How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
That sketch was actually by me, Fountain.
Dang, I knew that, too. Anywhoo, I fixed it.
It really is a cool drawing._____________________________________________________________________________
I'm gonna float like a boat today. I'm not sad or anything, I just don't want to do anything.
I'm just gonna be inertia guy.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Thats actually pretty good mate
It’s better than ma previous rushed attempt... when I had both ma nieces and one of my cousins watching as I drew from a similar reference photo. Though, ah get the feeling me drawing things for my niece will become something I’m doing regularly in future. Ah just see masel’ doing every art homework assignment she gets from school.
My portrait drawing isn’t great, in fact it’s pretty weak. So ah know what ya mean, Pug.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Dang, I knew that, too. Anywhoo, I fixed it.
Nae bother, pal.
And, eh... thanks. Probably should’ve been a bit more sloppy with the detail, though. Given that my oldest niece is taking the pictures I draw into nursery and showing them off, so hopefully am getting credit for them. They might getting the impression she’ll do still-life or photo realistic portraits by age 12. Mind you, she’ll probably be playing the guitar in a few years, since she gotten that use to see me with a guitar on my lap, she asks where it is if I don’t happen to playing either my electric or bass guitar when she comes up to my room. 
Phoenixx
Well-known member
I'm not sure how I'm feeling. My professor stopped me after class today and asked what I was going to do when I graduated. I told her the plan I have had set since, well, the past year or more: Stay where I'm working now even though it doesn't exactly have anything to do with my studies, save up money to move to my perfect location, then move and work at the wellness center I've been a client at for over 6 years now (I have a great reputation there and they do want me), gain a foundation, then form my own practice and position from there within the company. I do plan on getting licensure as well before heading that direction too. My professor told me she's afraid of me wasting potential because apparently I have some really great skills, even though I can't take the typical avenues one in my major would normally take due to some health issues I have. She thinks I should look into government jobs, so I could utilize my writing skills. Or at least get a job as a grant writer somewhere. I'm thinking about doing the grant writing thing, but I have absolutely no idea where to start or where to find anything in my area. I would love it if I could work from home because I'm a very local person and I don't want to (nor can I due to husband's job) move anywhere else far away.
And of course this conversation would happen the week I was planning on asking for a new position at the job I'm currently at after my annual review with my bosses. What do I do?
And of course this conversation would happen the week I was planning on asking for a new position at the job I'm currently at after my annual review with my bosses.
What do I do?
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I would say do what is going to make you happiest Phoenixx. What would give you more job satisfaction? Will you be stuck in a job where you aren't happy? Job satisfaction is HUGE. Don't underestimate the implications it has on your lifeI'm not sure how I'm feeling. My professor stopped me after class today and asked what I was going to do when I graduated. I told her the plan I have had set since, well, the past year or more: Stay where I'm working now even though it doesn't exactly have anything to do with my studies, save up money to move to my perfect location, then move and work at the wellness center I've been a client at for over 6 years now (I have a great reputation there and they do want me), gain a foundation, then form my own practice and position from there within the company. I do plan on getting licensure as well before heading that direction too. My professor told me she's afraid of me wasting potential because apparently I have some really great skills, even though I can't take the typical avenues one in my major would normally take due to some health issues I have. She thinks I should look into government jobs, so I could utilize my writing skills. Or at least get a job as a grant writer somewhere. I'm thinking about doing the grant writing thing, but I have absolutely no idea where to start or where to find anything in my area. I would love it if I could work from home because I'm a very local person and I don't want to (nor can I due to husband's job) move anywhere else far away.
And of course this conversation would happen the week I was planning on asking for a new position at the job I'm currently at after my annual review with my bosses.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
BlueDays
1
awww, they made me laugh! Thank you for the laugh, Pug.
