How Learning To Look AT Your Thoughts, Rather Than FROM Them, Is The Key

[niceguyJosh]

Do you know that you are not your mind? Really. Think About that one. You are not you thoughts or your emotions. But When you are having scared thoughts, you think that it's you. It's not. And you know what, you are something much more that those things. You are something much deeper. You are an eternal being inhabiting this body much like a space man inside of a space suit. and let me tell you, this space suit has some pretty intense desires. Most primary and strong are:

1. The desire to SURVIVE
2. The desire to reproduce and have little space suits. (LOL!)
3. The desire to conserve energy

If you think back to many years ago when it was really a whole lot harder to survive, it was a very handy thing to be able to sense danger of anything pertaining to your survival. Which is why it was also pretty handy to have a healthy fear of things that were potential dangers to your survival. You'd see the tiger, your nervous system would immediately pump you full of idrenilin, and this would get your butt moving away from the danger in no time fast! Those who never developed this, do not exist today BECAUSE THEY WERE WEEDED OUT OF EXISTENCE!

Today, in 2012, we no longer face things like having to kill wild beasts with our bare hands, or fight other humans to the death for scarce resources. But the fact remains that we still are wired biologicly and emotionaly for exactly that time period!

What you call, "shyness", is nothing more than your bodys programming doing it's best to keep you alive! Do you understand that? Maybe you might even want to give yourself a pat on the back next time you feel even more shy that usual an say to yourself, "Thank You. I Know You Are Just Doing What You Think Is Best For My Survival." It sounds silly, and it is! Shyness IS silly. But you know what's even more silly than that? When you believe that YOU ARE shy, or that you are your shyness. Like I said earlier, you're not your mind, and your not you're emotions. You're something much deeper.

 

[Engulfed707]

thank you josh for posting this, it really made me feel good my mind and body doesn't deserve the crud i give it sometimes Haha. just have to be mad at something else...

 

[lonelee1]

Do you know that you are not your mind? Really. Think About that one. You are not you thoughts or your emotions. But When you are having scared thoughts, you think that it's you. It's not. And you know what, you are something much more that those things. You are something much deeper. You are an eternal being inhabiting this body much like a space man inside of a space suit. and let me tell you, this space suit has some pretty intense desires. Most primary and strong are:

1. The desire to SURVIVE
2. The desire to reproduce and have little space suits. (LOL!)
3. The desire to conserve energyou

If you think back to many years ago when it was really a whole lot harder to survive, it was a very handy thing to be able to sense danger of anything pertaining to your survival. Which is why it was also pretty handy to have a healthy fear of things that were potential dangers to your survival. You'd see the tiger, your nervous system would immediately pump you full of idrenilin, and this would get your butt moving away from the danger in no time fast! Those who never developed this, do not exist today BECAUSE THEY WERE WEEDED OUT OF EXISTENCE!

Today, in 2012, we no longer face things like having to kill wild beasts with our bare hands, or fight other humans to the death for scarce resources. But the fact remains that we still are wired biologicly and emotionaly for exactly that time period!

What you call, "shyness", is nothing more than your bodys programming doing it's best to keep you alive! Do you understand that? Maybe you might even want to give yourself a pat on the back next time you feel even more shy that usual an say to yourself, "Thank You. I Know You Are Just Doing What You Think Is Best For My Survival." It sounds silly, and it is! Shyness IS silly. But you know what's even more silly than that? When you believe that YOU ARE shy, or that you are your shyness. Like I said earlier, you're not your mind, and your not you're emotions. You're something much deeper.

Interesting to use evolutionary theory as a model for shyness. I agree to a far extent, but, you do have to consider social factors in this one. I also agree that we are indeed not or thoughts or emotions all of the time. Shyness, avoidance, introversion, are complex, especially to the individual in relation to society. What you have here is a good model for anxiety and stress (fight/flight response)I think.

But you're right, we are prone to many cognitive distortions, and separating ourselves
From intrusive thoughts or emotions helps quite a bit.
, but I admit its very hard to do it sometimes.

 

[laure15]

That's a nice philosophical piece there. But it's easier said than done.

