I am so depressed

[PugofCrydee]

I don't get the reference.

when Biden was calling Trump 'George..George..'

 

[Miserum]

when Biden was calling Trump 'George..George..'

I mean both were idiots but at least George Dubbya was likable. Surprised Bernie got the two mixed up.

 

[PugofCrydee]

I mean both were idiots but at least George Dubbya was likable. Surprised Bernie got the two mixed up.

I actually am a little - no, let me rephrase that - absolutely dumbfounded that Trump and Biden are all Americans can choose to be their leaders this time round.. From an outsiders perspective, it's a little embarrassing.. not that my opinion counts.
Oh America, what have you become?

 

[Miserum]

I actually am a little - no, let me rephrase that - absolutely dumbfounded that Trump and Biden are all Americans can choose to be their leaders this time round.. From an outsiders perspective, it's a little embarrassing.. not that my opinion counts.
Oh America, what have you become?

Yeah I much preferred Bernie Sanders over anyone else, but he's "too progressive" apparently for most people.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Yeah I much preferred Bernie Sanders over anyone else, but he's "too progressive" apparently for most people.

From what I see through the media, the religious groups add up to a LOT of votes in the U.S, and the NRA too. Then there are so many splintered factions, sooo many other groups.. I realize no matter who you vote for, votes all get funneled into a major party in the end by deals being done.(unless I have the wrong impression?)
It just seems so complex.

 

[PugofCrydee]

And in regards to politicians in general..

 

[Miserum]

From what I see through the media, the religious groups add up to a LOT of votes in the U.S, and the NRA too. Then there are so many splintered factions, sooo many other groups.. I realize no matter who you vote for, votes all get funneled into a major party in the end by deals being done.(unless I have the wrong impression?)
It just seems so complex.

Sounds about right to me! It's a two party system. Dems and Republicans. No one else gets a shot.

 

[Miserum]

And in regards to politicians in general..

I think many of them are actually pretty bright (with a few brickheads here and there, just like any profession). They just want power, or, in some cases, they want to truly make a difference.

 

[Phoenixx]

Good advice Sam.. I mean Terry.. oh whatever the fk your name is..

Reminds me of this:

 

[Miserum]

I often have a running thought that underscores the rest of my thinking: that I am going to get fucked over by someone else no matter what I do. Could be my best friend. Could be my partner. Could be a coworker. Could be my parents. There is a chance that any of these relationships might end or go sour, and if they do, will these people hold the things I've said or done, either in confidence or otherwise, against me? Will they try to ruin me, ruin all I've worked hard for? Could be tomorrow, 2 years from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now.

I guess I believe that human beings are fundamentally, selfish, grasping, vile, and vengeful things. It honestly scares me. I've done bad in my life. But nothing egregiously bad... surely not enough to warrant acts of vengeance by any particular individual. However, sometimes people are just unreasonable shits, or they go crazy.

I'm probably letting my paranoia get the better of me again.

 

[Miserum]

I think I'm learning that you can't socialize successfully as an American (maybe any nationality) man without thick skin and some form of aggression embedded into your sociability. Your only other options are to be pushed around, or at the very least, be seen as weak. And the other dismal option, should one choose that path, is to end up as a loner forever.

 

[Phoenixx]

I think I'm learning that you can't socialize successfully as an American (maybe any nationality) man without thick skin and some form of aggression embedded into your sociability. Your only other options are to be pushed around, or at the very least, be seen as weak. And the other dismal option, should one choose that path, is to end up as a loner forever.

You know, I really feel for men that are more soft-spoken in our American society. Having social anxiety or shyness or both, I feel like it is much harder for men than it is for women given our cultural "norms" (for lack of better term at the moment). Not trying to come across at all pitting one gender against another, because being any level of introverted, shy, and/or socially anxious in a culture that is typically loud and extroverted is difficult. But given the expectation that men are supposed to come across as confident, headstrong, and even a little aggressive -- plus throw in there how men are supposed to look like -- in order to be "the man," men that don't fit this view I also feel are often looked upon as weak and it's sad.

(I understand women face A LOT of judgment too, definitely more judgment than men. But I'm strictly speaking on the introversion between men and women and I feel like women CAN get away with being quiet and shy a little bit more than men do because we're expected to standby and not take charge. We're expected to be soft spoken or not speak our minds at all.)

