How to tell someone about your anxiety

[chris11]

Hello. So I was just wondering how one would go about confining to someone that they have an anxiety disorder. Obviously it wouldn't be appropiate to just give the person the information at any given time; it must be done in an appropiate setting. So, post your ideas....

 

[Sial Axetder]

You may be correct here. Have always told myself better to speak it than keep it. Of course I end up keeping it.

I told someone when they more or less drove over me with how unusual I really was. Not in a nice way. This person understood almost instantly. More of an example than idea. Maybe it can serve as both.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

it can kinda speak for itself. when you feel anxious about something, just say you feel anxious. not like, "i have to tell you, i have social anxiety disorder" sounds odd..but just be yourself, just saying what i would do..

 

[zav943]

I've been very vocal about that lately, having told at least 3 people in the last month about it. I just start up by telling them about a recent event in which I experienced social anxiety, and then I start talking about how I feel unloved by everyone around me, how I hate being nice to people but getting nothing in return, how I hate being single, etc... (I don't whine about ALL these things, just one or two at a time)

Usually, they have nothing to say back to me and they can't really relate, but they try to offer some advice.

 

[Kiwong]

I made a post on my blog explaining what I suffer from.

 

[zav943]

I made a post on my blog explaining what I suffer from.

I'd be interested to see that. Link?

 

[Kinetik]

To be honest, I've had nothing but bad experiences when trying to explain my anxiety. After having a few unrewarding conversations with people, I realized that it's either misunderstood or perceived as a cop-out of some sort - like I'm coming up with excuses as to why I'm not participating in life. There are very few people who realize the gravity of having a severe anxiety problem. They either disregard it as something minor, or they claim to "get nervous as well" sometimes. In any case, it got to the point where I decided not to mention it in the real world if I could help it. That was about a year ago. Obviously it's up to you if you decide to share it with others, but do know that not everyone will fully get where you're coming from.

 

[Kiwong]

Most of the relevant posts are on this page of my blog.

Quinkin's Blog: a place of running dreams come true

 

[Skog]

You should be careful in deciding if you are going to tell anyone, who you tell, and how you tell it.

I thought about it for 2 years before I finally decided I would tell 2 work friends I thought would be helpful and supportive. I gave them about a dozen pages of material I selected describing my disorder. I was devasted when neither one said anything to be about it for a week. When I brought it up, both seemed uncomfortable. One of them thought I should get medication from a doctor. The other one just didn't seem to know what to say. Neither one avoided me, nor made fun of me, nor as far as I know repeated my disclosure to anyone else, but they had no interest in being part of my efforts to get better. I withdrew further for awhile. I still feel like they are friends, but not the close friends I thought or hoped they were. Currently I am coping fairly well, but I doubt I will ever share that kind of information again.

In hindsight, I think attaching a mental health diagnosis to the problem was a mistake. If I had just made some effort to describe my anxious feelings, and the circumstances that bring them on, and asked these two people to try to understand that was why I sometimes might act oddly and that I was trying to overcome those feelings and would appreciate their help, I think the reaction would have been different.

 

[zav943]

You should be careful in deciding if you are going to tell anyone, who you tell, and how you tell it.

I thought about it for 2 years before I finally decided I would tell 2 work friends I thought would be helpful and supportive. I gave them about a dozen pages of material I selected describing my disorder. I was devasted when neither one said anything to be about it for a week. When I brought it up, both seemed uncomfortable. One of them thought I should get medication from a doctor. The other one just didn't seem to know what to say. Neither one avoided me, nor made fun of me, nor as far as I know repeated my disclosure to anyone else, but they had no interest in being part of my efforts to get better. I withdrew further for awhile. I still feel like they are friends, but not the close friends I thought or hoped they were. Currently I am coping fairly well, but I doubt I will ever share that kind of information again.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I've told teachers because it was necessary... I just had to walk up to them and state "I don't hand my essays in BECAUSE..... I have social anxiety". it's extremely awkward, It just doesn't get more awkward than that, especially when one of the teachers goes "Well...... you know.... I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that..........". When I spoke to my english chal. teacher she told me she wished I told her before I failed the year so that she could have helped me with it... -sigh- so sometimes it is necessary..

Sometimes when you tell people, they tell you all the people they know who have it also, which is always reassuring.. I told a friend I used to have that I had it, and it turns out her best friend, boyfriend, and older sister have it.

 

[Kiwong]

I was the same I had to tell people or I was going to avoid doing something that I loved.

There were those I told who had family members who had this condtion. There are those who suffer from mental illness of their own. I've raised nearly 800 dollars for my charity run for depression and anxiety.

You do get people who are supportive, and they are the ones who you reach out to to help you get through when it is absolutely necessary.

Of course there are people who are not supportive or don't care. And the first few days after I told people was frigthtening. I thought what have I done?

That phase has settled down, and I think it was probably the best thing I coud've done.

 

[AutonomousAutomaton]

I usually just say "I'm shy." I told someone once that I had social phobia and she thought it wasn't a real thing. Sheesh. You can imagine how that made me feel.

 

[DekKO]

I had a chance to tell my mom I have SA the other day but I just told her nothing is wrong. Suprisingly, I don't regret it. But it would be nice to tell someone other than you guys.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

i'm really open about my anxiety disorder... i mean, i don't run around telling random strangers, but all of my friends know i have anxiety attacks and that i'm working on overcoming agoraphobia. in my info on my blog it says i have GAD/agoraphobia.... when it comes to talking about it, i basically just say something if i'm feeling something... if i'm hanging out with friends and feel anxiety, i just say "i feel anxious" and give a pouty face, haha, then they try to help me think about other things so i can get through the panic attack.... last weekend i was going to this new guy's house to meet him/hang out and i stopped by my friend's (3 of my guy friends are roomies) house to calm down before i went to that guys house.. i ended up texting him like "i'm nervousss" and he was like "don't be nervous! it's just me and i'm a little nervous, too" so anyway i got there and just told him i get bad anxiety about random things and that was the end of it, haha... i guess i just talk about it casually with people i know, i'm not at all insecure about it, and i don't try to hide it, it's just a part of who i am right now and i just don't care for anyone who would have some kind of a problem with it anyway....

 

[friendchen]

I told my teacher about my anxiety about two weeks ago..coz I have to make discussions with him and I couldn't discuss becoz of my over self-consciousness and other bla..bla,..bla.

So I wrote an email about how I feel uneasy talking to him..and the reply was like he doesn't think I feel uneasy around him and I just need to read more and I am totally normal but a little imaginary..and he also said he would make me smarter..even the smartest! ..That's it..

Now hoping for the next discussions..hope I would feel quite relax to be really talkative when the time comes..

 

[Skog]

zav943 - How did I make you mad? It was not my intention.

 

[dottie]

i don't like using the word "disorder" with people. it's just too intense and offputting. just tell them you are an anxious person. they will get it.

if you are falling behind in college SA does count as a disability. it is important to speak to a school counselor or advisor if it is that bad. they can help you communicate this with your teacher and work through it. i haven't done this but i should have in the beginning. i didn't know better, though.