I don't know what to do..

[kristina303]

I'm 19 years old and I still don't have a job. I graduated high school thank god. Now all I do is sit at home all day and watch tv. I want a job so bad, but I get too nervous around people. I hate having social anxiety idk why it had to happen to me. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. None of my friends know about it so they all think I'm just lazy and that's why I don't have a job. My dad keeps pressuring me to get a job. He knows about my social anxiety but he thinks I'm just faking it. Do you guys know of any jobs where I could just be alone? I checked the local library but they don't have any job openings. I feel like a loser.

 

[Sartana]

I was in exactly your position a year ago, even down to looking for a library job to keep myself hidden whilst working. After a few months that library job just never came, I got rejected for absolutely everything that I applied for. In the end I just had to apply for absolutely everything, even jobs that I knew I couldn't do due to being too nervous. Around 2 months back I got a job that meant I had to deal with people every minute of the day that I'm there, and all I can say is that it beat the social anxiety right out of me. Sometimes I need 5 minutes to refresh my mind, but it really has done amazing things for me, even if it does bum me out how much im there at the moment. It's done so much for me that everyone (who ive never told about how awkward I feel all the time) keep telling me that I'm full of confidence all of a sudden. Of course that's not true all the time and I still have little slip backs and when people call me stupid I lose all power of speech as I used to, but it still feels pretty good. The biggest thing is that I fully expected to quit after a week but instead I adjusted. When I was around 16 I worked in a hospital a few hours a week as it allowed me to hide out back all the time, but I felt massively nervous anytime someone would speak to me because I didn't like to talk to anyone. It caused such a huge spike in anxiety every time I saw someone coming towards the door that I would phone in sick constantly and ended up getting fired.

Sorry for the long paragraph about myself, but reading your post was like a message from the past for me. I think you should give a busier job a try for at least a week as you may surprise yourself. What's a week's worth of uncomfort if it could eventually help you?

 

[Niteowl]

Hi Bella. Did you ever think about volunteering? It's something that you could do while looking for the right job. It could also help with your confidence. I'm in the same position as you but I've begun volunteering as an 'exhibition steward', and it's something I can put on my CV. It really depends on where you are, but there are probably a lot of different opportunities for volunteering locally, probably working with animals, and in charity shops. Check for websites on volunteering opportunities, even - that's how I find out about mine. Volunteering might not sound too pleasant, maybe, but it's really not bad - you don't owe anyone your time, so if it doesn't work out, you can stop doing it, if you really have to.

Definitely something to consider thinking about, I'd say. If you volunteer in some way that will be challenging for you, meaning having to deal with people in some capacity, it will really help you with your confidence. :] Just look around for different opportunities. Volunteering is really easy to get started in. You get experience from volunteering which will help when you go to apply for a job - if you volunteered in a charity shop, you gained some customer experience. It doesn't even need to be a shop for that, necessarily. It's like a job but with less pressure and no wage. You can look for a job at the same time though, by all means. I am.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

This pretty much sums up my life at the moment. 18, recently graduated from hell school, unemployed, sit around at home all day, etc... and you are most definitely NOT a loser. Social Anxiety is a very difficult thing to live with and overcome, especially when you have a father who thinks you're "faking it" (someone sure needs a reality check...). I used to work at the local library at the previous city I lived in, but then got laid off. Working there was a good experience for me as it was a very quiet environment with minimal social interaction. I'd continue to keep an eye out for any new openings at nearby libraries if I were you. I highly recommend it. You could also look into working at a bookstore. I have a friend who's very shy and she got a job at a local bookstore and loves it.

You could also volunteer, as Niteowl suggested. I volunteered at an animal shelter for a few years to get my community hours done for school and I LOVED it. I didn't necessarily have to interact with anyone since it's an animal shelter and it's full of animals (well duh ) besides the owners who directed me what to do that specific day. You obviously won't get paid for it but at least you'll get some experience out of it and volunteering always looks good on your resume, so those are all things you could look into.

You'll eventually find something you enjoy doing. Just be patient and have hope. Best of luck to you

 

[Nathália]

I am going through the same thing and I had to drop out of college due to stress. I do not have a job and I have bills already stacking up from school. So I went to go talk to a disability lawyer and I had to keep appealing my case and I finally got through after filing. I know exactly what you go through. I do not have real job but I found out a way to at least make enough money to pay my cell phone bill and that was to keep my nieces on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I knew this kid who I went to school with who worked at hobby lobby for one hour a week. A little change is better than nothing. Find resources in your community for the disabled. Maybe try your local community center and maybe that can give your some resources to help? I feel like a bum at times too, so I have to occupy my self instead of staying on the computer which hides my problems. I force myself to learn a new language, do arts and crafts you know to stop my self from hiding in a ball and never coming out. Anxiety is a battle and it took a few years for my family to learn and understand. I would rather have a real job but I had to listen to my parents I need a pillow to fall back on. There has to be something like working the time of day/night when alot of people are not around? I am just trying to help because I have alot in common with your post. For now I just make bill money.