Honestly, this never fully occurred to me until I got married to a guy who is more laid back and not aggressive at all and is below the average height of men in the US working a job that's littered in toxic masculinity. While most people do respect him, and he loves what he does for a living and I'm happy, he does sometimes get pushed around by the other men there too and it pisses me off to no end. Given his nature of not liking to ruffle any feathers, he usually just lets it roll off his back or ignores them and keeps focused on his job. Perhaps that's a better way of handling it. I tend to get pissed off and can only bite my tongue for so long before I wind up saying something, social anxiety be damned at that point. But in my eyes, I'd rather be looked at as a bitch than as a doormat.

 

[Miserum]

You know, I really feel for men that are more soft-spoken in our American society. Having social anxiety or shyness or both, I feel like it is much harder for men than it is for women given our cultural "norms" (for lack of better term at the moment). Not trying to come across at all pitting one gender against another, because being any level of introverted, shy, and/or socially anxious in a culture that is typically loud and extroverted is difficult. But given the expectation that men are supposed to come across as confident, headstrong, and even a little aggressive -- plus throw in there how men are supposed to look like -- in order to be "the man," men that don't fit this view I also feel are often looked upon as weak and it's sad.

(I understand women face A LOT of judgment too, definitely more judgment than men. But I'm strictly speaking on the introversion between men and women and I feel like women CAN get away with being quiet and shy a little bit more than men do because we're expected to standby and not take charge. We're expected to be soft spoken or not speak our minds at all.)

Honestly, this never fully occurred to me until I got married to a guy who is more laid back and not aggressive at all and is below the average height of men in the US working a job that's littered in toxic masculinity. While most people do respect him, and he loves what he does for a living and I'm happy, he does sometimes get pushed around by the other men there too and it pisses me off to no end. Given his nature of not liking to ruffle any feathers, he usually just lets it roll off his back or ignores them and keeps focused on his job. Perhaps that's a better way of handling it. I tend to get pissed off and can only bite my tongue for so long before I wind up saying something, social anxiety be damned at that point. But in my eyes, I'd rather be looked at as a bitch than as a doormat.

I was hanging out with some people the other day having a good time, but have started to notice that one of my fellow compatriots really likes to argue his viewpoints. I notice that a lot of guys do this; they are so sure in their opinions and are loud about them. I've never understood this mindset, because so many strong opinions are very generally easily debunked or lead to very gray areas. The striving toward "always being right" can be extremely fucking annoying. Anyway, it escalated into a tense verbal battle between us, I suppose. And eventually it sort of turned into good-natured male ribbing over the few hours we all hung out. But I'm still kind of annoyed by his behavior.

But it seems that the "healthy" male is usually okay with male ribbing and confrontation. And that I am not "healthy" because I can't take a lashing to my precious ego, or stand my viewpoints being challenged in open debate. Never have.

I always, always try to consider the other's feelings, which is why I've always felt uncomfortable with ribbing my friends or bluntly putting down their opinions. Because I was so hurt by their ribbing and put-downs, I just assumed they would feel the same if I did it to them. And when I do display this route of empathy, it always seems to backfire, and I end up feeling weak and unconfident, like a schmuck.

But I think that's been the wrong way for a man that wants to thrive in our American culture. Other men may simply not care as much as I do about these confrontations, so maybe I just need to flip my perception of such confrontations. And perhaps a nuanced point; I can't really say with confidence that these confrontations have occurred frequently on serious, somber topics. They are usually arguments that don't matter or ribbing over silly mistakes that any human being would make, but I've taken them seriously because "if they make fun of me for anything, I have no value or I feel dumb and degraded".

Perhaps the best course of action to take in response to "normal human silliness" on my part is humorous self-degradation, or just simply acceptance of my absurd silliness and gaffes. And when other men make their own gaffes, I can laugh at their silliness as well. And some arguments really don't matter at all, if their topic does not personally affect either party. Some things are just not that serious, and don't need to be taken seriously.

 

[Miserum]

You know what, I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna act how I'm gonna act. Despite my best efforts to be a good person, people are still gonna find something about me they don't like. If fucking people don't like the way I behave they can leave the room and take their cuntiness with them. Fuck em.

