How are you feeling?

[Agent_Violet]

Feeling like I can't keep up

 

[Srijita52]

I'm feeling irritated.

 

[Phoenixx]

Like actually doing something productive.

Actually the past couple days I've been pretty determined on doing other things rather than sit in my dorm. Not exactly social things, but just things to get me out of the dorm and focus more on my work, keeping myself busy, etc.

 

[MikeyC]

Nervous.
Tomorrow is the start of what I'm going to turn into a new era.
Maybe my plan will work, maybe it won't.
I just hope it gets off to a good start.

What plan?

 

[planemo]

Feeling a bit down. Not really sure how to overcome this fear and insecurity around people. Keep wondering if the damage is done already, but i suppose it's better late than never, or at least i hope.

 

[planemo]

I guess the only certain way to overcome it is to stop comparing yourself to other people.

have you tried it? does it work? :: but i think i tend to want people to like and admire me. not really sure why though. i guess i feel if i'm not "satisfactory" for them they're gonna treat me like a piece of dirt. stupid, yes i know, but i just can't seem to shake it off. ::

 

[Agent_Violet]

Glad i seem to be able to make friends. Sad my issues cause me to let all those friendships go. Sad I can't seem to maintain any relationships other than my marriage. Sorry I push everyone away.

anyway...that's how i'm feeling.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

Glad i seem to be able to make friends. Sad my issues cause me to let all those friendships go. Sad I can't seem to maintain any relationships other than my marriage. Sorry I push everyone away.

anyway...that's how i'm feeling.

Doesn't matter how hard you push, just you try and push harder, go on and try.

Sorry it's not working, I aint going anywhere.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Ahhhh, my wish came true

and what wish was that?

 

[Agent_Violet]

If you can maintain a relationship as serious as a marriage then you have the tools to keep a friendship going. You just gotta keep in contact with people thats all. Plus its sounds like you're around some snobs but I dont think thats a personal failing of yours. If people leave you out of their plans and go to do things without you, you'd probably be miserable trying to spend time with them.

I think I maintain it bc he knows all about BPD and treats me like his patient
It appeals to my borderline issue really well.

I am around lots of snobs. But then again, the confusing part is knowing are they really snobs? Or is my jacked up way of thinking just clouding my judgment?

borderlines seem to view everything in a distorted way...

i never know what's real and what's all in my head. So I just isolate me.

 

[Agent_Violet]

How do you 'push everyone away'?

A number of ways...it's case by case really.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Well if that one thing you said really happened I would say so, unless it was an illusion I had some people in college do that to me my Freshman year and it pissed me off to know end. But I found out why the guys were trying to keep me out of the group in the end.

that definitely happened.

but a lot of the times, something will happen during a conversation that will hurt me or i'll perceive as a slight against me...later on I will vent to my husband about it and he'll say , "oh honey you totally took that the wrong way. So-and-So didn't mean it that way...I didn't take it that way."

 

[surreyger]

I feel lost atm, which is a shame as ive made progress!

 

[planemo]

Well to be honest I have a hard time not comparing myself to others. But I've been told by more confident people thats one way. Wanting people to accept you is a normal human desire. But I think us here have unrealistic expectations on that. For one, not everyone will like you, but on the same line not everyone has to like you. Because there are people that will. The average person is more accepting than we imagine them to be and would give us a chance, its just that being quiet makes us unknowable and the unknown scares people. But for that few that will dislike you anyways, they're jerks and aren't worth the time. Sorry if that doesnt make sense

that is very well said and makes complete sense. What you say is completely true, but sometimes i wonder if i have a rational brain. after all a phobia is an irrational fear. my mind is just in a very unhealthy irrational cycle. it's brought about by an intense fear of rejection and humiliation. i really need to find a way out. perhaps starting by not comparing myself to others is the first step...

 

[superfluouslyme]

I feel like I've wasted this whole day taking photos and listening to music. It was nice though.

That sounds like a good day to me. I'm feeling pretty nice. I'm just cleaning reading and trolling the webs and eating goat cheese. Mmmmmm.

 

[Kiwong]

On top of the world looking down on creation.

 

[Rufus]

[self pity]tonight, I am nursing a broken heart

I'd like to be all overly dramatic and **** but I had it coming, and at least one of us is happy[/self pity]

There's something I quite enjoy about being sad due to romantic fcuk ups actually, and I don't know why.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

horrible.
must.... hide.... face... from self.
-__-
I'm... uh...
I hate winter.
I need a humidifier for my skin's sake.

 

[MikeyC]

I feel lost atm, which is a shame as ive made progress!

Sometimes it's hard to continue making progress without thinking about old habits. Why do you feel lost, if I may ask?

I feel like I've wasted this whole day taking photos and listening to music. It was nice though.

Wasted? No way! There are days where I like to just sit and listen to my music. I might have a snack with me, browse the internet, watch some DVD. Those days are hardly wasted, and I actually have less of those than I want.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I feel like I've wasted this whole day taking photos and listening to music. It was nice though.

That's not a waste. That's a perfect day.