S_Spartan
Well-known member
I think many people walk around with a raging case of GIGS all the time. I blame Facebook.
How do people get girlfriends/boyfriends so quickly?
- Thread starter SonicMan
- Start date
I think many people walk around with a raging case of GIGS all the time. I blame Facebook.
NamiraWilhelm
Well-known member
In my case it would be rebounding. There's no greater pain than heart ache and I've found the best distraction is a new person. But it's not fair on the new flame nor is it a solution... I'm staying single for a year in the hopes I'll stop my destructive relationship patterns. Here's hoping I actually make it lol
TheLonelyNomad
Member
Good question, to the OP.
Prior to being in my current relationship with my girlfriend, I used to be very frustrated that certain people had "skills" or characteristics or even the looks, to attract a girl or vice versa, a guy. And honestly, I was one of those guys who lacked the courage and skills to ask a girl out on a date or even tell her how attractive she is.
It seems like the "bad boy" type of men are the ones who seem to attract a lot of women. I don't know why.
For me, it was my anxiety and lack of making a continuous flow of conversation that made me lackluster in the dating pool/scene.
Even if I got those BS "oh you're so cute" praises from girls, esp back in high school, I would rate myself as average-joe looks. I still have to work out more at the gym. But find it hard to do so with my current job.
Prior to being in my current relationship with my girlfriend, I used to be very frustrated that certain people had "skills" or characteristics or even the looks, to attract a girl or vice versa, a guy. And honestly, I was one of those guys who lacked the courage and skills to ask a girl out on a date or even tell her how attractive she is.
It seems like the "bad boy" type of men are the ones who seem to attract a lot of women. I don't know why.
For me, it was my anxiety and lack of making a continuous flow of conversation that made me lackluster in the dating pool/scene.
Even if I got those BS "oh you're so cute" praises from girls, esp back in high school, I would rate myself as average-joe looks. I still have to work out more at the gym. But find it hard to do so with my current job.
MotherWolff
Banned
It does not bother me anymore to lack a relationship. I would rather wait for years than to jump into some bullshit, sweet talking guys arms who may turn his back on me the moment after he gets in my pants and rob me of my "goodies!":thumbdown::kickingmyself:
mg:
mg:TheLonelyNomad
Member
It's the person's physical looks and "reputation" that gains him or her more romantic partners. Yup, life sux and is totally unfair, esp for those who have been single for quite a while.
You're either liked or disliked. And there is also racial factors too, as the media pushes one racial group preference, over another group.
You're either liked or disliked. And there is also racial factors too, as the media pushes one racial group preference, over another group.
anomicdeer
Well-known member
Me either. I also don't know how mothers find a guy that's okay with them having a child. Even if they are pregnant. I think that is one reason keeping people away from me too.
Ithior
Well-known member
I think you give this too much importance and that might affect the way you interact with other people. I could be wrong of course, it's hard to understand someone's circumstances over the internet.
Megaten
Well-known member
Im willing to guess your friends are probably both good at holding a conversation and flirting without sending out red flags. Also if youre with your friends and they're not actively trying to help you they are your competition, be aware of that lol. I remember once a friend of mine brought a girl over he interested in and introduced her to the guys. He got drunk and went off to get food and one of his "friends" slept with her in his bed before he got back. mg:
mg:
AtTheGates
Banned
They probably have some type of social circle and know enough people of the opposite sex who are bascially waiting for an oppurtunity to take the ex's place.
Its called Plan B. Some also join with the first person they meet. When a relationship is falling apart, some will seek others to be with when it ends to avoid being alone
I dont either and agree most of the long-term marriages are based on their religious beliefs. Which explains some stay in crappy marriages
anomicdeer
Well-known member
Mokkat
Well-known member
Rebounding. Trying to get back to the routine.
I know its not a great analogy, but:
If you have a fancy smartphone and you lose or break it, you will most likely go get a new one. A least you will grab an old one you had lying around in a drawer somewhere until you can get a new one, just to be able to receive messages and calls. Some people will look for a new significant other at once, others will have the need to but postpone fulfilling it with superficial relationships, flirting, or some other kind of coping.