Feel like I've just been pushed over the edge today, and I'm really, truly feeling like I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.

(This post is unrelated to my previous post.)

 

[PugofCrydee]

I was hanging out with some people the other day having a good time, but have started to notice that one of my fellow compatriots really likes to argue his viewpoints. I notice that a lot of guys do this; they are so sure in their opinions and are loud about them. I've never understood this mindset, because so many strong opinions are very generally easily debunked or lead to very gray areas. The striving toward "always being right" can be extremely fucking annoying. Anyway, it escalated into a tense verbal battle between us, I suppose. And eventually it sort of turned into good-natured male ribbing over the few hours we all hung out. But I'm still kind of annoyed by his behavior.

But it seems that the "healthy" male is usually okay with male ribbing and confrontation. And that I am not "healthy" because I can't take a lashing to my precious ego, or stand my viewpoints being challenged in open debate. Never have.

I always, always try to consider the other's feelings, which is why I've always felt uncomfortable with ribbing my friends or bluntly putting down their opinions. Because I was so hurt by their ribbing and put-downs, I just assumed they would feel the same if I did it to them. And when I do display this route of empathy, it always seems to backfire, and I end up feeling weak and unconfident, like a schmuck.

But I think that's been the wrong way for a man that wants to thrive in our American culture. Other men may simply not care as much as I do about these confrontations, so maybe I just need to flip my perception of such confrontations. And perhaps a nuanced point; I can't really say with confidence that these confrontations have occurred frequently on serious, somber topics. They are usually arguments that don't matter or ribbing over silly mistakes that any human being would make, but I've taken them seriously because "if they make fun of me for anything, I have no value or I feel dumb and degraded".

Perhaps the best course of action to take in response to "normal human silliness" on my part is humorous self-degradation, or just simply acceptance of my absurd silliness and gaffes. And when other men make their own gaffes, I can laugh at their silliness as well. And some arguments really don't matter at all, if their topic does not personally affect either party. Some things are just not that serious, and don't need to be taken seriously.

I'm constantly caught between considering others (because I like to think I genuinely do) and not giving a rat's ass about their feelings.
I often feel when I DO consider others, it's almost as if they see it as a signal of weakness and/ or they don't care about considering me OR they can simply take advantage of my kindness.

If I'm considerate and kind towards a person (doesn't really matter what gender they are) and I feel I don't get it in return... my heart just hardens into granite. To the point where (and this is not intentional, I am most likely an easy person to read because I can't really hide my emotions very well) it becomes obvious I don't care about their feelings.

The thing is, I'll get along with just about anyone. I'll show you respect, courtesy and kindness as a default.
If I don't get it in return, I 'flip' to not caring (and pretty much disliking them) almost instantly.

So I feel for you mate, I can empathize with you from my experiences... it can be a real struggle.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I was hanging out with some people the other day having a good time, but have started to notice that one of my fellow compatriots really likes to argue his viewpoints. I notice that a lot of guys do this; they are so sure in their opinions and are loud about them. I've never understood this mindset, because so many strong opinions are very generally easily debunked or lead to very gray areas. The striving toward "always being right" can be extremely fucking annoying. Anyway, it escalated into a tense verbal battle between us, I suppose. And eventually it sort of turned into good-natured male ribbing over the few hours we all hung out. But I'm still kind of annoyed by his behavior.

But it seems that the "healthy" male is usually okay with male ribbing and confrontation. And that I am not "healthy" because I can't take a lashing to my precious ego, or stand my viewpoints being challenged in open debate. Never have.

I always, always try to consider the other's feelings, which is why I've always felt uncomfortable with ribbing my friends or bluntly putting down their opinions. Because I was so hurt by their ribbing and put-downs, I just assumed they would feel the same if I did it to them. And when I do display this route of empathy, it always seems to backfire, and I end up feeling weak and unconfident, like a schmuck.

But I think that's been the wrong way for a man that wants to thrive in our American culture. Other men may simply not care as much as I do about these confrontations, so maybe I just need to flip my perception of such confrontations. And perhaps a nuanced point; I can't really say with confidence that these confrontations have occurred frequently on serious, somber topics. They are usually arguments that don't matter or ribbing over silly mistakes that any human being would make, but I've taken them seriously because "if they make fun of me for anything, I have no value or I feel dumb and degraded".

