I just confessed on Facebook!

[Lost Girl]

In a moment of perhaps insanity I posted the following note on Facebook. It wasn't thought out, I just typed it as I thought it, then hit send.

'Being way too open and honest here.

I was just going through all my old FB comments.. besides the people who I only know from online, all the comments were pretty much "its been so long, we have to catch up!" etc etc. I really really suck at staying in touch with people. Once I haven't seen people for a while I shut myself off from them - not as a diss, I just find it very hard to make that connection again. Oh hell why not, I'll let it out, this is FB where some are silly enough to let out their deepest darkest secrets, so here goes; I have social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, and at times, depression. I'm not a complete crazy person I don't think. I was abused, and was raised in a fairly unloving environment. I now have a deep seeded mistrust in people, hence my hate/love/hate/love for the world and humanity. I find it hard to do many basic things like making a phone call, being out alone..and I'm struggling at the moment with the outside world. At times I am fine, or may appear that way, there are times when I would enjoy nothing more than company and going out and having a great time, and others where I am a complete wreck when the prospect of seeing another person or even leaving the house comes up. My point is, for those who may wonder why I am neglectful and don't stay in touch, such as all my sisters, family, and old friends who I never see, yet treasure - now you know. I'm sorry <3.'


I don't even really care that I just put it all out there oddly enough. I don't really feel like a weight has been let off my shoulders, either. I'm curious to see people's reactions to it however... I suspect that when my sanity kicks back in I'll start to totally freak out that I did that though!

My after thought is that I have taken an easy/weak route to try and get people to understand why I am like I am with minimal effort. Maybe my deceptive mind has been secretly planning this for months! It has been weighing on my mind that I should tell more people about it...

The more I think about it, the more weaker it seems... But I won't delete it, I think that would be even weaker. Oh dear. What have I done

 

[Tiercel]

Congratulations on outing yourself!

That's definitely not weak. In fact, you might want to check between your legs, as I think you just grew a pair.

I'm not on Facebook too often, but I still haven't been brave enough to tell the world about my problems. Only SocialPhobiaWorld.

 

[Liberty]

That's cool. I'd like to be able to tell people too, I think it would help. Today I was getting a minor laser procedure done at the dentist and I told them I was nervous about the laser lol. It felt really good to at least be able to admit I was nervous. Of course after the laser thing was over I was getting anxious about still looking nervous and having no excuse lol.

 

[Sial Axetder]

What comes next, for me, is continuous repeat. If for you as well, try and shut it out. It has, many times, eaten much time. Though I sense I need not mention that bit of advice. Feels like it is well known.

If it helps any:
A paint ball comrade noticed my lack of facial expressions and countered me in an email I had sent. PB comrade was not happy with my email, will not go into detail. He was concerned I had Asperger's Syndrome. I let him know - AvPD.

It is said misery loves company. Positive: I hope you are not miserable. Go forward.

 

[Lost Girl]

Congratulations on outing yourself!

That's definitely not weak. In fact, you might want to check between your legs, as I think you just grew a pair.

I'm not on Facebook too often, but I still haven't been brave enough to tell the world about my problems. Only SocialPhobiaWorld.

LOL haha! that made me laugh out loud. I haven't checked down there, it all still feels the same down in my pants so I don't think there's a need to ::

Thank you for your kind words, I do still think that it's weak in a way, but, it's better out than in! I'm sort of happy I did it now...I'm putting off checking for responses to it til later though!

 

[Lost Girl]

That's cool. I'd like to be able to tell people too, I think it would help. Today I was getting a minor laser procedure done at the dentist and I told them I was nervous about the laser lol. It felt really good to at least be able to admit I was nervous. Of course after the laser thing was over I was getting anxious about still looking nervous and having no excuse lol.

I know what you mean! just saying that I'm nervous out loud to whoever is around can relax me and loosen me up. lol @ you then got anxious afterward about still being nervous - I'm sure many of us can relate to that feeling ::

 

[Lost Girl]

What comes next, for me, is continuous repeat. If for you as well, try and shut it out. It has, many times, eaten much time. Though I sense I need not mention that bit of advice. Feels like it is well known.

If it helps any:
A paint ball comrade noticed my lack of facial expressions and countered me in an email I had sent. PB comrade was not happy with my email, will not go into detail. He was concerned I had Asperger's Syndrome. I let him know - AvPD.

It is said misery loves company. Positive: I hope you are not miserable. Go forward.

Once again, I love how you write.

I do feel as though I am on continuous repeat, SO much of my time has been wasted. So many wasted opportunities have gone by. Letting people know is not by any means my last stop, I want to beat this eventually, or at least, learn to live with it better. At the moment, I can barely leave my house, I am miserable only when I know I am going to have to see other people or leave the safety of my home. I know this isn't something that can go on forever, and I am slowly working up the courage to see a therapist. I do try to stay positive. Thank you .

 

[hangbi92]

I told some of my friends, but directly not through FB to see how they would react. I didnt expect them to understand it, but some of them turned out to be more friendly to me and were willing to help me. They already knew that I was weird and had some kind of problem before and now I gave them the reason why I was like that. I think when people know you better, they will be more open to u. Of course there r some people have no idea what I am talking about.
And I have also tried to anounce on my FB that I have SA and the result was quite funny. I wrote on my wall:" I hate Social Phobia. It's killing me" and my friend comment:" Yeah, I hate it too. My Social teacher sucks" and I was like"WTH why there is Social Studies here. Im talking about Social Phobia". The second time I posted a video about SA from Youtube to FB but I have no idea if anyone even watched it.

 

[EasySkankin]

Good for you Lost Girl . Only good things can come from this. Keep us posted Seriously... it seems that you have the right attitude that is needed to beat SA... that's all that's needed, the rest is just work.

 

[fudgy]

I have a tremendous amount of resepct for anyone who can say

"this is me , this is what I have , this is who I am"

don't regret it lost girl and don't remove it ....

well done

 

[Mr isolated]

................

 

[Ignace]

Respect for you Lost_Girl, I couldn't do it. It's the best thing to do, no secrets anymore.

 

[dottie]

i couldnt do it. keep us posted if anyone responds!

 

[BlueDays]

...........................

 

[Hannes]

Congrats on your anouncement lostgirl, I agree it takes guts to anounce on FB what you have always been hiding and dealing with on your own. I bet you will get a whole host of replies on your wall saying "Guess what I got SA too!" at least now it is out there and you no longer need to run or hide from it.

This opens your path to being able to confront and conquer it. WELL DONE!

 

[da_illest101]

wow, seriously I do not know where you find the strength to do that but i'm proud of you. I know that i'll never be this couragious that's for sure

 

[evi]

I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[emerald_star733]

You rock!! I am new, i do not know you, but we share commonalities, you are not alone You are very brave and perhaps by you doing this, you have given others strength to do the same...
Thanks for being you

 

[ryan2022]

Nice job. You're strong.

No problem there, and Id bet anyone of your family who sees that, will make more of an effort to contact you too! Its a two way street. Don't be hard on yourself.

congrats!

 

[dean01]

superb, hats off to you!