How do you come to terms with feeling unattractive?

[hexagon_sun]

In my experience, feeling unattractive has more to do with how you feel on the inside rather than how you look on the outside. On this website I have seen countless drop-dead gorgeous people who are absolutely convinced, despite constant reassurance by others, that they are hideous! If you feel good on the inside, ultimately that's all that matters. People gravitate towards that. Even if your fugly. Believe me I've seen some really odd couples out there... :bigsmile: We need to concentrate on why we are broken on the inside...

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

In my experience, feeling unattractive has more to do with how you feel on the inside rather than how you look on the outside. On this website I have seen countless drop-dead gorgeous people who are absolutely convinced, despite constant reassurance by others, that they are hideous! If you feel good on the inside, ultimately that's all that matters. People gravitate towards that. Even if your fugly. Believe me I've seen some really odd couples out there... :bigsmile: We need to concentrate on why we are broken on the inside...

I remember this girl in college that I found unattractive. After getting to know her, I was very into her (EVERYONE WAS). She was so cool, witty and down to earth it made her very sexy and appealing.

My inner person sucks right now too.

 

[jaim38]

My dad just got called ugly this morning by some girls (sounded like teenage girls). I didn't look out the window to see, but I heard.

I'm a girl and I'm not attractive, but I learn to deal with it by thinking of it this way: at least other girls don't feel competitive around me. And I try to get people to notice my other traits (i.e. intelligence, humility) more.

 

[planemo]

My physical appearance has been a constant source of misery for me.
To be honest i haven't come to terms with it.
I suppose i never will.

 

[spearhunter]

I think you should change the way you think and value yourself, I personnally,now everytime
i look in the mirror i tell myself how beautiful i look, and I have been doing this for a few months. And now I start to believe it because it is all in my head.I personally think you should try and do the same.

 

[Hellhound]

If you've felt this way, how did you learn to not let these thoughts bother you, or at least minimize them?

To feel better with myself, I wear what I want, no matter how bizarre it might look to others. It makes me feel more comfortable.

I also starve myself to reach the weight I'm comfortable with. Being underweight makes me feel less ugly. This is unhealthy, though. Don't do it, guys.

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

By improving myself. Some nice clothes and a hair cut make a big difference. Change what you can change and accept what you can't : ).

 

[Lamb]

To feel better with myself, I wear what I want, no matter how bizarre it might look to others. It makes me feel more comfortable.

I also starve myself to reach the weight I'm comfortable with. Being underweight makes me feel less ugly. This is unhealthy, though. Don't do it, guys.

^ Use to do the starving when I was younger. Love food too much now to resort back, though it's tempting sometimes.

Thank you for the tips and experiences everyone. I'd try to reply to every post but I'd never be finished, lol.

 

[PhantomPod]

I haven't quite come to terms with it yet...

When I look in the mirror, I honestly think that I'm a badass and that I'm very good looking, but as soon as I leave the comfort of my own home I feel very self conscious and my confidence plummets. I am not a girly girl, I am more a tomboy, so I constantly feel ugly and anxious when I'm out in public because I don't fit what our idiotic society thinks of as traditionally female.

 

[rosewood]

mmm, this kinda makes me laugh- at myself. i sat and looked at several photos of myself over and over from every angle, and i had to finally come to the conclusion- yup, not attractive. i guess i can look a little fierce if i dont smile and i forget to smile when i am around people... however, i have my one saving grace. my entire being in a photo transforms comlpetley when i just THINK of my children. it as if my soul has popped outside my body and i am just glowing with radiant happiness. so, no, i am definitely not attractive. but i can emote joy like no other. :bigsmile:

 

[Subpop]

Didn't learn it (yet) but I like to believe that one day I won't hate looking at pictures and comparing myself to everyone else. One thing that made me feel more comfortable in my skin is taking better care of myself. Always making sure I have manicured nails for example and wearing eye make up. To be called attractive Id have to lose at least 5-7 kg but this way I make sure I still look ok to myself (on most days). Only started doing this once I moved out of my parents' house, dunno why.

The thing with old pictures is that as much as you might hate them now, in 30 years you'll be glad to have some kind of memory of your past. So maybe try to see the good times (which you hopefully had on some of them ) instead of just seeing what something inside you tells you to consider unattractive. :idontknow:

I developed BDD in my early teens and over the years I slowly went through family photo albums and destroyed each photo of me , and many photos of myself with others. My Dad has a few photos of when I was very young, then there is this gap until I was in my late twenties. I still feel very uneasy whenever I am to appear in a photo and never want to view the result. I posted a photo on here and it was one of the hardest things I have done for many years

 

[Silatuyok]

I came to terms with feeling unattractive through photography. I learned how to take self-portraits that I thought looked good. But it kind of backfired because now I'm convinced that I only look good in photos.

 

[Kiwong]

I am fifty years old, appearence becomes less important.

I get confidence in the way my body performs as a 50 year old not the way I look.