I suck at life

EgoZero

Well-known member
#22
Hi EgoZero and 206Raider. Okay this might sound a bit silly but give it a go. Pick a cool hobby, something that you've always wanted to learn, like how to play guitar to a high standard.
The thing with hobbies is that gaining the skill is all completely in your control, all you do is practice and practice, learn how to fix this mistake how to do that, throw your guitar down on the ground and get pissed off, and then the next morning the feeling of frustration has cleared and you are ready to pick up your guitar and master that tune dammit!! ^_^

The reason I suggest this is that you begin to learn skills in small ways that transfer over into other areas of life such as perseverence, not giving up, pushing yourself to do something your scared you will mess up etc etc.
And all the while, you are having loads of fun (because it's a fun hobby that inspires you) and the increasing levels of skill you gain and the finished product you have to show for it gives you such a self esteem boost.

For me I have learned how to knit from scratch, (don't laugh, but it was something I had always wanted to learn!!) and am starting a complicated sweater after a year of learning to knit and pesevering through thinking I would never get good enough.
Learning this skill has helped to show me, that I can make things happen if i want to.

Also, I think it might be worth it as an investment in yourself, to pay a coach or counsellor that will always be encouraging and will model positive attitudes and encourage you to go for that thing you may be avoiding. You have to choose a coach carefully though and it should be the right person for you and someone you feel like you can work with.
The repetition does seem to sink into your brain. I think repetition is very much key for learning new behaviours.

I read the askmen. com and everyone there is always like "take responsibilty for yourself" "take action" "stop complaining" to everyone there, but in a good way. (Btw these are all thing that I do A LOT!) but from reading the askmen board and hearing these comments over and over, I've begun to think twice before doing these things. So I think that yeah reading a good board for becoming more in control of your life will help too. As it will repeat the same ideas over and over, and your brain will take note.
::p:
Well do you think I would be whining here like a little bitch before trying what you said? Believe me I tried a lot of things, I had alot of hobbies. I do stuff like multimedia arts, makign websites, working out, learning to drive and so on. I still am doing all that shit, but I can't enjoy anything, I got sick and tired of everything. I lack motivation to continue doing anything, to continue progressing my skills, I had made huge progress in these things, but I just can't enjoy them anymore. It seems like I can't enjoy life anymore, I don't want anything, I don't wait for anything in the future. I see just dull and empty life that is worthless.
 

CPA23

Well-known member
#24
I suck at life so much it's even hard to explain. I have SA, depression, HH, probably OCD, BBD and some other ****ed up problems. I've never fully achieved any of my goals, because I fail at most of the things no matter how hard I try. I also have no self-discipline, no self-confidence, no self-esteem. I mostly waste all of my time by doing nothing now. I'm a lame and weak person, I can't accept myself, I can't overcome myself, I can't leave my comfort zone, I can't change my way of thinking. My mind is ****ed up, I'm a clumsy loser, I'm not worth anything, I'm useless piece of shit, I hate myself. I can't enjoy anything anymore. I know that I'll never be happy and life is already over for me.
And as you can see I'm such a pathetic crybaby...
I know it's hard man, but please don't put yourself down so harshly. Believe me, I've been there and it is such a struggle. You have to think positively! (as hard as it is) I still struggle today with self-acceptance, self-love, self-esteem, insecurity, and all the other things that SA people go through. But please realize that EVERYONE struggles with something in their lives!! I don't care how beautiful or talented someone is, no one goes through life without some kind of suffering. Please hold on because your life is over only because YOU feel it's over. There is so much more life you can live and so much happiness that you can feel. I am begging you to please hold on!! There are happy times, sad times, ups, downs, etc in EVERYONE's life. People don't understand us, but I understand what you are going through!! We can make it together!!
 

Darryl

Well-known member
#25
How can you know that?
I also suck at life, i see the smilies in my kids hearts and can't share that with them. Because I can't support my wife, I'm a good person but can't help them with what ever i do.
Every thing you wrote I feel the same, and everyone who has commented behind your post were all the same, were all good people.

I thank you for your post as I struggle to get my true feeling out to allow people to understand me, but you've helped me power type.

I've got tears in my eyes because you are me.
I'm waiting just like you aswell as all the friends here for something great to happen and the longer it takes the better it will be.
Kind Regards Darryl
 
#27
yeah I was having a bad day mogs, not saying I won't have more days like that but I do want a hobby, the funny thing is I don't even know what sounds fun anymore, I used to play basketball as a kid and loved it but I was more into shooting around not playing a game even though I was one fo the better players on the team becuase I hate how people get so pissed if you miss a shot or something and I'm just not into basketball anymore anyway, I did play flag football last year a couple times and I dropped a couple passes and somebody called me a useless player I shook it off and kept playing and made some nice plays but wtf we all just having fun, and people take it so seriously and I left becuase I have a problem with people like that, if I stay I will get into a fight becuase I can't control my temper with people who do that. Like one time at work in a warehouse on my first day some grumpy old dude called me stupid mfer cause I didn't know how to operate something that nobody ever showed me...I told him to shut the hell up and got in trouble but other people who worked in there told me it's cool that that guy is a weirdo but I can't stand people like that.
Hi Raider, yeah, choose a personal hobby so you can practice these skills without someone screeching at ya! :D That way you can mess up all you want, and begin to learn how to come back from that, and how to keep trying! It can be easier to practice these skills with smaller tasks that are fun, and something you are really passionate about and want to be doing anyway. That and when you get a job, and have the money, (until then there's lots of free information on the net and advice boards)
but when you can afford it, find a coach that will not make you dependant on them, but will encourage and teach you to take action and solve your issues (meant with respect!! I have a lot of the same issues and I know it can be difficult!) but maybe it's just a skill that we can learn and the more we practice, the better we will all get?)
Best wishes, and good luck Mogs : )
 
