How are you feeling?

MrJones

Well-known member
I feel that if I keep acting like I do, no one in the real life will get to really know me, and I'll die with some "friends", but actually alone for what it matters to me.
This sounds like my destiny...
Is not a pleasant feeling, and I'm actually intending to finally use the available help that I have on the university counselor, but is harder than I thought to get I that office without anyone I know noticing it.
Good luck! Hope it helps.
 

cloudbound

Active member
I don't know how I am feeling. Some girl I know was on my bus earlier on, but at the front talking to the driver so I thought she might not notice me but of course she did and shouted down the bus to me. As if my conversational skills aren't bad enough as it is, now I have a bus full of people listening to what I'm saying. Then she announced to them she couldn't remember my name haha oh no D: Ground, please eat me.

So a bit of a nightmare for me, but on the other hand I couldn't even go in my local shop without messing up my words or my voice cutting out just a few months ago and well I didn't say much to her and she probably thought I was a weirdo but what I did say at least was in order and in front of a bus full of people is a major achievement for me.
 

MrJones

Well-known member
I'm not sure, but not very good.

Today I told myself to stop faking, to stop putting those smiley faces and make those silly jokes just to hide how I feel.

My parents and my sister have been asking all day what's wrong and why do you look so depressed... Luckily I spend all day at home (like I always do) so nobody else could see me.

I don't want them to be worried about me. I don't want anyone to be worried about me. I think I'll just keep putting the smiley mask again :)


I wish everything could be normal again, as they've always been.
 

arsenalwa

Well-known member
Terrible. Not that that's not how I always feel but I'm just really sick of everything. Waking up each new day to face some more of this is really hard now.
 
Quite worried. I have a appointment at the job agency tomorrow. It regards the income support I get in conjuctiom with the internship at the shop. They might cancel it, so forcing me to get another job. I was -just- getting used to the job after nearly a year.
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
A bit sad and........ I'm not really sure what else. I feel generally unhappy. I find the best cure for those moods is a night's sleep..... better get there soon.

Also, why do people play games with you? I don't know, maybe I do it to people too, unwittingly (or otherwise....).

So frustrated it hurts. Hate these moods when I get in them.
 

Depression Glass

Active member
I am firmly entrenched in a bipolar mixed state. I am so frustrated I can barely type, all I want to do is rip all my hair out and beat myself in the head until I pass out. I haven't been able to get out of bed in days other than to use the bathroom and weigh myself.

I haven't eaten in days and I feel weak and dizzy and my stomach aches, but I don't think I deserve to eat, I don't have any food in the house anyway, and I think if I go outside I will start screaming at someone. I sort of want to binge because it puts me into a trance and I'll be able to stop thinking all these horrible things that won't stop spinning around violently in my head like coffee beans in a food processor.

I'm so lonely right now I want to just cry until nothing more comes out.

I don't know why I'm even typing this because no one ever responds to my posts. I feel like everything I type is invisible.
 
^ I pay attention. I'm just not very good with advice and I honestly don't know what to tell you, other than I'm here if you ever need to talk. That's all I'm really good for, I'm afraid. :) I've never been in that kind of situation, so I don't have any life experience to draw from, other than I've been in those really deep, dark places. They suck, but they aren't bottomless. There is always a way out. You may not see it, but it's there.


I'm venting on my blog, and it feels very.... very.... good. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Sorry, I was itching my leg. :p
 

Depression Glass

Active member
^ I pay attention. I'm just not very good with advice and I honestly don't know what to tell you, other than I'm here if you ever need to talk. That's all I'm really good for, I'm afraid. :) I've never been in that kind of situation, so I don't have any life experience to draw from, other than I've been in those really deep, dark places. They suck, but they aren't bottomless. There is always a way out. You may not see it, but it's there.


I'm venting on my blog, and it feels very.... very.... good. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Sorry, I was itching my leg. :p

I'm glad I'm not invisible. I joined this forum because I'm agoraphobic and don't leave the house much, so I feel invisible in real life most of the time. But I've been feeling just as invisible here, and it's been making me feel horrible about myself, like I should just shut up and die already.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I'm glad I'm not invisible. I joined this forum because I'm agoraphobic and don't leave the house much, so I feel invisible in real life most of the time. But I've been feeling just as invisible here, and it's been making me feel horrible about myself, like I should just shut up and die already.

It's easy to feel like that.
I already feel that way in my every day life-- locking myself in my room every day, not taking care of myself, feeling like no one would give a **** if I just stuck my head in the oven (but that would require me to leave my room)

You're not invisible though, not here.
I still feel it sometimes as well but all we can do is make our best effort and someone will hear us.

ah--- everything you describe, I've been through as well. Starving myself for days, not wanting to leave my room... going without a shower or brushing my teeth for weeks, contemplating why I even bother to continue breathing.
Thing is- I don't have any answers, since I'm still there.
So... I'm not so great with morale or advice giving. I guess all you can do is find a reason- any obscure reason, and keep trying.
 
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... like I should just shut up and die already.

Absolutely not. It's just hard being new to the forum. As much as we may not like to admit it, it's kind of like school. No one pays attention to the new kid until we learn more about them. I remember posting and posting and no one said a word to me. Finally, coyote humored me and replied to something, IIRC. It just takes a bit of time to strike up friendships and find those who have similar stories to your own. So don't get discouraged. :)

Or you could do as I do and just post anyway. How do you think I got to 2000+ posts in less than 7 months? :D
 
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IGotSeoul

Well-known member
But I've been feeling just as invisible here, and it's been making me feel horrible about myself, like I should just shut up and die already.

I find myself wanting to reply to a lot of things that I haven't. Sometimes I'll write a small paragraph and delete the whole thing feeling stupid. I wish I would stop that; it's just to say that people do read posts, it's sometimes just difficult to respond. I really hope you feel better soon, we all welcome you here.
 
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