 

[Falkor]

It's very interesting, I like it thanks for posting.

Though society has grown, to a social place. I think our intuition has grown deeper. I mean if we didn't communicate, just said BOO-HOO, to eachother, wouldn't be much fun.

On the other hand, it would be, because my pet cats and dogs, always live on their instinct and they don't get bored by watching out of the window all day, and they like being quiet just like meditating all day, what a relaxing attitude, cats and dogs!

Though, I seriously think, that in that time, indeed, we had fear and lots of things, but we also felt love, we also had to cry when stuff happened, I'm sure. So emotions has always been there, though, it still occurs with situations, but the body does produce it off the fact ''what happens'' ''what invironment'' ''what you think/like/dislike''. so basically we can re-program anything we want. so it's all a matter of thoughts, preferences, emotions, it's all set up, but that you are not your emotions, when you are shy, could be that indeed it's just a fake thing because it's what the mind tells ya because of past experiences, while the brain should be re-programmed because this situation could not even lead to the same, there are thousands of outcomes. so you're so right. all though it's so deep that it's very good to think of. that it's not our personal thing, shyness, it's just the brain is programmed because of things and not because of our own character ?

The emotion shyness, about not being you, is a very good one to look at, I really like your point of view. It goes indeed much deeper. Shyness, goes from past experiences, it comes with nature, it comes with thoughts (alot) and it comes with the --fight-flight-- mode and the --courage-- you have even though you don't wanna admit, you are fearful of --situations-- --type...your situation--

so basically, the shyness keeps producing, when we see a situation that we are afraid of.

Maybe, indeed if we were still like those homoerectus (that's what they call the old generation people without developed now, lke the homosapiens) that we indeed, acted like, ''I just grab it'' and just hitted on a sexy person without saying hi. (LOL) i'm just joking. but could be.

Or just dance with monkeys in the school canteen, yeah, that could've been something nice.

Well, anyways, Shyness is a b*tch. And as far what I can read, I think it really makes sense!

 

[Sacrament]

you're not your mind, and your not you're emotions.

whoa.

whoa.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Yes we are our thoughts and emotions. How can we not be? We have them so they are a part of who we are. Cannot say we are not them.

We think, we do.
We feel, we are.

 

[gustavofring]

This kind of reminds me of Eckhart Tolle's teachings. In fact, it's almost exactly that. He also talks about observing the ego.

Eckhart Tolle "The false I and the real I" - YouTube

It's basically "watch your emotions, watch your mind, watch your thoughts" so that you can be compassionate with them and not be fully identified and immersed in them.

I found it interesting, but I've never really was able to hold onto it.

 

[TheTemp]

Very interesting post. I felt a tingly sense of liberation when I read that I am not my thoughts or feelings. Now, to apply this to real life...

 

[niceguyJosh]

Yes we are our thoughts and emotions. How can we not be? We have them so they are a part of who we are. Cannot say we are not them.

We think, we do.
We feel, we are.

yes i know it's quite a confusing statement and i completely understand why you would disagree. what i am illustrating here is that WE are the ones "driving the bus" so to speak. our thoughts and emotions are sort of like back seat passengers yelling at us to "turn right!" or, "go FASTER."

see, those things are not us. they are your bodies cognitive system

does that make sense?

 

[niceguyJosh]

Very interesting post. I felt a tingly sense of liberation when I read that I am not my thoughts or feelings. Now, to apply this to real life...

yeah, awesome. a good book that has changed me in this area is

"get out of you mind and into your life"

it's a very effective workbook.

 

[Ignace]

Good post.

 

[Sial Axetder]

yes i know it's quite a confusing statement and i completely understand why you would disagree. what i am illustrating here is that WE are the ones "driving the bus" so to speak. our thoughts and emotions are sort of like back seat passengers yelling at us to "turn right!" or, "go FASTER."

see, those things are not us. they are your bodies cognitive system

does that make sense?

No not really.

If I feel I want to go faster then I will push on the gas pedal a little more. That's me. I feel I must go faster but really don't want to then I use logic to dismantle the emotion/feeling. That's me. Everything we do is who we are.