#28
Well do you think I would be whining here like a little bitch before trying what you said? Believe me I tried a lot of things, I had alot of hobbies. I do stuff like multimedia arts, makign websites, working out, learning to drive and so on. I still am doing all that shit, but I can't enjoy anything, I got sick and tired of everything. I lack motivation to continue doing anything, to continue progressing my skills, I had made huge progress in these things, but I just can't enjoy them anymore. It seems like I can't enjoy life anymore, I don't want anything, I don't wait for anything in the future. I see just dull and empty life that is worthless.
Oh. my. You just typed what i feel, but i wouldn't have been able to type it. :mad:::(::mad:::(:
 

EgoZero

Well-known member
#29
More than a week has passed from when I visited this thread and nothing has changed for me. I'd say just got worse. For some time I kept myself busy and that let me forget abit about how everything is, but now the suckage of life is back on me.
The thing is that if I dont want to end up a pathetic bum I need to change, but I feel like I'm not in control of my life and myself. I try to make a change, like setting some goals and going towards them, but lots of time I just lose track of my tasks or get distracted, even when I achieve them I don't get any pleasure and feel like it wasn't worth doing it. I used to have hope and dreams to achieve something years ago, but now it's all gone and without self-esteem it's really hard to continue. I just don't know what should I do...
 
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#30
YOU RE NOT A LOSER! You are a person recognizing that something isnt right,,that there is a problem..A loser continues on until they crash head first. Now you have to reserach these emotions on line and read about others and how they dealt with them. There are so many solutions to these 'hang ups'...it just takes practice and learning how to manage/correct/overcome these negative emotions. Again, you realize clearly that there is a problem.....a loser does nt realize that! Good luck!
 
#31
hi, i feel the same... i have depression too...but my major problem is my low self-esteem, it can't let me change my situation..the fear is over my person.
 

EgoZero

Well-known member
#32
YOU RE NOT A LOSER! You are a person recognizing that something isnt right,,that there is a problem..A loser continues on until they crash head first. Now you have to reserach these emotions on line and read about others and how they dealt with them. There are so many solutions to these 'hang ups'...it just takes practice and learning how to manage/correct/overcome these negative emotions. Again, you realize clearly that there is a problem.....a loser does nt realize that! Good luck!
I think you're wrong. So what that I recognize that there is a problem? So what that I try to change? I fail to anyways. I try alot and hard and still can't achieve what I want, so that means that I lose. I lose to life, I lose to myself and to everyone. That makes me a loser.
 

Luke1993

Well-known member
#33
I think you're wrong. So what that I recognize that there is a problem? So what that I try to change? I fail to anyways. I try alot and hard and still can't achieve what I want, so that means that I lose. I lose to life, I lose to myself and to everyone. That makes me a loser.
Lots of people are losers. I think I'm a loser, you think you're a loser. Starving ethiopians with no internet, may also think that they are losers. The key word there is THINK!

There's nothing wrong with being a loser, everybody loses sometimes. Some do lose more than others yes. You probably lose a lot. So do I, when a man is not good at anything, it's hard NOT to lose :) but does it matter? No! You may envy all the "winners", but they won't live forever. They spent alll their life winning and then they die, so they've lost it all. All their winning comes to a grand total of.....

0

Just like the two of us! We are all born with nothing, and we all die with nothing. So winning or losing doesn't matter! :)
 

EgoZero

Well-known member
#34
Well Luke thats quite true, but that doesn't help me much, cause I won't be happy being a loser whole my life.
But I don't even know how can I be happy at all. I'm in quite different situation here than most. Most of people here want just to have friends, hang out, go to parties. I can do all that if I want, but I don't want to . I don't want much at all, I don't want to go to parties, talk with people or drive fancy cars. I don't have hope for future and don't have the will to try to do something and now its probably the most important time for me to act, but I dont do much at all. Screw me.
 
#35
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and I’m out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin’ with a loser and the cruise control
Baby’s in reno with the vitamin d
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat
Someone came sayin’ I’m insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don’t believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin’ all your food stamps and burnin’ down the trailer park

Yo. cut it.

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?

(double barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?

Forces of evil on a bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
’cuz one’s got a weasel and the other’s got a flag
One’s on the pole, shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose-job
The daytime crap of the folksinger club
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey-neck and it’s hangin’ from a pigeon wing
You can’t write if you can’t relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin’ on a termite
who's chokin’ on the splinters

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheese whiz)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(drive-by body-pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
Soooooyy....