* Tackle Hugs Pug, in gratitude *
Phoenixx
Well-known member
That's the thing. I'm not miserably unhappy at my current job, but I definitely don't love it either. I just feel like I can't pick anything else up until I move, and that's going to be at least another year or more before that happens due to some financial obligations that need to come first. I feel worried that I'll be wasting time where I'm still at, but I don't know where else I'd go job-wise. In my current location my career field is incredibly competitive and oversaturated with graduates and not enough jobs, which is part of the reason why I am working a job that isn't exactly parallel to the career I want. Honestly I've just been trying to make the best with what I have instead of looking elsewhere. Maybe that's a sign I'm too comfortable? Oh I don't know.I would say do what is going to make you happiest Phoenixx. What would give you more job satisfaction? Will you be stuck in a job where you aren't happy? Job satisfaction is HUGE. Don't underestimate the implications it has on your life
BlueDays
1
Yeah, that can be an extremely hard habit to stop yourself from doing. Especially when your depressed mind is stuck in worrying mode.
There are many self-help books that help with stopping your mind from jumping to conclusions though.
You could find lots more online.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah don’t know if this is a compliment or no, but... Like, my oldest niece runs upstairs to my room, pencil n’ a piece o’ caird (sorry, card) in her hand. And she goes: “Graeme, can you draw me another butterfly? Then I’ll know how to draw butterflies” And this wus like 10 minutes before she was getting ready to leave today. So, ah just said: “Aye”, but internally am going: Whit time is it...? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Quick sketch, sod the details !
Thank buckin’ Christ I’d already drew a couple from memory ! And, my niece went: “I’ll do the details” when ah said ah did’nae huv time to do the details on the butterfly wings.
And this wus like 10 minutes before she was getting ready to leave today. So, ah just said: “Aye”, but internally am going: Whit time is it...? Thank buckin’ Christ I’d already drew a couple from memory ! And, my niece went: “I’ll do the details” when ah said ah did’nae huv time to do the details on the butterfly wings.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
That's a good thing mate. Children are innocent in mind, it's good she feels she can come to Uncle Graeme openlyAh don’t know if this is a compliment or no, but... Like, my oldest niece runs upstairs to my room, pencil n’ a piece o’ caird (sorry, card) in her hand. And she goes: “Graeme, can you draw me another butterfly? Then I’ll know how to draw butterflies”Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!Quick sketch, sod the details !
Thank buckin’ Christ I’d already drew a couple from memory ! And, my niece went: “I’ll do the details” when ah said ah did’nae huv time to do the details on the butterfly wings.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
That's a good thing mate. Children are innocent in mind, it's good she feels she can come to Uncle Graeme openly
Oh, dinnae git me started...
Both o’ them - it’s not just the oldest - already come to me whenever they feel like it. They’ll just announce that they’re going to see me, regardless of being told otherwise. And the oldest, nearly every time without fail, marches upstairs to me to give me the abridged version of the argument she just had with her mother. “Graeme, Mummy shouted at me... and I don’t like when she does that!” Also, ah dinnae feckin’ screech, “No ! Don’t do that !”, whenever they go try to lift my dumbbell
weights or pluck the strings of my guitars.Guess it’s good for me n’ not so good for my older sister - their mother. She’d probably notice that if she wus distracted by looking at her phone n’ going off on tangents about what someone wrote or posted on Facebook. Though, me pointing oot how her kids prefer being around me when they come visit rather than spending time with her and their granny probably would’nae gan doon well. Since my nieces get aw excited to see me as soon as they spot me, or even just hear me, making my way downstairs. Cuz it’s no like she cun shout n’ swear back at me n’ say I’m lying.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
I totally agree laughter is the best medicine. I have a video saved on my phone one of my best friends sent me over a year ago that I watch every time I'm feeling down. It makes me laugh every time I watch it and makes me feel like everything will be okay, even if I'm feeling bad.
I won't share the video due to privacy, but let's just say it involves a cat and some vodka.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
I sometimes tire thinking or talking about my feelings because the thoughts and feelings have become like a broken record that has been spinning for quite a while now.
