EgoZero
Well-known member
You couldn't help me anyways.Okay forget it dude, Im sick and tired of trying to help people with CBT methods that you have to pay a proffessional for, only to have them scough at me. Forget I tired to help.
You couldn't help me anyways.Okay forget it dude, Im sick and tired of trying to help people with CBT methods that you have to pay a proffessional for, only to have them scough at me. Forget I tired to help.
Well do you think I would be whining here like a little bitch before trying what you said? Believe me I tried a lot of things, I had alot of hobbies. I do stuff like multimedia arts, makign websites, working out, learning to drive and so on. I still am doing all that shit, but I can't enjoy anything, I got sick and tired of everything. I lack motivation to continue doing anything, to continue progressing my skills, I had made huge progress in these things, but I just can't enjoy them anymore. It seems like I can't enjoy life anymore, I don't want anything, I don't wait for anything in the future. I see just dull and empty life that is worthless.Hi EgoZero and 206Raider. Okay this might sound a bit silly but give it a go. Pick a cool hobby, something that you've always wanted to learn, like how to play guitar to a high standard.
The thing with hobbies is that gaining the skill is all completely in your control, all you do is practice and practice, learn how to fix this mistake how to do that, throw your guitar down on the ground and get pissed off, and then the next morning the feeling of frustration has cleared and you are ready to pick up your guitar and master that tune dammit!! ^_^
The reason I suggest this is that you begin to learn skills in small ways that transfer over into other areas of life such as perseverence, not giving up, pushing yourself to do something your scared you will mess up etc etc.
And all the while, you are having loads of fun (because it's a fun hobby that inspires you) and the increasing levels of skill you gain and the finished product you have to show for it gives you such a self esteem boost.
For me I have learned how to knit from scratch, (don't laugh, but it was something I had always wanted to learn!!) and am starting a complicated sweater after a year of learning to knit and pesevering through thinking I would never get good enough.
Learning this skill has helped to show me, that I can make things happen if i want to.
Also, I think it might be worth it as an investment in yourself, to pay a coach or counsellor that will always be encouraging and will model positive attitudes and encourage you to go for that thing you may be avoiding. You have to choose a coach carefully though and it should be the right person for you and someone you feel like you can work with.
The repetition does seem to sink into your brain. I think repetition is very much key for learning new behaviours.
I read the askmen. com and everyone there is always like "take responsibilty for yourself" "take action" "stop complaining" to everyone there, but in a good way. (Btw these are all thing that I do A LOT!) but from reading the askmen board and hearing these comments over and over, I've begun to think twice before doing these things. So I think that yeah reading a good board for becoming more in control of your life will help too. As it will repeat the same ideas over and over, and your brain will take note.
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How can you know that?@hug@
no you don't you Are a beautiful person;(
I suck at life so much it's even hard to explain. I have SA, depression, HH, probably OCD, BBD and some other ****ed up problems. I've never fully achieved any of my goals, because I fail at most of the things no matter how hard I try. I also have no self-discipline, no self-confidence, no self-esteem. I mostly waste all of my time by doing nothing now. I'm a lame and weak person, I can't accept myself, I can't overcome myself, I can't leave my comfort zone, I can't change my way of thinking. My mind is ****ed up, I'm a clumsy loser, I'm not worth anything, I'm useless piece of shit, I hate myself. I can't enjoy anything anymore. I know that I'll never be happy and life is already over for me.
And as you can see I'm such a pathetic crybaby...
How can you know that?
I wish i could hug you right now. I feel exactly the same way.
yeah I was having a bad day mogs, not saying I won't have more days like that but I do want a hobby, the funny thing is I don't even know what sounds fun anymore, I used to play basketball as a kid and loved it but I was more into shooting around not playing a game even though I was one fo the better players on the team becuase I hate how people get so pissed if you miss a shot or something and I'm just not into basketball anymore anyway, I did play flag football last year a couple times and I dropped a couple passes and somebody called me a useless player I shook it off and kept playing and made some nice plays but wtf we all just having fun, and people take it so seriously and I left becuase I have a problem with people like that, if I stay I will get into a fight becuase I can't control my temper with people who do that. Like one time at work in a warehouse on my first day some grumpy old dude called me stupid mfer cause I didn't know how to operate something that nobody ever showed me...I told him to shut the hell up and got in trouble but other people who worked in there told me it's cool that that guy is a weirdo but I can't stand people like that.
