I slept for a long time . There were things I refused to think about.
I've had quite a bad week with eating the past week while away at my grandads cause he treated me alot and i couldn't say nobuuut, i went to slimming world today, first proper weigh in since i joined last week and i've lost a pound! okay it's not much but i was seriously expecting to have put on weight, so am over thee moon with that!
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I hate myself for hating confident people
Just got a message saying "dumb bitch" of a complete stranger on Tagged.
Now as far as I'm aware, i have nothing to make me sound dumb on my profile?!
But I'm actually very angry and offended.
I cant abuse him back 'cos he'll just call me fat.
But WTF?!!!
Why the hell is this bothering me!![]()
Psh, you are not fat and you're certainly not a dumb bitch. That guy sounds like a dumbass and you shouldn't even bother yourself with it, I promise you that you aren't. People are just so ignorant these days.
*Dev kinda wants to share (and rant)* Feel free to ignore me but, well... I feel frustrated and relieved all at the same time...
I have been worrying myself sick over my boyfriend because he has barely been talking to me for like over a week.. and he has been in and out of the hospital for the last 2 weeks and I barely have any idea what's been going on (he doesn't talk much as it is..and when he's sick I am lucky if I can get like 3 sentences out of him a day)... and on top of that... well what with having borderline and all I have these imagined abandonment and insecurity issues that I struggle with everyday..
Example: boyfriend doesn't message me all day while he's at work, signs off without saying goodbye and disappears for 3 days. My irrational thought process: Omg, he hates me, he is avoiding me, I made him mad, what did I do wrong, everything is going to hell etc etc etc... What actually happened: Lab results came back while he was at work (His father is an oncologist and he works in the same clinic as him) so he is taken downstairs for a CT.. turns out his spleen is like 5 times normal size... he goes upstairs, grabs his computer and goes to the ER...3 days later.."Hey baby, I have mono and I have been in the hospital. I missed you like crazy and I love you so much." Me: Relief + omg I can't believe I doubted so much in him and thought he didn't love me and blah blah blah = guilt that I don't have faith in my relationships or his love for me... and a useless 3 days spent crying and tearing myself up inside for no good reason because I am like 100% irrational.
God I HATE long distance relationships.. I can't even began to tell you... Then it's like panic.. oh crap. I have cancer (my second bout, not terminal) I am on low dose chemo 3 times a week. It's not that bad.. and bleh cancer whatever, I beat it once before I know I can do it again. That has always been my attitude.. but then I realize.. oh crap, I flew back home from visiting my boyfriend less than 3 weeks ago.. Mono can take 4-6 weeks to show signs.. I was with my boyfriend for 5 weeks... well crap.. *sigh*
Anyway... so I feel like a 100 ton weight has been lifted off my shoulders cuz I have reconfirmed that he loves me and missed me and all is right with the world (as far as my insecurities go) but now I am fcked health wise with this mono thing...well maybe.. So I am good for now, until of course another couple days go by where he doesn't write me (because yea Dev, he is still sick...) and then those insecurities where I am sure he hates me come back, and I start the process all over again. God I drive myself crazy...
*Dev kinda wants to share (and rant)* Feel free to ignore me but, well... I feel frustrated and relieved all at the same time...
I have been worrying myself sick over my boyfriend because he has barely been talking to me for like over a week.. and he has been in and out of the hospital for the last 2 weeks and I barely have any idea what's been going on (he doesn't talk much as it is..and when he's sick I am lucky if I can get like 3 sentences out of him a day)... and on top of that... well what with having borderline and all I have these imagined abandonment and insecurity issues that I struggle with everyday..
Example: boyfriend doesn't message me all day while he's at work, signs off without saying goodbye and disappears for 3 days. My irrational thought process: Omg, he hates me, he is avoiding me, I made him mad, what did I do wrong, everything is going to hell etc etc etc... What actually happened: Lab results came back while he was at work (His father is an oncologist and he works in the same clinic as him) so he is taken downstairs for a CT.. turns out his spleen is like 5 times normal size... he goes upstairs, grabs his computer and goes to the ER...3 days later.."Hey baby, I have mono and I have been in the hospital. I missed you like crazy and I love you so much." Me: Relief + omg I can't believe I doubted so much in him and thought he didn't love me and blah blah blah = guilt that I don't have faith in my relationships or his love for me... and a useless 3 days spent crying and tearing myself up inside for no good reason because I am like 100% irrational.
God I HATE long distance relationships.. I can't even began to tell you... Then it's like panic.. oh crap. I have cancer (my second bout, not terminal) I am on low dose chemo 3 times a week. It's not that bad.. and bleh cancer whatever, I beat it once before I know I can do it again. That has always been my attitude.. but then I realize.. oh crap, I flew back home from visiting my boyfriend less than 3 weeks ago.. Mono can take 4-6 weeks to show signs.. I was with my boyfriend for 5 weeks... well crap.. *sigh*
Anyway... so I feel like a 100 ton weight has been lifted off my shoulders cuz I have reconfirmed that he loves me and missed me and all is right with the world (as far as my insecurities go) but now I am fcked health wise with this mono thing...well maybe.. So I am good for now, until of course another couple days go by where he doesn't write me (because yea Dev, he is still sick...) and then those insecurities where I am sure he hates me come back, and I start the process all over again. God I drive myself crazy...
Just got a message saying "dumb bitch" of a complete stranger on Tagged.
Now as far as I'm aware, i have nothing to make me sound dumb on my profile?!
But I'm actually very angry and offended.
I cant abuse him back 'cos he'll just call me fat.
But WTF?!!!
Why the hell is this bothering me!![]()
Yeh, like they dont know me...
I just dont understand why people go out of their way to insult strangers.
Nack, you should entertain yourself by freaking these people out.
Put your hand inside your jacket n make em think yur gonna pull out a gun!