putting meaning in things that are just part of the "normal" social world, that others don't see. Because we're this sensitive, we retreat into our heads after some initial bombardments, and suddenly we're detached from the world, watching it on distance. Then we think it's "their world", and we create our own safety zone, for example our house, or the closest people around us.

Now... Unless one is happy in this situation, one has to try to combat it. I've been lucky enough to find friends and a girlfriend, that I can keep in my comfort zone. But I still have a problem in relation to the outside world, and how I interpret it emotionally. And when I for example bring friends/girlfriend "outside" with me, it messes me up inside and can become very confusing. What I'm trying to say is that there are two parts here: Everyone needs other people, but even though you find friends to fit in your comfort zone, I don't think anyone can be happy until they understand and accept their position as a sensitive person in the outside world, and try to place emotions that are relevant another place than oversensitive emotions.

It's a fine balance accepting One's oversensitivity and loving it, side by side with struggling to create more harmony between yourself and the world. But I believe that if One can only be comfortable within the safety zone, it creates a wall that just grows bigger and bigger and in the end One can't be happy like that IMO. Just comfortable. The fact that everyone in here IS actually here, means that we all aknowledge that we need others, but the PC is indeed a safety zone for communication where everything's kept at distance.
 
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#8
I don't do parties either,but I would love to have more friends and hang out and when I say hang out,I don't mean bars or parties,I mean watching a movie together,grabbing something to eat...pray to god that hell send u some answers,I prayed that ill get over my social anxiety and he led me to this place,reading u guys posts are helping tremedously,just talking on here and reading simliar situations are making me feel so much better
 

recluse

Well-known member
#9
I hate how extroversion is deemed as normal whereas introversion is a sin. I hate it more when extroverts try to change introverts to be outgoing grrrrrrr!:thumbdown:

I hate parties too and any situation which involves a large number of people socializing. I hate having to fake being hapoy and outgoing.
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
#10
Helmaninquiel

It sounds like a lot of the issues you are having have to do with having lost hopes, because of disbelief that things are possible.. For instance a relationship. Maybe you just haven't found the right person? There are people out there who are capable of understanding where your coming from, who will want to be there for you. People who won't judge or compare you or want to leave. Maybe it's a matter of finding somebody who has been through hard times, also, or is also currently fighting out of one.

I really wish my words had more power to help your situation. It's as if that short little paragraph you wrote summed up how I've been feeling tonight absolutely perfectly. I guess all I can say is... don't push yourself to have anything more than you currently want. Push all of those shoulds out of your head and all the prospects of what the future could be, and focus on the little things that you might want TOMORROW... Maybe something as simple as a walk, a phone call with a friend, even time reading a book or playing your favorite game. If looking for a relationship feels unstable and daunting because of doubts, let yourself agree that you don't want one right now, and that eventually you will want it badly enough to put aside these fears and say What the heck, i'll try once more. But for now, maybe it's not as bad as it seems... maybe you need to let yourself take a break from worrying about you might not have and focus more on just, tomorrow. Make tomorrow a little better by doing one tiny thing that will help you feel better.

I posted this here before... but it always helps me to feel better when I begin to fear that I'll never feel good enough to have a relationship or friends that feel as close to me as I do to them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

Hugs and I really hope you feel better tomorrow, or maybe the next day, or the next. Feelings fluctuate :) there are always good moments in comparison to other moments. What was that quote by Homer Simpson I just heard on the Simpsons... When there is nothing left to believe in, believe in hope.
 

Flanscho

Well-known member
#11
I hate how extroversion is deemed as normal whereas introversion is a sin. I hate it more when extroverts try to change introverts to be outgoing grrrrrrr!:thumbdown:
You sound really negative.

I never heard anyone say that introversion is a sin, or anything even close to that.

And when some friends ask me "hey, wanna join us on that festival? Come oooon, it will be fun!", I don't consider that either as evil extroverts trying to assimiliate introverts, but rather as friends wanting to have more friends come along for a good time.
 