We think and feel. Its almost as if you are saying there is some other THING that is supposed to control thoughts and feelings?

 

[satstrn]

Could it be that we are trying to avoid ostracism/banishment? Before the Neolithic Revolution, we lived as small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers, and to be ostracized from the group meant to face the wilderness alone (read: death). Thus, we all have a predisposed necessity to fit in with the larger group despite the fact that this no longer means death.

I think people with social anxiety and extreme shyness learned these behaviors during childhood/adolescence in which they were ostracized/made fun of/humiliated in front of a group. The fear that most of us feel when putting ourselves out there and risking rejection is actually similar to the fear of eventual death (I've heard it described this way before by numerous people). So I guess our analysis of risk/reward is skewed; since there is arguably no reward that is worth risking ostracism (and therefore death) for, we avoid putting ourselves out there like we avoid the plague. Just my thoughts.

My question is can we actually overcome these limiting beliefs? My guess is yes, because while the need to survive is evolutionary, the beliefs that keep us from taking risks are learned and therefore reversible.

 

[LifeInternal88]

Do you know that you are not your mind? Really. Think About that one. You are not you thoughts or your emotions.

I like this. I read about these sort of ideas a few years ago (mostly from Eckhart Tolle's research) . They were freeing, until I forgot about it.

Could it be that we are trying to avoid ostracism/banishment? Before the Neolithic Revolution, we lived as small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers, and to be ostracized from the group meant to face the wilderness alone (read: death). Thus, we all have a predisposed necessity to fit in with the larger group despite the fact that this no longer means death.

I think people with social anxiety and extreme shyness learned these behaviors during childhood/adolescence in which they were ostracized/made fun of/humiliated in front of a group. The fear that most of us feel when putting ourselves out there and risking rejection is actually similar to the fear of eventual death (I've heard it described this way before by numerous people). So I guess our analysis of risk/reward is skewed; since there is arguably no reward that is worth risking ostracism (and therefore death) for, we avoid putting ourselves out there like we avoid the plague. Just my thoughts.

My question is can we actually overcome these limiting beliefs? My guess is yes, because while the need to survive is evolutionary, the beliefs that keep us from taking risks are learned and therefore reversible.

I like this too.

I think it is possible. I just haven't been able to do it for more than a few days. My old self returns, slowing, till it takes over and I forget completly about these ideas, which at some level I do believe.

 

[laure15]

yes i know it's quite a confusing statement and i completely understand why you would disagree. what i am illustrating here is that WE are the ones "driving the bus" so to speak. our thoughts and emotions are sort of like back seat passengers yelling at us to "turn right!" or, "go FASTER."

see, those things are not us. they are your bodies cognitive system

does that make sense?

If we are not our thoughts, our emotions, or our mind, then what are we? Are we the soul/spirit? And what exactly is the soul/spirit?
I just have a hard time imagining myself without thoughts, emotions, mind, or personality. If I don't have any of these, I will feel like a robot.

 

[MentalAudit]

To suggest that we are not things serves only to give us the power to distinguish ourselves from aspects we are not comfortable with. We will invariably find subjective connections to thoughts or feelings we react to negatively and suggest, these are not me. Perhaps indeed they are not, but it is also possible to suggest that nothing is you as your existence can be divided and deconstructed until you find patterns found in anyone else.

It is the machine, the parts of the machine and the ghost in the shell that goes together in making us who we are. To be clear, body gives us identity, thoughts/feelings give us identity and together they provide us with the experience of being a ...human being.

To feel is considered a key aspect of human nature, to suggest when you feel warmth or are witnessing someone feeling love and affection that you would suggest that that is not who that person is, would be correct, though I think a more accurate suggestion would be that the emotion they are feeling at this time and in this place is not all they are.

To put it simply, you can suggest you are not your feelings, at times you feel or think things which you don't think encompass who you are. You can also suggest that your body is not who you are, at times you appear or are that which you don't think properly conveys who 'you' are. That's fine because they are both parts of which go together to make up who you are. Why can't "the bodies cognitive system" be a part of us? Must we be conscious and aware for something to be a part of us? In which case what of the subconscious? is that therefore not part of us because we are not conscious of it by definition? If the body tells you that you're balanced when you keep falling over or bumping into things, a part of who you are is clumsy, or poor sighted/disorientated in general at least for that time and that goes towards your experience as a human. The exact makeup, which as I said we can not 100% know, will change based on the context depending on what you needed yesterday, or for a year, or even for a decade in light of the cycles you grow or receed/stagnate through.

