I want out of this life..

Fighter86

Well-known member
Well, whether you believe there is an afterlife or not entirely depends on your religion. With thousands of religions, you can never be sure what happens.


To be honest I don't believe in it. Then someone says to me 'how do you explain the existance of ghosts and spirits then?' That got to me I now think there actually is an afterlife. I can't imagine after this horrible life of my ends I need to go on to another 'life'.
 

recluse

Well-known member
Im sorry you feel this way but who says you have to fake being happy and outgoing? Where does this assumption come from?

some examples are when someone is not smiling for a second or not talking and another person instantly tells them to lighten up. Another is job adverts always wanting bubbly outgoing people. Another is people forcing another to go on the dance floor or sing karaeoke when it makes them uncomfortable.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
some examples are when someone is not smiling for a second or not talking and another person instantly tells them to lighten up. Another is job adverts always wanting bubbly outgoing people. Another is people forcing another to go on the dance floor or sing karaeoke when it makes them uncomfortable.

Yes, there are people that want you to be like them, I accept that but not everyone is and it seems like you are only concentrating on the ones that do that. I can assure you there are just as many people that dont tell you to lighten up when you arent smiling but you only focus on the ones that DO tell you to.

I have been in many situations where there were people like that and I was comfortable in not getting on the dance floor or singing karaoke and I was confident about my decision and it worked out and they accepted me for who I was because I accepted myself.

It is the same with the job adverts. If you are applying for a job where you have to deal with people then of course they will want bubbly personalities because they want there customers to feel comfortable with whoever they are dealing with.

THere are also jobs that dont give two shi ts if you have a bubbly personality or not. There are PLENTY of them. They are jobs where you dont have to deal with the public. Once again you are focusing on the ones that DO require a bubbly personality.

If you believe people expect you to be outgoing and bubbly your reality will manifest it that way because thats all you will concentrate on. I dont think people expect me to be outgoing or bubbly because Im not and Im comfortable with that and I accept it.
 

Lea

Banned
Yes, there are people that want you to be like them, I accept that but not everyone is and it seems like you are only concentrating on the ones that do that. I can assure you there are just as many people that dont tell you to lighten up when you arent smiling but you only focus on the ones that DO tell you to.

I have been in many situations where there were people like that and I was comfortable in not getting on the dance floor or singing karaoke and I was confident about my decision and it worked out and they accepted me for who I was because I accepted myself.

It is the same with the job adverts. If you are applying for a job where you have to deal with people then of course they will want bubbly personalities because they want there customers to feel comfortable with whoever they are dealing with.

THere are also jobs that dont give two shi ts if you have a bubbly personality or not. There are PLENTY of them. They are jobs where you dont have to deal with the public. Once again you are focusing on the ones that DO require a bubbly personality.

If you believe people expect you to be outgoing and bubbly your reality will manifest it that way because thats all you will concentrate on. I dont think people expect me to be outgoing or bubbly because Im not and Im comfortable with that and I accept it.

The vast majority of jobs want people who are "bubbly" - even where you wouldn´t expect that, like stacking shelves in a supermarket. Because in every job you deal with people to some extent, even if it´s not public service. Outgoing and energetic (etc blablabla) people are definitely preferred everywhere, and I´m not saying that because I am a complainer.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
The vast majority of jobs want people who are "bubbly" - even where you wouldn´t expect that, like stacking shelves in a supermarket. Because in every job you deal with people to some extent, even if it´s not public service. Outgoing and energetic (etc blablabla) people are definitely preferred everywhere, and I´m not saying that because I am a complainer.

I disagree, a computer programmer doesnt need to be bubbly nor does someone stacking shelves, that is your distorted perception at work. If supermarkets only hired people to stack shelves that had a bubbly personality they would have troubles finding employees because every person ive met that stocks the aisles at a supermarket didnt necessarily have a bubbly personality. Neither did the cashiers, the butchers, or the bakers. You are taking one ad you might have seen that asks for a bubbly personality and applying it to all of them.

We all do it, especially people with social phobia. We have one experience and think it applies to every aspect of our lives when in reality it was just that ONE experience out of the thousands we have each day. As social phobia sufferers or sufferers of depression we seem to only concentrate on the bad parts or the parts that make us feel separate or appart when the reality of the situation is that it isn't like that.

Im shy and not outgoing around strangers yet I am happy because I accept myself for that. I tend to be shy and unsure of myself around strangers, great. Now I am aware of it and im not resisting it, I am going along with it and trying to change the parts I dont like and accept the ones Im ok with.
 

