I am officially...

MaliceInWickedland

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
The absolute biggest loser that ever lived. Seriously. How can anyone, in a short 17 year lifetime, possibly pick as many horrible people to be her "friends" as I have???

This is probably going to sound completely stupid because it's facebook-related but I just discovered something I really wish I hadn't...

So I have... well, HAD a friend who was best friends with one of my ex's who cheated on me in one of the worst ways possible, but that's a different story and I won't get into detail on that. Anyway, I was scrolling through the wall posts and noticed my friend had left an eye-catching comment on my ex's post about "this girl from the past". So I started reading through it and slowly started to realize that I was this "girl from the past" he was referring to.

He was basically rambling about how I apparently "didn't give him enough attention" and there were a bunch of replies from his other friends, then I saw my friend's comment which said: "Aren't you glad I hooked you up with Angela?" - the girl he cheated on me with...

...

I am quite amazed right now. I mean really, don't I have some of the absolute greatest friends in the world? :)
 
pebblesdundee

pebblesdundee

1
Wow, they're obviously not good enough for you, I'm just sory you had to find out this way. If you ever need to talk, I'll listen :)
 
IGotSeoul

IGotSeoul

Well-known member
That's rough, I'm sorry.

It's only one friend though, right? In the end it is up to you when it comes to who you want to associate with.
 
Hero

Hero

Well-known member
My friends of 5 years stopped talking to me because they thought I stole something from them at a party.

You are not a big loser. You just pick the wrong type of friends
 
upndwn

upndwn

Well-known member
The "dickery" people engages in never ceases to amaze me. I'm so pissed at people that toy with others emotion like this. I have had my share of heartbreak and disappointment with similar people and know how hurtful things like this can be.

You are better than those people Malice, and you deserve better. From reading your posts here you come out to me as a sound, sweet and honest person, exactly the kind of person parasites like these likes to come off on. Don't let them get to you. You are way better than them. You don't have to trample on other people to prove yourself.
 
Nanita

Nanita

Well-known member
Hey you´re not a loser...!
God, horrible story!
Your "friend" is far out.

I don´t believe that we consciously pick our friends, I believe that we are attracted to people (friends, partners) and gain experiences and life lessons through meetings and relations with diferent people.
 
HeadFace

HeadFace

Well-known member
MaliceInWickedland said:
The absolute biggest loser that ever lived. Seriously. How can anyone, in a short 17 year lifetime, possibly pick as many horrible people to be her "friends" as I have???

This is probably going to sound completely stupid because it's facebook-related but I just discovered something I really wish I hadn't...

So I have... well, HAD a friend who was best friends with one of my ex's who cheated on me in one of the worst ways possible, but that's a different story and I won't get into detail on that. Anyway, I was scrolling through the wall posts and noticed my friend had left an eye-catching comment on my ex's post about "this girl from the past". So I started reading through it and slowly started to realize that I was this "girl from the past" he was referring to.

He was basically rambling about how I apparently "didn't give him enough attention" and there were a bunch of replies from his other friends, then I saw my friend's comment which said: "Aren't you glad I hooked you up with Angela?" - the girl he cheated on me with...

...

I am quite amazed right now. I mean really, don't I have some of the absolute greatest friends in the world? :)
Click to expand...
You are not the loser in this situation at all. It sounds like your ex and "friends" are though... Don't beat yourself up because of others. Your friends sound like completely selfish and immature jerks, with no values at all. Even if the part about you not giving him attention was true (and I'm not implying it is), still wouldn't justify cheating on you.

Anyway I can relate... All of the "friends" I've made, have turned out to be horrid people, and in the end reject me anyway, and make me feel like I really don't belong anywhere.

Don't let them bring you down, they don't deserve that much. And hey, I'll be a friend if you want ::eek::
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear that happened. It's horrible when you think you know someone so well, enough for them to be a really good friend, and then you find out they're really not a good person at all. I know it's easy to kick yourself over something like this, but don't. You didn't know, plain and simple. That doesn't make you stupid or a "loser."

While I can't really relate to your situation, I can certainly say that I know the feeling, and it just sucks. Tbh, you're probably better off without either one of them. I've recently cut ties on a "friend" and I actually feel quite better.
 
HeadFace

HeadFace

Well-known member
Phoenixx said:
I'm sorry to hear that happened. It's horrible when you think you know someone so well, enough for them to be a really good friend, and then you find out they're really not a good person at all. I know it's easy to kick yourself over something like this, but don't. You didn't know, plain and simple. That doesn't make you stupid or a "loser."

While I can't really relate to your situation, I can certainly say that I know the feeling, and it just sucks. Tbh, you're probably better off without either one of them. I've recently cut ties on a "friend" and I actually feel quite better.
Click to expand...
Exactly. I had a few friends I felt extremely close to.
But then one of them flat out told me I was a "bad friend" and that I was apperently trash talking abot her. WTF? Okay, I called her immature once behind her back, when we got in a fight. But just for that, she decides to wait about 3 monthes later to bring it up and then ignore me for those 3 months. She also told me that she didnt like being around me and that I needed to get some friends.
Another one has just been using me and talking to me only when she wants something. But where was she when I needed support? Where was she when I was just completely cut off from the rest of the world? Where was she when I was going through tough times? Where was she when I felt like going out? Or when I just felt like talking about my day... And I've GLADLY been avoiding her for the passed week or so.

I think you should do the same and just avoid contact with them. People like that arent friends.
 
MaliceInWickedland

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
Saying "thank you" can't justify my gratitude to you guys and I couldn't thank you enough for all the reassuring things you've said thus far. And yeah, I thought she was a friend but I obviously thought wrong. I'm glad she's out of my life now. It would have been a lot worse later on in life if I was still friends with her and she inflicted even more damage to me and my self-esteem so in a way today's experience turned out to have some good outcome, as painful as it was. But hey, that's just life. You live and you learn, mostly the hard way, but learn nonetheless...

Well anyway, thanks again everyone! I greatly appreciate all your kind remarks. I honestly don't know where I'd be without you SPW :)
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
There is absolutely no excuse for cheating and anyone who will justify their actions by blaming the other party obviously has some issues that need to be dealt with.
As for friends saying or doing things that hurt you... I've experienced this alot.
I don't really have any 'friends' > I'll address acquaintances as friends but I don't trust people enough to truly look at them as such. I learned the hard way, like you did- that alot of people (especially in their youth) are stupid and do hurtful things to people they are 'friends' with.

You just have to look at it like this:
Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare
False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.

There are many 'fake' people out there. Many.
There are also alot of stupid people who don't think before they post something on facebook or say something out loud.
It doesn't make you stupid for believing in people - maybe naive; but there's nothing wrong with wanting to trust in people whom you assume have your best interest at heart. All you can do is pick yourself up- stand up for yourself and find someone better.

You're a good person.
I think someone would be lucky to have a friend like you.
It's her loss- not yours; it will never be your loss.
 
JonnyD

JonnyD

Well-known member
well you're wrong , i think i'm the biggest loser, a few years ago i never had lost, nor won...
then i lost a lot of times, i was denied , ignored and shuted down, i was called a loser for failing so many times, i lost friends , lost many love interest, i lost a steady job... i lost so many things...

but i'm glad i lost so many times, because in the process i lost my biases, many fears, most of my shyness, i lost the self pitty, and i stoped caring so much about the people who didnt wanted me well... in the end losing was the best thing that happened to me, because by losing, i won a lot, now i know who really care about me, now i have a job where i make money for myself, i won much confidence.

what i want to say is losing feels crappy, but is the only way to grow...


"I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying"


"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." -Michael Jordan
 
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