That being said (excuse me if I'm dragging this out) the notion that we should observe these things about us and how we react to them is certainly important in our learning about ourselves. In learning our flaws and strengths, from our mistakes in general. Of course doing such to an extreme, as it would doing just about anything to extreme, is detrimental.

 

[niceguyJosh]

Could it be that we are trying to avoid ostracism/banishment? Before the Neolithic Revolution, we lived as small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers, and to be ostracized from the group meant to face the wilderness alone (read: death). Thus, we all have a predisposed necessity to fit in with the larger group despite the fact that this no longer means death.

I think people with social anxiety and extreme shyness learned these behaviors during childhood/adolescence in which they were ostracized/made fun of/humiliated in front of a group. The fear that most of us feel when putting ourselves out there and risking rejection is actually similar to the fear of eventual death (I've heard it described this way before by numerous people). So I guess our analysis of risk/reward is skewed; since there is arguably no reward that is worth risking ostracism (and therefore death) for, we avoid putting ourselves out there like we avoid the plague. Just my thoughts.

My question is can we actually overcome these limiting beliefs? My guess is yes, because while the need to survive is evolutionary, the beliefs that keep us from taking risks are learned and therefore reversible.

we're social creatures. what happened when you were kicked out of your small tribe of 10- 40 people thousands of years ago? DEATH. we still have the same psychological mechanisms inside of us even today

 

[niceguyJosh]

If we are not our thoughts, our emotions, or our mind, then what are we? Are we the soul/spirit? And what exactly is the soul/spirit?
I just have a hard time imagining myself without thoughts, emotions, mind, or personality. If I don't have any of these, I will feel like a robot.

we are consciousness. aka, spirit or soul. little self conscious thoughts and anxieties, that is your MIND.

 

[niceguyJosh]

To suggest that we are not things serves only to give us the power to distinguish ourselves from aspects we are not comfortable with. We will invariably find subjective connections to thoughts or feelings we react to negatively and suggest, these are not me. Perhaps indeed they are not, but it is also possible to suggest that nothing is you as your existence can be divided and deconstructed until you find patterns found in anyone else.

It is the machine, the parts of the machine and the ghost in the shell that goes together in making us who we are. To be clear, body gives us identity, thoughts/feelings give us identity and together they provide us with the experience of being a ...human being.

To feel is considered a key aspect of human nature, to suggest when you feel warmth or are witnessing someone feeling love and affection that you would suggest that that is not who that person is, would be correct, though I think a more accurate suggestion would be that the emotion they are feeling at this time and in this place is not all they are.

To put it simply, you can suggest you are not your feelings, at times you feel or think things which you don't think encompass who you are. You can also suggest that your body is not who you are, at times you appear or are that which you don't think properly conveys who 'you' are. That's fine because they are both parts of which go together to make up who you are. Why can't "the bodies cognitive system" be a part of us? Must we be conscious and aware for something to be a part of us? In which case what of the subconscious? is that therefore not part of us because we are not conscious of it by definition? If the body tells you that you're balanced when you keep falling over or bumping into things, a part of who you are is clumsy, or poor sighted/disorientated in general at least for that time and that goes towards your experience as a human. The exact makeup, which as I said we can not 100% know, will change based on the context depending on what you needed yesterday, or for a year, or even for a decade in light of the cycles you grow or receed/stagnate through.

That being said (excuse me if I'm dragging this out) the notion that we should observe these things about us and how we react to them is certainly important in our learning about ourselves. In learning our flaws and strengths, from our mistakes in general. Of course doing such to an extreme, as it would doing just about anything to extreme, is detrimental.

very well said. my purpose in posting this was simply to empower people to realize that dissitentifying with negative thinking, is the doorway out of it's intensity. but this cannot make sense logically until it's taken up as a daily practice