How do you shake off bad experiences?

[beals]

How do you deal with the feelings after instances where your social anxiety made you look like a complete fool? Especially when you have to face those same people again?

I try to shrug it off and act like it's no big deal, which works for a little while but then those bad feelings come back and I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay and not the end of the world.

 

[EasySkanking]

I know what that's like mate... I can't give you a good way to deal with it... But what I do is just try to forget about it and move on . Sometimes I beat myself up for it and end up doing something stupid... then I realize... wtf? Why should I be unhappy? I choose how I want to be... so I choose to be happy even though I "shouldn't" be

 

[Danfalc]

Maybe like Easy said,sometimes it's just best to move on,but that can be easier said than done as we tend to over analyze things .

One thing to try is what c.b.t teaches you to do,examine our thoughts and feelings from the situation,write them down.Then examine them and see if they are realistic..for every negative thought we have,you try and see if there is a more positive or realistic explanation.

A lot of the time I really do think the only people judging us as harshly as we think,our ourselves.Also despite how your anxiety may make you feel,try and remember that you did well to even put yourself in those situations in the first place.

 

[Honda]

2 words: **** Happens...

And it will always happens through out life... The more **** you get the more you learn and move ahead.. Some of us are unlucky and get alot of **** while others dont but life goes on and you can live with pain or live life itself.. Everybody feels what you feel so dont give it a big deal..

 

[LadyWench]

Honestly, I can't shake it. I know that doesn't help you. I'm sorry. I tend to obsess and focus on bad things that have happened. I'm quite the pessimist. If something embarrassing happens to me, I dwell on it for ages. I'm sure it has a lot to do with my lack of self-esteem. Hopefully you can tell yourself things to make the situation better. Try to get into the mindset of "it doesn't matter what other people think, or what they thought when this and that happened."

 

[Kiwong]

Recently, I tried to shake off a bad experience.

I had two options

1) avoidance
2) tell everyone I suffered from anxiety.

Option 2 was by far the toughest road to take, and I almost had a complete breakdown because of it. I think in some respects it has made things better for me, but the experiment is still in progress.

The bad experience has scarred me, and every time I return to fearful situation, the bad feelings return.

 

[Richey]

delusions of grandeur is seriously the only method i've found that is effective. otherwise i just obsess over neurotic moments that occur no matter what positive affirmations i tell myself the awkward moments usually come back and haunt me so deluding myself that they never happened seems to work. i still try and learn from the mistakes but its best to just pretend i'm still great and worthy living in the now.

 

[IamThisOne]

I usually try to explain to myself that it is okay. Doing that usually doesn't work so I just try to watch TV or something to keep my mind occupied.

 

[IAMN]

I remind myself that everybody is as naked and afraid as I am, and that everybody dies alone. This means I am in this world for myself and I must do what I feel to be most beneficial to me irregardless of what others might think or say. This means others' opinion of me dies. This means no matter how down or nervous I feel, it ends too. These are good things to me and helps a lot.

 

[zinc]

You know how they say what doesn't kill you makes you strong? Well, it applies here as well.

Think about it like this, when you first learned how to ride a bike did you fall? Perhaps you learned it at a much older age, felt embarrassed? We can not control the circumstances but we can control how to respond to them.

Just remember, 'the road to success is paved with failure'

 

[Devin]

I keep in mind that I'm only human and make mistakes. Don't allow a bad experience to get in the way of having new experiences...the next one may not be as bad. That's the only way you'll ever get over it...go out and try try again. Good luck

 

[Ran]

I've always had a difficult time dealing with negative experiences. I just try to mentally immerse myself in something positive, like thinking of how adorable my fish are (lol) or if I'm outside, looking up at the clouds helps me put things into perspective. Life's too short to be anxious and unhappy!

Despite all that though, I still occasionally become a bit of a wreck when I remember mistakes I've made in the past, even as a little kid. But the only way to deal with it I find, is to just keep moving forward and focus on the good things in life.

 

[SilverFire]

How do you deal with the feelings after instances where your social anxiety made you look like a complete fool? Especially when you have to face those same people again?

I try to shrug it off and act like it's no big deal, which works for a little while but then those bad feelings come back and I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay and not the end of the world.

It sucks major, but here's the deal: nobody will remember a few days from now, and when they do, it's as important to them as the driver that just cut them off. Our impressions and worries about what we did end up becoming much bigger than the actual event. It's like we're building our own tomb, brick by brick -- but we don't have to. I guess the biggest gift you can give yourself is forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes; it's part of learning and that's part of life. So learn from it and go on.

 

[Ran]

It sucks major, but here's the deal: nobody will remember a few days from now, and when they do, it's as important to them as the driver that just cut them off. Our impressions and worries about what we did end up becoming much bigger than the actual event. It's like we're building our own tomb, brick by brick -- but we don't have to. I guess the biggest gift you can give yourself is forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes; it's part of learning and that's part of life. So learn from it and go on.

^This. Brilliantly put!

 

[beals]

Wow, a lot of great responses in here! Thanks everyone for giving your advice

 

[R3K]

there's always somebody out there who's worse off...