How are you feeling?

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silent k

Well-known member
disgusted with my attitude hardly functional my boss just called me in to work tommorro and just thinking about calling back pisses me off. i don't want to tell her i cant come in, and i really don't want to go in. i feel like ignoring the problem, but i know thats not right. but then is it even my problem to deal with in the first place? i feel like many of the problems i take responsibility for are not my problems, but i do it because it makes me feel worth something and i dont want someone else to have to suffer from my mistakes. i dont feel worthy unless i believe that i have pulled a little more than my own weight. this is a very difficult way to be. i cant discriminate between my problems and others. when i think about it, it seem like it is right for me to feel this way. is it right for me to be happy when others a crying. i think not. there are so many people in the world that need help and will never get it. this just doesn't feel right. i'm so confused why do i feel this way. anybody please help? i would gladly pass on the favor. i just cant help anyone with this attitude.. i love to help people i just cant while feeling so uninspired
 
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silent k

Well-known member
i feel like maybe a huge natural disaster would be good for the people of the world. maybe it would humble and refocus us on what is really important, or at least the people that survived. love,unity,sustainability. the world is way overpopulated anyway. i just wish that it didn't have to come down to that. i don't want anyone to be hurt
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Conflicted, I guess. Been thinking about my oldest sister's recent marriage split, which happened just a few months ago, and the fact she's now seeing someone else. Why? Because I recently said to my other sister that I wasn't bothered by it, and her reaction - "Why aren't you upset about it?" - just made me feel guilty. Should I feel guilty?
 
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fdctk

Well-known member
Beatrice said:
I wish people would understand this! Very few people out there truly understand. Of course, public awareness is growing, but we have a WAYS to go. Certain members of my own family don't even seem to understand. When I get in those down moods and I don't look so happy, I get accused of pouting and being cold. It's ridiculous.
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i'm really sorry your family isn't understanding of your condition and thinks that way beatrice. that's not right at all... it's as if they're just jumping to conclusions and just assume you're looking for attention or something when that's not the case at all. but... i mean i've read your posts before about them, so it doesn't surprise me that they act that way. you deserve better.
 
dean01

dean01

Well-known member
i know im depressed but i just feel numb, i keep trying to lift my mood with the hope it will go away but no matter what i do i know its still there. a darkness waiting to swallow me and distort my mind.

i wake up at 12 midday and just lay in bed, whats the point in getting up? to do what? my entire body feels like its weighted down and the sun hurts my eyes, so i just lay there with the covers pulled over my head.

i finally surface around 3 to have a shower and then back to my bed, i just lay on my bed with my thoughts constantly playing on my mind, the whys, what ifs, all the demons of my life coming back to haunt me. normally i fall asleep again about 6 and wake up at 9 ish, then relise i havnt eaten again. sometimes i just cant be bothered to cook so i just eat comfort food like biscuits, chocolate or crisps. junk basically.

ive been watching tele till 3 in the morning up until a week ago when i decided to come back to spw. even on here im still trying to pretend im happy in attempt to snap myself out it, even though i no it cant be done. why am i trying?, who am i fooling? myself i guess.

im 3 weeks into a depressive episode having come down from a manic one which lasted 14 months, i dont think this depression is going away any time soon. denial and delusion leave you feeling confused and scared and thats just how i feel.
 
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Patrick26

Well-known member
I'm feeling blah!

One of the guys at my work told this girl who also works about what i'm gonna do tomorrow and i said "i'm not good at making friends" and she was saying why because i'm such a nice guy and i seem to make tons of friends at my work (work me and non work me are complete opposites) and yada yada. Later while at work i see the woman i like talking to so i talk to her and help her out, i help her unload her groceries into her vehicle. I'm flirting with her, she's flirting with me but she has 3 kids...i'm in no way shape or form able to handle kids if i can't even handle myself. Told her for having 3 kids she looks really good. One of the other customers i like talking to (a guy and his wife) was making me blush, and was saying for me to ask her out and that she has big tata's in front of his wife (who was laughing at this happening). So if i don't ask her out by the next time he see's her he will ask her out for me. No pressure, right? She also lives far away and i don't have a car or my license.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Exhausted since today was basically an emotional rollercoaster for me. I felt depressed/anxious most of the morning, afternoon came and I felt no emotions whatsoever. Then once it came time for gym (my most HATED class), I couldn't stop shaking all over for the whole period. I wanted to just burst into tears. Had to stay after school today too, so once my classes were all over, I was just angry the whole time. And now, like I said, I'm just exhausted.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
MidnightStar said:
Mostly just a new hairstyle/color and I might do something with my eyebrows as well. It'll be a nice change though. :)
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I actually admire people who can change their look :)
I know a change would be refreshing, but I am just too chicken to do it.

Good luck:) ...meaning, I hope you are happy with how it turns out.
 
Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
GOOD. Had a GREAT day. Will write in my journal. Ups and downs but mostly ups; positives... enjoying the final days of school; more relaxed, had lunch with a girl I liked from class (oh nothing there lol, but still), did stuff I wish I did earlier in the semester but... better late than never.
 
Tiercel

Tiercel

Well-known member
BlueDays said:
Like I am just floating around the pool, instead of doing laps like everyone else.
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Let them hurry. They're still in the same pool as you.

And I rather enjoy just floating around, so I'll float with you. At least for a while.

Coyote, my trunks are black. ;)
 
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