?em llik uoy t'nod yhw os ,ybab resol a m'I rodedreP nu yos
[It's the Chorus backwards]

(I’m a driver, I’m a winner; things are gonna change I can feel it)

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(I can’t believe you)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Nlehh...)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Sprechen Sie Deutsch hier, Baby!)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(know what I’m sayin’? )
 

Luke1993

Well-known member
#36
Well Luke thats quite true, but that doesn't help me much, cause I won't be happy being a loser whole my life.
But I don't even know how can I be happy at all. I'm in quite different situation here than most. Most of people here want just to have friends, hang out, go to parties. I can do all that if I want, but I don't want to . I don't want much at all, I don't want to go to parties, talk with people or drive fancy cars. I don't have hope for future and don't have the will to try to do something and now its probably the most important time for me to act, but I dont do much at all. Screw me.
So what do you think you want? What would you like to change to make you happy? Try and think a bit before you answer, don't just say "nothing" I know it's very hard, I was in a depressive phase mere hours ago (My moods change very frequently).

Also there are happy winners and happy losers. There are also sad winners and sad losers. Believe it or not losers can be happy (I am happy right now!) and winners can be sad (Paradise Syndrome). You just have to accept who you are, because that's one of the few things that you cannot change.
 

Mercedes

Well-known member
#38
EgoZero,
I have zero ego too and relate totally to what you're saying. A healthy ego may or may not be a requirement out here. I haven't figured that out yet. But what I do know is that creative people of all kinds are prone to depression and if you're a perfectionist too like I am then it's going to be doubly challenging to find a way out of such a negative mind-set that we can tend to dig ourselves into due to so many frustrations and disappointments in life. But it's also up to us entirely to find a way out of it. No one can do that for us because we do after all have an answer for every argument in the book.

The funny thing though despite all the negatives you are finding is that you are very likeable and very loveable too. I'm only just beginning to discover this about myself and maybe that's why I can also see it so clearly in you. People like us are really good people. We ask too much of ourselves even while I ask very little of others. If I treated myself the way that I treat others I would be a much happier, more well adjusted person. I'm at the very beginning stages of working on this very directly. I don't have an ego and likely never will. I have to be able to accept myself just the way I am, without criticism. It's a tough challenge but I think I can do it. I think you could do it too if you could get to a place where you wanted to badly enough. I hope you don't suffer too many years this way. It isn't necessary or worth it. We are all a work in progress, with no exceptions.

I like you whether you like you or not. And I'm clearly not the only one, so you may as well get used to it. :)
 
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EgoZero

Well-known member
#39
EgoZero,
I have zero ego too and relate totally to what you're saying. A healthy ego may or may not be a requirement out here. I haven't figured that out yet. But what I do know is that creative people of all kinds are prone to depression and if you're a perfectionist too like I am then it's going to be doubly challenging to find a way out of such a negative mind-set that we can tend to dig ourselves into due to so many frustrations and disappointments in life. But it's also up to us entirely to find a way out of it. No one can do that for us because we do after all have an answer for every argument in the book.

The funny thing though despite all the negatives you are finding is that you are very likeable and very loveable too. I'm only just beginning to discover this about myself and maybe that's why I can also see it so clearly in you. People like us are really good people. We ask too much of ourselves even while I ask very little of others. If I treated myself the way that I treat others I would be a much happier, more well adjusted person. I'm at the very beginning stages of working on this very directly. I don't have an ego and likely never will. I have to be able to accept myself just the way I am, without criticism. It's a tough challenge but I think I can do it. I think you could do it too if you could get to a place where you wanted to badly enough. I hope you don't suffer too many years this way. It isn't necessary or worth it. We are all a work in progress, with no exceptions.

I like you whether you like you or not. And I'm clearly not the only one, so you may as well get used to it. :)
Yes you're right I am a perfectionist and you are saying truth. I know it all depends on me, but I've had so many dissapointments in my life that I got really tired of it all. I feel like just quiting, it feels like it's really not woth trying anymore. Whats the point to try when everything is so hard for you and doens't bring any happiness? Maybe I'm just too weak for this so called thing "life".
 

Mikefly

Well-known member
#40
I suck at life so much it's even hard to explain. I have SA, depression, HH, probably OCD, BBD and some other ****ed up problems. I've never fully achieved any of my goals, because I fail at most of the things no matter how hard I try. I also have no self-discipline, no self-confidence, no self-esteem. I mostly waste all of my time by doing nothing now. I'm a lame and weak person, I can't accept myself, I can't overcome myself, I can't leave my comfort zone, I can't change my way of thinking. My mind is ****ed up, I'm a clumsy loser, I'm not worth anything, I'm useless piece of shit, I hate myself. I can't enjoy anything anymore. I know that I'll never be happy and life is already over for me.
And as you can see I'm such a pathetic crybaby...
I can see your moving in the right direction tho, you have to be stripped down all the way to rock bottom then built back up into the strongest person you can be ive been through all this stuff your describing , you just need to force yourself to do some hard work for the next few years and build your mind up mentally and improve your self disipline your fine tho man.
 
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