Well do you think I would be whining here like a little bitch before trying what you said? Believe me I tried a lot of things, I had alot of hobbies. I do stuff like multimedia arts, makign websites, working out, learning to drive and so on. I still am doing all that shit, but I can't enjoy anything, I got sick and tired of everything. I lack motivation to continue doing anything, to continue progressing my skills, I had made huge progress in these things, but I just can't enjoy them anymore. It seems like I can't enjoy life anymore, I don't want anything, I don't wait for anything in the future. I see just dull and empty life that is worthless.
I think you're wrong. So what that I recognize that there is a problem? So what that I try to change? I fail to anyways. I try alot and hard and still can't achieve what I want, so that means that I lose. I lose to life, I lose to myself and to everyone. That makes me a loser.YOU RE NOT A LOSER! You are a person recognizing that something isnt right,,that there is a problem..A loser continues on until they crash head first. Now you have to reserach these emotions on line and read about others and how they dealt with them. There are so many solutions to these 'hang ups'...it just takes practice and learning how to manage/correct/overcome these negative emotions. Again, you realize clearly that there is a problem.....a loser does nt realize that! Good luck!
I think you're wrong. So what that I recognize that there is a problem? So what that I try to change? I fail to anyways. I try alot and hard and still can't achieve what I want, so that means that I lose. I lose to life, I lose to myself and to everyone. That makes me a loser.
Well Luke thats quite true, but that doesn't help me much, cause I won't be happy being a loser whole my life.
But I don't even know how can I be happy at all. I'm in quite different situation here than most. Most of people here want just to have friends, hang out, go to parties. I can do all that if I want, but I don't want to . I don't want much at all, I don't want to go to parties, talk with people or drive fancy cars. I don't have hope for future and don't have the will to try to do something and now its probably the most important time for me to act, but I dont do much at all. Screw me.
EgoZero,
I have zero ego too and relate totally to what you're saying. A healthy ego may or may not be a requirement out here. I haven't figured that out yet. But what I do know is that creative people of all kinds are prone to depression and if you're a perfectionist too like I am then it's going to be doubly challenging to find a way out of such a negative mind-set that we can tend to dig ourselves into due to so many frustrations and disappointments in life. But it's also up to us entirely to find a way out of it. No one can do that for us because we do after all have an answer for every argument in the book.
The funny thing though despite all the negatives you are finding is that you are very likeable and very loveable too. I'm only just beginning to discover this about myself and maybe that's why I can also see it so clearly in you. People like us are really good people. We ask too much of ourselves even while I ask very little of others. If I treated myself the way that I treat others I would be a much happier, more well adjusted person. I'm at the very beginning stages of working on this very directly. I don't have an ego and likely never will. I have to be able to accept myself just the way I am, without criticism. It's a tough challenge but I think I can do it. I think you could do it too if you could get to a place where you wanted to badly enough. I hope you don't suffer too many years this way. It isn't necessary or worth it. We are all a work in progress, with no exceptions.
I like you whether you like you or not. And I'm clearly not the only one, so you may as well get used to it.
I suck at life so much it's even hard to explain. I have SA, depression, HH, probably OCD, BBD and some other ****ed up problems. I've never fully achieved any of my goals, because I fail at most of the things no matter how hard I try. I also have no self-discipline, no self-confidence, no self-esteem. I mostly waste all of my time by doing nothing now. I'm a lame and weak person, I can't accept myself, I can't overcome myself, I can't leave my comfort zone, I can't change my way of thinking. My mind is ****ed up, I'm a clumsy loser, I'm not worth anything, I'm useless piece of shit, I hate myself. I can't enjoy anything anymore. I know that I'll never be happy and life is already over for me.
And as you can see I'm such a pathetic crybaby...