Perhaps the best course of action to take in response to "normal human silliness" on my part is humorous self-degradation, or just simply acceptance of my absurd silliness and gaffes. And when other men make their own gaffes, I can laugh at their silliness as well. And some arguments really don't matter at all, if their topic does not personally affect either party. Some things are just not that serious, and don't need to be taken seriously.

I'm not sure from your post if you need to have the last word or not in an argument, but since a lot of humans actually need it, I find that not needing it can make your life a little easier. Because, as you put it yourself, a lot of people just like to argue for the sake of arguing. I personally find that, with most people, after 3 minutes of conversation, everything have been said on both sides of the argument and the rest of the conversation is just going in circle. So I usually let them vomit everything they need to vomit and go: "interesting. I guess I'll have to think about it."

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

 

[Miserum]

If I'm considerate and kind towards a person (doesn't really matter what gender they are) and I feel I don't get it in return... my heart just hardens into granite. To the point where (and this is not intentional, I am most likely an easy person to read because I can't really hide my emotions very well) it becomes obvious I don't care about their feelings.

This happened to me a couple of days ago. Then the person tried to act like nothing happened. LOL. What an idiot.

Suffice it to say, I'm not going go out of my way to be nice to this person any longer.

 

[Miserum]

I'm not sure from your post if you need to have the last word or not in an argument, but since a lot of humans actually need it, I find that not needing it can make your life a little easier. Because, as you put it yourself, a lot of people just like to argue for the sake of arguing. I personally find that, with most people, after 3 minutes of conversation, everything have been said on both sides of the argument and the rest of the conversation is just going in circle. So I usually let them vomit everything they need to vomit and go: "interesting. I guess I'll have to think about it."

I don't necessarily need the last word, but it's nice to have. I realize the immaturity of it, hence why I don't feel like I need it; it just irks me when I don't get it... but only when I know I'm 100% in the right (this is usually in terms of arguments regarding facts, as philosophical stances tend to get very, very gray). I generally do my research before forming strong opinions, and even then I try not to hold those beliefs too strongly, because I realize there is always room for error. What really pisses me off are people that don't do their research or don't think things through, and feel that they are 100% justified in their opinions and that anyone that thinks otherwise is a moron. It's funny to watch them shut their loud mouths when they realize they are wrong.

I've tried being the bigger man and just letting it go, but I always feel weakened by it, and I feel I've lost face if it's in a public setting. If it is in a public setting, I believe people will take you less seriously if you tend to concede all the time, especially the person you've been debating. And then if you see that person again and again and again, they feel they can just tell you how to live your life because you always concede to their opinion.

When I said this:

But it seems that the "healthy" male is usually okay with male ribbing and confrontation. And that I am not "healthy" because I can't take a lashing to my precious ego, or stand my viewpoints being challenged in open debate. Never have.

By "not being able to take a lashing or stand a challenge to my viewpoints" I meant that verbal confrontation makes me very nervous because it's a fast-paced, chaotic, social situation, usually with an audience. You have to think quickly and sharply. And I have social anxiety (duh). So this makes the debate 100x more difficult for me to tolerate. And 100x more likely that I'll be embarrassed or humiliated.

Because of this added pressure, I always feel like I'm holding up several tons of bricks while I'm arguing, and always feel like I'm on the verge of "losing" because of it. This is annoying because I know that if we were to sit down and actually write out our points, I'd very likely be right. I'm much better at writing out my thoughts because there is very little pressure there. I'm good at picking out and sorting the details of arguments in writing. In person it's more of a chaotic mess. And I can't handle it, whereas I think many other men can (though that doesn't lead to the inevitable conclusion that their arguments are right, just that they are better at handling pressure than I).

I think if I were to somehow tame this panic that inevitably overcomes me during a debate, I'd make a pretty fierce debater.

But like I stated in my previous post, maybe it just ain't that serious. Some arguments are dumb and maybe don't warrant the amount of weight and attention I've been giving them all my life. Not all arguments are created equally. Maybe I just need to flip my perception.

 

[Miserum]

I feel like I use this social media platform a lot. It's funny to think of this place as "social" media given the nature of its content.

So, it's kind of addictive, and thus, may be counterproductive to my productivity. I might need to lessen my frequency of reading and making posts.