Lea

Banned
I disagree, a computer programmer doesnt need to be bubbly nor does someone stacking shelves, that is your distorted perception at work. If supermarkets only hired people to stack shelves that had a bubbly personality they would have troubles finding employees because every person ive met that stocks the aisles at a supermarket didnt necessarily have a bubbly personality. Neither did the cashiers, the butchers, or the bakers. You are taking one ad you might have seen that asks for a bubbly personality and applying it to all of them.

We all do it, especially people with social phobia. We have one experience and think it applies to every aspect of our lives when in reality it was just that ONE experience out of the thousands we have each day. As social phobia sufferers or sufferers of depression we seem to only concentrate on the bad parts or the parts that make us feel separate or appart when the reality of the situation is that it isn't like that.

Im shy and not outgoing around strangers yet I am happy because I accept myself for that. I tend to be shy and unsure of myself around strangers, great. Now I am aware of it and im not resisting it, I am going along with it and trying to change the parts I dont like and accept the ones Im ok with.

I was once refused job stacking shelves precisely because of that, they said that even this is a job with people. I know what you´re trying to say, but I am not so stupid I know what I am saying too. I am not a person who always tries to look at the negative, but when you´re running into the same situation over and over again in the course of looking for work, or actually even working, it probably isn´t a coincidence or just something in your head. That´s a reality. Of course it is possible eventually to find something where you don´t need social skills, but you have to look extra hard and face the frustration being X times rejected because of not being the suitable personality. Btw if you have some special skills in something, I think it makes up for social skills so these ppl are lucky. Unfortunately I don´t have any but that´s just me. Btw I am not wondering most jobs want people with these traits and not the opposite, everyone only wants the best, but sometimes it´s a bit ridiculously exchaggerated IMO. They should accept that people have various personalities but that doesn´t mean when they´re different that they are automatically bad.. I think everyone who wants to work should be given a chance.. But again it is hard in the time of unemployment when they have like 100 applicants, so they are spoiled for choice..
And sometimes you know yourself even much better that you´re not the suitable personality for particular jobs (in fact the majority in my case). Cashier, waiter, receptionist etc.. I couldn´t do that.
 

Flanscho

Well-known member
To be honest I don't believe in it. Then someone says to me 'how do you explain the existance of ghosts and spirits then?' That got to me I now think there actually is an afterlife. I can't imagine after this horrible life of my ends I need to go on to another 'life'.

Well, I think that everyone should do whatever he wants to, if it makes him/her happy, and as long as noone is hurt that way. So, if people want to believe in an afterlife, then that's perfectly fine with me, and I see no reason why I should try to convince them not to.

If I'm asked for my opinion on that matter, however, I explain my opinion of course. Which is in this matter, that there is no single proof for ghosts and spirits. There is a reward of several million $, that anyone can claim, who can prove the existence of ghosts/spirits, or who can prove that he/she has an ability, that one would consider supernatural, such as telekinesis, telepathy, seeing the future, and so on. That prize exists since decades. Noone ever fetched it. I think that says a lot. Go there, proof it, get a few million $. And for decades, of the 7 billion people on earth, no single one did that.
 

hoddesdon

Well-known member
I know how you feel (I think).

It's all about two things from what I've learned: 1) Over-sensitivity, 2) Comfort Zone.

The reason a lot with SAD think people are *******s is that we're usually way too sensitive, putting meaning in things that are just part of the "normal" social world, that others don't see. Because we're this sensitive, we retreat into our heads after some initial bombardments, and suddenly we're detached from the world, watching it on distance. Then we think it's "their world", and we create our own safety zone, for example our house, or the closest people around us.

Now... Unless one is happy in this situation, one has to try to combat it. I've been lucky enough to find friends and a girlfriend, that I can keep in my comfort zone. But I still have a problem in relation to the outside world, and how I interpret it emotionally. And when I for example bring friends/girlfriend "outside" with me, it messes me up inside and can become very confusing. What I'm trying to say is that there are two parts here: Everyone needs other people, but even though you find friends to fit in your comfort zone, I don't think anyone can be happy until they understand and accept their position as a sensitive person in the outside world, and try to place emotions that are relevant another place than oversensitive emotions.

It's a fine balance accepting One's oversensitivity and loving it, side by side with struggling to create more harmony between yourself and the world. But I believe that if One can only be comfortable within the safety zone, it creates a wall that just grows bigger and bigger and in the end One can't be happy like that IMO. Just comfortable. The fact that everyone in here IS actually here, means that we all aknowledge that we need others, but the PC is indeed a safety zone for communication where everything's kept at distance.

This is very good. Over-sensitivity is an issue, although there are some people who are as the OP describes, and very few people are incapable of it if under enough stress. This is the sort of insight which is worthwhile and is scattered through this site.
 
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