How do you come to terms with feeling unattractive?

Lamb

Lamb

Well-known member
I was browsing through some old photos of mine. It's no wonder I was bullied, I was hideous looking. It makes sense, was a big cause of SA. I'm aware looks aren't everything, but it has stuck with me for a long time. I do feel I've improved appearance wise since I was a teenager, but am still unattractive in some ways. I'd like to learn to just accept it.

If you've felt this way, how did you learn to not let these thoughts bother you, or at least minimize them? :sad:
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I don't know how you come to terms with that. It was in your past. I doubt you were ever close to hideous. What matters now is that you're an attractive woman.

P.S Plenty of good looking people get bullied. Bullying is done out of jealousy and/or insecurity.
 
Lamb

Lamb

Well-known member
ImNotMyIllness said:
I don't know how you come to terms with that. It was in your past. I doubt you were ever close to hideous. What matters now is that you're an attractive woman.

P.S Plenty of good looking people get bullied. Bullying is done out of jealousy and/or insecurity.
Click to expand...

Well you're doubting wrong. And it was because I was weaker, not envy. I've had male friends who despite having their perceived flaws, don't care. I want to reach that point.
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Kids will pick on the more timid or "weaker". You can't take that too personally. It's just kids being kids.

We all want to reach that point. I know what you mean.
 
selon

selon

Well-known member
Lamb said:
If you've felt this way, how did you learn to not let these thoughts bother you, or at least minimize them? :sad:
Click to expand...

Didn't learn it (yet) but I like to believe that one day I won't hate looking at pictures and comparing myself to everyone else. One thing that made me feel more comfortable in my skin is taking better care of myself. Always making sure I have manicured nails for example and wearing eye make up. To be called attractive Id have to lose at least 5-7 kg but this way I make sure I still look ok to myself (on most days). Only started doing this once I moved out of my parents' house, dunno why.

The thing with old pictures is that as much as you might hate them now, in 30 years you'll be glad to have some kind of memory of your past. So maybe try to see the good times (which you hopefully had on some of them :giggle: ) instead of just seeing what something inside you tells you to consider unattractive. :idontknow:
 
Lamb

Lamb

Well-known member
selon said:
Didn't learn it (yet) but I like to believe that one day I won't hate looking at pictures and comparing myself to everyone else. One thing that made me feel more comfortable in my skin is taking better care of myself. Always making sure I have manicured nails for example and wearing eye make up. To be called attractive Id have to lose at least 5-7 kg but this way I make sure I still look ok to myself (on most days). Only started doing this once I moved out of my parents' house, dunno why.

The thing with old pictures is that as much as you might hate them now, in 30 years you'll be glad to have some kind of memory of your past. So maybe try to see the good times (which you hopefully had on some of them :giggle: ) instead of just seeing what something inside you tells you to consider unattractive. :idontknow:
Click to expand...

Makeup and that sort of thing has helped. Don't like to feel dependent on it though, to which I have in the past. It is fun to do though. Thank you for sharing, maybe I can find another girly thing to do.

As for the old pictures, I look sad in most of them. But I'll remember that.
 
selon

selon

Well-known member
Lamb said:
Makeup and that sort of thing has helped. Don't like to feel dependent on it though, to which I have in the past. It is fun to do though. Thank you for sharing, maybe I can find another girly thing to do.

As for the old pictures, I look sad in most of them. But I'll remember that.
Click to expand...

It's not only about doing girly stuff with glittery eye shadow (though I admit it is fun sometimes :giggle: ) but about taking proper care of yourself. There's a difference between hiding behind make up and just making sure that you look taken care of (clean, manicured nails, trimmed eye brows etc). :)
 
skins

skins

1
i think most people become more self aware as we get older...we learn what makes ourselves look better and have the maturity to pick a style that suits us. When we're young we don't have any of that so looking back at photos we think "gawd what was i thinkin" ...i just accept that i hadn't of developed those thought processes at that age, but atleast now i have some kind of idea.
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
Did you once post a picture? I can´t remember it exactly, but I thought you were beautiful.
 
Plan9

Plan9

Active member
I think all women are beautful in some way (that sounds a bit hippy...)

I try to remember that, I have a lot of issues because I hate my teeth, and am a little fixated on it.
 
lyricalliaisons

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
I'm lucky that I have never felt unattractive. Even in my childhood and teen years when I was tortured over my weight, I never felt unattractive, just angry at my tormentors.
 
A

Amisiac

New member
It is worse for me. I know I am attractive, but do not have the social means to get any further. So I end up having attractive people making moves on me, and not being capable of doing anything about it. I end up hurting the girl, and feeling horrible.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top