How are you feeling?

withlove

withlove

1
leave_me_alone said:
There is so much that is bothering me right now.

I am getting sick of being stuck at home. I cant do anything right, i am so out of shape physically and mentally. I havent left this apartmen for more than a week now. I only go out when it is absolutely neccessary. I have no life. My SA is over the roof and i start to believe it is too late to change that now.

Not to mentoin i need to find a job, which i find almost impossible right now. I dont know what to do, i am loosing it.
Click to expand...

^ Thats how I feel right now! Your're not alone! I really want to be somebody! I feel so worthless :(
 
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leave_me_alone

leave_me_alone

Well-known member
I am sorry you feel this way too. My SA is so severe i am even afraid to go to a therapist, so nothing will be happening on that front. I either help myself by some miracle or rot alive in this apartmen. I guess there isnt much i can do.
I know, it is unbearable feeling to feel this worthless. Human mind is not supposed to "fight" such a heavy feelings on daily basis. I feel that after years, it is having its impact on me.
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
pretty horrible... I feel bad (allergic reaction) but was feeling better being in the presence of both mom and sister, sitting and talking for a good 30 minutes, rare moments where we seem like family, and was just agreeing with what they said and adding on to conversation, you know... Anyways I said something like "Hey mom, I bet you'll love this! The 4th cheapest place to live in the world today is Belize (I thought that was one of her dream destinations)" And just like that I realize that all this time they've been trying to talk to eachother and been trying to get me to go back to my room all this time. "I don't care about these things like Belize! Why don't you go to the gym or something... " Me "What? I thought we were having a nice conversation...? Do you want me out of your way?" Her: "Yeah, I don't want to talk to you about these things". Guess I should have realized she used a harsh tone when talking to me but not to my sister during these last 30 minutes.

There is something about me that she just hates with so much passion but I can't figure out what it is.. It seems like whenever I speak she thinks i'm saying something negative, even when i'm talking about beautiful places in the world, and especially when I'm talking about cancer patients who have healed themselves with the power of health! Sometimes she treats me like this virus that she's been trying to rid all of her life. I've confronted her about it and she's realized it sometimes, apologized, but still does it. She apologizes a LOT, but actions feel a lot more real than constantly having to take things back in words. Still rolls her eyes, sighs and asks me how long i'm going to be in her presence until I'm gone.(She's not always like that, she can be loving too, no bad name to her)

/don't understand the world anymore... /feelsunloved /rant over, thanks
 
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BlueDays

BlueDays

1
leave_me_alone said:
I am sorry you feel this way too. My SA is so severe i am even afraid to go to a therapist, so nothing will be happening on that front. I either help myself by some miracle or rot alive in this apartmen. I guess there isnt much i can do.
I know, it is unbearable feeling to feel this worthless. Human mind is not supposed to "fight" such a heavy feelings on daily basis. I feel that after years, it is having its impact on me.
Click to expand...

I was just thinking something similar to this the other day.
I just became aware that this intense struggle has gone on EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for many many many years. It made me wonder how I have survived this long.
If only the people around us (family etc) knew this mental weight our minds must bear ever day, they might not be so judgemental :/
 
withlove

withlove

1
leave_me_alone said:
I am sorry you feel this way too. My SA is so severe i am even afraid to go to a therapist, so nothing will be happening on that front. I either help myself by some miracle or rot alive in this apartmen. I guess there isnt much i can do.
I know, it is unbearable feeling to feel this worthless. Human mind is not supposed to "fight" such a heavy feelings on daily basis. I feel that after years, it is having its impact on me.
Click to expand...

^ I am feeling your pain. My SA is very severe too, and have not got courage to see therapist! I had 3 panic attack this week, applied jobs, got rejected! I think I began to realise my whole life, and what im doing. I hate how im so relaxed and sitting at home, I want to be out there and accomplish something. I feel like nothing. I have so many plans, I just have to fuilfil them, and take the step forward. It will make things better, its never too late to change, YOU too. Im trying to tell myself that!

If anything, I know I will feel much better if I do something even if I fail, than doing nothing about it.
 
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leave_me_alone

leave_me_alone

Well-known member
BlueDays said:
I was just thinking something similar to this the other day.
I just became aware that this intense struggle has gone on EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for many many many years. It made me wonder how I have survived this long.
If only the people around us (family etc) knew this mental weight our minds must bear ever day, they might not be so judgemental :/
Click to expand...

That is very true. Sometimes i wish they knew about my SA.

withlove said:
^ I am feeling your pain. My SA is very severe too, and have not got courage to see therapist! I had 3 panic attack this week, applied jobs, got rejected! I think I began to realise my whole life, and what im doing. I hate how im so relaxed and sitting at home, I want to be out there and accomplish something. I feel like nothing. I have so many plans, I just have to fuilfil them, and take the step forward. It will make things better, its never too late to change, YOU too. Im trying to tell myself that!
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It seems like we have a lot in common. I applied for 2 jobs today, but i dont expect a positive response, if any. Who would hire a 24yo guy with no job history whatsoever? Sigh.. You are right, we should never give up. It just too hard to imagine for how long i can go on like this, without going totally nuts.
 
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withlove

withlove

1
leave_me_alone said:
That is very true. Sometimes i wish they knew about my SA.

It seems like we have a lot in common. I applied for 2 jobs today, but i dont expect a positive response, if any. Who would hire a 24yo guy with no job history whatsoever? Sigh.. You are right, we should never give up. It just too hard to imagine for how long i can go on like this, without going totally nuts.
Click to expand...

You're still young, im sure you have skills you can proof useful, even if you say you have no job experience! Its a stepping stone, so im proud of you! :) Its not easy findin job! Just keep it up! I had panic attack, but I got over it after a few fresh air. I hope you will get a job soon!
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
Girls' feelings change far too often in a single day. If I wrote how I was feeling every time it changed, there would possibly be over 100 posts just in this thread for one day :p

Okay, so maybe I exaggerate, but you get the point ;)

Right now, can't answer the question well anyway. A mix of things.
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
I feel kind of down, but I'm about to go to sleep so I'll probably feel better in the morning.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
tongue-tied....

怖じ気づいたらダメ（ダメ）
押して押されてGoing'（ゴーイン!）
ドッキリ気分がいーね　（イーネ!）
ちゃっかり朝までDancin'（シュビドゥバ!）
LOVE LOVE LOVE　トロピカ～ナ

It's not even that fast... haha
Love Tropicana ~ Sister Mayo
 
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