How are you guys on 1on1 converstaion?

[alex7]

I'm not sure if it's only me, but i seem to do fine with group conversation (depending on the people of course) but when it comes to 1 on 1 conversation i get so nervous and fee like i have to entertain the other person.

Example: me and 3 other friends are talking about everything under the sun and then 2 of them leave to go have a smoke outside. Only me and one other friend are left and i become all awkward and i just blurt out anything just to prevent a long period of silence.

anyone else get like this?

I'm also terrified of being alone with anyone 1on1 no matter who it is, where it is, or the situation. I just feel an immense pressure to be talkative and entertaining, and because i dont work well under pressure, i usually fall on my face.

 

[Krista]

Um, if it's with someone I'm close to I have no problems with it. Friends and family of course. Although with someone I'm not familiar with I will literally sit in silence..my mind goes blank with nervousness, this is really something I'm still learning to maintain. I know it makes the other person almost as uncomfortable as I am but I can't help it. If I do attempt to try and make conversation I really just blurt random stuff out, which doesn't help when the other person knows it's forced.

Ice breakers I use:

So you're walking down the street when the TMNT and Power Rangers come up to you and tell you that you have to choose between them on who to join. Who do you go with and why?

Or

Oprah, Barbra Walters, your nagging wife/girlfriend. You gotta f*ck one, marry one, kill one. GO!

 

[alex7]

im so envious of you...and happy for u too i have trouble talking to anyone 1 on 1, and that includes ANYONE! i feel so empty cuz of that

 

[lurknomore]

Online, I seem to do better with group conversations- where it's not that dependent on my carrying the conversation. One on one I can only do with people I've gotten to know well enough.

In real life, I suck at both. I think with the group conversations, my problem is something I've learned is called "cocktail party syndrome," where if there are a lot of people talking, or a lot of background noise, I simply do not hear everything that is being said in the conversation, and I'm afraid to say something out of context or that has already been said. With online group conversations I can quickly and easily read what has been typed and keep up well that way. I need to learn how to read lips... but even that won't help with large group conversations unless I know exactly who to focus on at what moments.

I just don't know how to have one on one conversations with people that I don't already know well... this makes getting to know new people difficult if not impossible.

 

[lithium]

Depends on the individual, and the topic of discussion I suppose. I usually have some silence in conversations.

 

[Mr isolated]

...............

 

[CPA23]

I can relate to you on this. I usually try to think of something random to talk about because I also hate the awkward silence. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. The other person might be thinking the same thing that you are. Just wait until the other person says something and just build up on that. You don't have to have conversation all the time. Usually in a group of four or more (including myself), I am usually the one that says the least. Although, I usually try to say something so that I wont appear to be asocial.

 

[DanFC]

I am infamous for my awkward conversations.

I walk into a room and everybody's just like "..."

Someone talks to me and I'm just like "..."

 

[Anomaly]

Under the right circumstances, the 1 on 1 conversation wouldn't be bad at all for me, but group conversations always end up with me being silent and in an awkward state.

 

[Scrabbl]

I'm a lot more comfortable wiht 1 on 1 compared to group. that said, I'm also afraid of silences. I've come to realize that silences are okay, but it does still trigger some anxiety.

Group conversations are much more anxiety triggering for me. THis can be traced back to my high school days when I'm the quiet guy in the group. I'm actually very surprised that so many of you find 1 on 1 conversation harder.. In a group situation, there's just so many more eyes and ears to judge you by. Also it's hard to get a word in if your anxious, and that can be frustrating.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I'm also better at 1 on 1 than group conversations. Online, You probably wouldn't notice a difference. In real life, the simple presence of more people adds to my anxiety.

 

[Bemzy]

I'm also a lot more comfortable 1 on 1 than in a group.

"Only me and one other friend are left and i become all awkward and i just blurt out anything just to prevent a long period of silence."

Haha I used to feel the same way but then I realized, why should I be feeling awkward.

 

[alex7]

this really does put things into perspective that most of you are better at 1 on 1. now i feel like a weirdo lol, but atleast i cant use SA as a scapegoat for that anymore

 

[Emily_G]

It depends for me. If I don't know someone well, 1 on 1 can be very stressful. But if I know them well it's okay

 

[206Raider]

I'm actually the opposite, I hate group conversations most of the time but I'm good with 1on1 convos. Unless it's with somebody I know nothing about and they are hard to figure out, then it's really awkward and I feel I have to leave.

 

[Day_Tripper]

There are pros and cons of both. With 1 on 1, I'm not in any context. What I mean is, with a group, you're going to be compared to everyone around you, and I'll be the most quiet. But in a group, if I don't talk, it's not as bad cause someone else will say something, and I can just jump in when I feel like it.

 

[Hellhound]

I like 1on1 conversations and I don't have much problem with them. The pain comes when there's a group, I can't stand being in groups.

 

[VirgoBlues]

Im better at 1 on 1 conversation, not the best, but better. Group conversation intimidates me really badly and I don't end up saying anything.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

this really does put things into perspective that most of you are better at 1 on 1. now i feel like a weirdo lol, but atleast i cant use SA as a scapegoat for that anymore

Um, no. It effects different people in different ways.

 

[humansrare]

I'm actually better one on one than I am in a group conversation. In groups I am pretty much ignored, and that makes me feel like crap...with just one other person they are basically forced to talk to me, ha..and so am I, forced to talk.