 

[eatamoose372]

I'm was/am in the same boat as you.. but I got a job, working only 2 days a week(5hrs each) at a local pizzaria. It's not the most ideal job but it is kind of helping me with my SA and hopefully, I'll be able to take on more hours soon.
My parents also just believe I'm lazy but are content (FOR NOW) with me staying at home the majority of the week as long as I'm out of the house for a bit and bringing in some sort of income..

 

[MikeyC]

Hi Bella. Like you (and some others that have posted already), I was unemployed for 11 months after I graduated school. I got a crappy job for 3 months, was unemployed for another 3 months, then got my current job that I've been doing for the last 6 years. For those 11 months of unemployment, I sat around and did nothing because I felt like a loser, too, and I was in a bad way emotionally at the time.

You're certainly not a loser, and there's plenty of people in your situation, too. I don't know where you could work, but the library has been suggested so maybe try there. I know your social anxiety prevents a lot of things, but hopefully you'll find somewhere you would like to work soon.

Good luck with everything.

 

[Nanita]

I can´t really give good advice, I´m also unemployed and I dropped out of several schools because I couldn´t manage the discipline and being around people. I have no idea what will happen to me, but I like to think that I will someday have my own vegetable garden and do more art and stuff.

 

[gustavofring]

Les Brown - It's Possible (1 of 5) - YouTube

Listen to some motivational stuff to snap out of your negativity.

 

[kristina303]

Thanks for the help guys. But for those of you who do have a job how do you even get through an interview? I think that scares me the most.

 

[MikeyC]

Thanks for the help guys. But for those of you who do have a job how do you even get through an interview? I think that scares me the most.

Interviews are hell with business suits. I was fortunate in that I didn't need an interview. I just filled out an application, sent it away, and a few weeks later I got a phone call to say my first shift begins. Started casual for a couple of months before being made permanent back in 2005 and I've been doing that ever since.

Most jobs require an interview. I would be absolutely freaking out, too, so I have no advice except just do your best.

 

[UnderTheBoughs]

I was in exactly your position a year ago, even down to looking for a library job to keep myself hidden whilst working. After a few months that library job just never came, I got rejected for absolutely everything that I applied for. In the end I just had to apply for absolutely everything, even jobs that I knew I couldn't do due to being too nervous. Around 2 months back I got a job that meant I had to deal with people every minute of the day that I'm there, and all I can say is that it beat the social anxiety right out of me. Sometimes I need 5 minutes to refresh my mind, but it really has done amazing things for me, even if it does bum me out how much im there at the moment. It's done so much for me that everyone (who ive never told about how awkward I feel all the time) keep telling me that I'm full of confidence all of a sudden. Of course that's not true all the time and I still have little slip backs and when people call me stupid I lose all power of speech as I used to, but it still feels pretty good. The biggest thing is that I fully expected to quit after a week but instead I adjusted. When I was around 16 I worked in a hospital a few hours a week as it allowed me to hide out back all the time, but I felt massively nervous anytime someone would speak to me because I didn't like to talk to anyone. It caused such a huge spike in anxiety every time I saw someone coming towards the door that I would phone in sick constantly and ended up getting fired.

Sorry for the long paragraph about myself, but reading your post was like a message from the past for me. I think you should give a busier job a try for at least a week as you may surprise yourself. What's a week's worth of uncomfort if it could eventually help you?

Sartana, this post was very... I want to say inspiring.... for me because I really feel that if I too could get into something like a job which would force me to interact with people on a daily basis, it would have the same beating-social-anxiety-out-of-me effect. I find that the more time I spend around the same people the less anxious I become. For example recently I worked for 8 weeks on a temporary, work experience basis and by the end of that, the people there that I spent most of the time with I felt so much more comfortable around, compared to when I started. I was even beginning share in the jokes and conversations (of which there was a lot in the store room(it was a shop)). I think I do/would respond really well to exposure therapy but my problem is, I think... either I'm too scared to try things or I feel like I know I can't or I have a 'mindset' which assures me nothing will work out, before I've even tried it... I don't know, but just hearing about your successes has made me feel a little more hopeful, so thanks.

 

[Sartana]

Thanks! Really glad that it helped you.

 

[emre43]

I'm facing a similar problem at the moment. I am so anxious about entering a workplace. I just don't know what to say and freeze during conversations.