In context of that, I'd say having social anxiety and not being used to having someone is like not owning a phone in the first place. You can guess at what you're missing, but you can't really put yourself in the place of someone who depended on their phone and how alienated they can be if they lost it and didn't replace it.
Of course, you can just go out and buy a phone with money, unlike with relationships.
I know its not a great analogy, but:
If you have a fancy smartphone and you lose or break it, you will most likely go get a new one. A least you will grab an old one you had lying around in a drawer somewhere until you can get a new one, just to be able to receive messages and calls. Some people will look for a new significant other at once, others will have the need to but postpone fulfilling it with superficial relationships, flirting, or some other kind of coping.
In context of that, I'd say having social anxiety and not being used to having someone is like not owning a phone in the first place. You can guess at what you're missing, but you can't really put yourself in the place of someone who depended on their phone and how alienated they can be if they lost it and didn't replace it.
Of course, you can just go out and buy a phone with money, unlike with relationships.
P+G
Well-known member
Yes. It's still very new and odd to me that friends can suddenly become girlfriend and boyfriend after knowing each other for a while. Especially when there was no apparent attraction at the start. I think it must have a lot to do with being physically close to the person. A lot of hugging, hand holding and wrestling can turn into attraction and then suddenly, girlfriend and boyfriend...
Whoopdeedoo
Well-known member
First develop a relationship with yourself
Learn what the world offers
What you like and dont like
Be it sport, art, reading, music,film,nature etc
Try new things to do
New Food
Go to new places
Experiment with how you look
Have fun playing roles & dress up
Til you find what fits
Than what is yours will come to you
Learn what the world offers
What you like and dont like
Be it sport, art, reading, music,film,nature etc
Try new things to do
New Food
Go to new places
Experiment with how you look
Have fun playing roles & dress up
Til you find what fits
Than what is yours will come to you
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
Hi. I always feel that more serious relationships are formed over a period of time. Otherwise it seems to me that is is just about the sex.
AlienGeranium
Well-known member
This thread was interesting to read. There are such varied explanations to this phenomenon across the members of the forum. I'll give my two cents based on what I've observed (which, to the dismay of validity, is not a lot)
Firstly, I don't think most people really jump from relationship to relationship that quickly. I mean they may "date" but I don't think that's the same as being in a relationship.
As to those who do get right back on the horse right after ending a relationship, it's probably a combination of things, which a lot of people mentioned. Having a large social circle, or going out and meeting a lot of different people is probably a big one. They probably go to parties or bars or have some sort of way of meeting a lot of people in a short time, and have a large selection to choose from.
Also what some people were saying, they may have been looking before the relationship ended, or had someone in mind. A lot of times people will keep dating after the relationship is more or less over. So after it officially ends, they have an easier time bouncing back since they knew the end was near.
And then everyone is different. There are people who have few, yet very meaningful relationships. While others who have a lot of different relationships, with varying degrees of depth. Obviously the type of people who can jump into friendships with ease would also probably have an easier time forming a romantic one quickly as well.
Just a few things I've noticed.
Firstly, I don't think most people really jump from relationship to relationship that quickly. I mean they may "date" but I don't think that's the same as being in a relationship.
As to those who do get right back on the horse right after ending a relationship, it's probably a combination of things, which a lot of people mentioned. Having a large social circle, or going out and meeting a lot of different people is probably a big one. They probably go to parties or bars or have some sort of way of meeting a lot of people in a short time, and have a large selection to choose from.
Also what some people were saying, they may have been looking before the relationship ended, or had someone in mind. A lot of times people will keep dating after the relationship is more or less over. So after it officially ends, they have an easier time bouncing back since they knew the end was near.
And then everyone is different. There are people who have few, yet very meaningful relationships. While others who have a lot of different relationships, with varying degrees of depth. Obviously the type of people who can jump into friendships with ease would also probably have an easier time forming a romantic one quickly as well.
Just a few things I've noticed.