LifeInternal88

Well-known member
#12
Seriously I am so done with everyone and myself.. People are so selfish it makes my skin crawl.
Hey. I don't think you should be so negative about other people. "Some" people are selfish, yes...but there are a lot of good people.

I sit day in and day out in my tiny little box and wish for everything to end, what kind of life is that?
I think stop sitting and start by doing something. Something that will empower you. Try a short course, a new hobby, some phyical activity. Just start doing something, anything. It's the sameness, day in day out that makes you so empty.

I thought Flanscho's answer was a good one...

If you don't like parties, why would you want to go to some?

I don't like parties either. It took me a decade to build up my circle of friends. Two days ago, I met with two friends, and we went to a swimming hall, and afterwards we munched salad while watching a movie.

Yesterday, I met a friend, and we cooked some yummy dinner together.

I like that. I don't like parties. So I do this instead of parties. I don't see there a problem.

And a serious relationship? You should first do one thing, then another. First become (mostly) content with yourself, and improve the situation you are in. Once you have done that, you could look for a partner. Searching a partner while you are constantly unhappy won't work out.
^You've got the right approach. It seems you've tailored your life to fit your personality.
 
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hardy

Well-known member
#13
There is a saying in Buddhism.."human life is very precious".....and one is born a human only when he/she has done some REALLY good deeds in the past.

Who once was heedless,
but later is not,
brightens the world
like the moon set free from a cloud.

His evil-done deed
is replaced with skillfulness:
he brightens the world
like the moon set free from a cloud.

"Bear with it, brahman! Bear with it!
-- Buddha
 

NP88

Well-known member
#14
I've wanted to die many times when I was younger. Given certain opportunities it probably would of happened. Now the feelings and thoughts I had then that led me to think life wasn't for me have faded and become irrelevant.

What changed for me is that I grew and allowed myself to see some of the good in the world. Since the thoughts of suicide and today, about 6 years, I've done so many things, learned so much about the world about life, have had people love me, hate me, have pride in me, need me, trust in me, ton's of good times with family and a few with friends. I've seen the good in people, I've had relationships, I've laughed I've cried, I've loved I've lost, I've even got myself an awesome dog who loves me to death etc. etc. The list goes on. All this done while having social anxiety and a very similar situation to yours. Things just happen when you least expect them to. Point being life may not be great now, but that doesn't mean there isn't good things for you out there and that you can't achieve a comfortable level of happiness. Infinitely more so than if you were dead.

Also to add as far as relationships go I find it's better to work yourself up to a point where your happy enough with yourself to be able to take that on. Personally, I'm just not there yet socially and I accept that, as nice as it would be. Not that I haven't been or never will be currently it just wouldn't work out and would probably cause more harm than good. My opinion at least.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
#15
I hate how extroversion is deemed as normal whereas introversion is a sin. I hate it more when extroverts try to change introverts to be outgoing grrrrrrr!:thumbdown:

I hate parties too and any situation which involves a large number of people socializing. I hate having to fake being hapoy and outgoing.
Im sorry you feel this way but who says you have to fake being happy and outgoing? Where does this assumption come from?
 

Section_31

Well-known member
#17
Im sorry you feel this way but who says you have to fake being happy and outgoing? Where does this assumption come from?
I kinda of empathise with this a bit...

In my experience there are 2 type of non introvert ppl...

group 1. A group of ppl who try to encourage you to be social, in a nice way, but who will also understand if your jsut too shy for somthing.

group 2. They'll also encourage you to be sociable but write you off or label you as wierd in a social circle if you dont become sociable.

That said im more vulcan about it, i simply dont care, but i used to feel the same type of anger.
 
#18
I hate how extroversion is deemed as normal whereas introversion is a sin. I hate it more when extroverts try to change introverts to be outgoing grrrrrrr!:thumbdown:
It seems to be part of the "package-deal" with extroverts - includes over-confident, over-assertive, think they are superior & better, think their way is best. Introverts have ego's too, but perhaps with extroverts they express/show it more?
 
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