I'll at times want to call it numbness, but that's not quite right as I'm not devoid of emotion or unable of feeling them. It's more like my feelings and emotions are configuration settings and some of them are turned down or off or the intensity is diminished or set to secondary or whatever. I wish I could turn up the "enjoyment" setting in context of fun, or the "excitement" setting up, or "considerate" or "Love". And I would turn down "angry" and "bitter" and "frustrated" and "impatient". It's not that I can't have fun or am always bitter, but when I am bitter those feelings are a hundred times stronger than enjoyment I feel when I am having fun. Enjoyment and fun feel muted, like faded colors on shirt, in comparison to the bright colors of anger and frustration.
When I reflect I can't ignore the possible psychological, or even biological, reason for setting my emotional configuration this way. If I don't passionately and wholeheartedly devote myself to any pure positive emotions, the terrible lows won't be as low. If I'm never head over heels again then I can never crash head first into the concrete again when the spring propelling my step is removed.
That doesn't really work though, as it just leaves me living in the past. I still remember, even as a memory, what it feels like to be intensely excited, to laugh large and undoubtedly, or to smile with undying and unconditional love. This is a silly analogy, but its like your favorite food being cheeseburgers and then having the doctor restrict your diet and tell you not to eat them anymore. You still wants them and remembers them, but know the risks and pain that could come from eating one so you don't. It's purgatory.
I always liken the mentality to the essence of this line from Dodgeball.
It's funny because I recognize that that mentality is not ideal, and one of the big takeaways from the movie is to reject that line of thinking, but knowing that doesn't suddenly turn my willingness to have fun unconditionally up to 11. I hope it takes less than a spontaneous conversation with Lance Armstrong to get to the place Peter La Fleur is at the end of Dodgeball for me though. I think I need to settle on how I want to feel, and then act in accordance with them. Thoughts, feelings, and behavior have a give and take relationship. I...will keep rambling like a broken record if I go on.
I'll at times want to call it numbness, but that's not quite right as I'm not devoid of emotion or unable of feeling them. It's more like my feelings and emotions are configuration settings and some of them are turned down or off or the intensity is diminished or set to secondary or whatever. I wish I could turn up the "enjoyment" setting in context of fun, or the "excitement" setting up, or "considerate" or "Love". And I would turn down "angry" and "bitter" and "frustrated" and "impatient". It's not that I can't have fun or am always bitter, but when I am bitter those feelings are a hundred times stronger than enjoyment I feel when I am having fun. Enjoyment and fun feel muted, like faded colors on shirt, in comparison to the bright colors of anger and frustration.
When I reflect I can't ignore the possible psychological, or even biological, reason for setting my emotional configuration this way. If I don't passionately and wholeheartedly devote myself to any pure positive emotions, the terrible lows won't be as low. If I'm never head over heels again then I can never crash head first into the concrete again when the spring propelling my step is removed.
That doesn't really work though, as it just leaves me living in the past. I still remember, even as a memory, what it feels like to be intensely excited, to laugh large and undoubtedly, or to smile with undying and unconditional love. This is a silly analogy, but its like your favorite food being cheeseburgers and then having the doctor restrict your diet and tell you not to eat them anymore. You still wants them and remembers them, but know the risks and pain that could come from eating one so you don't. It's purgatory.
I always liken the mentality to the essence of this line from Dodgeball.
It's funny because I recognize that that mentality is not ideal, and one of the big takeaways from the movie is to reject that line of thinking, but knowing that doesn't suddenly turn my willingness to have fun unconditionally up to 11. I hope it takes less than a spontaneous conversation with Lance Armstrong to get to the place Peter La Fleur is at the end of Dodgeball for me though. I think I need to settle on how I want to feel, and then act in accordance with them. Thoughts, feelings, and behavior have a give and take relationship. I...will keep rambling like a broken record if I go on.