Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Old... really old.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
theslowesthand
Banned
You're young compared to some of us older folk on here. Unless you're not talking about age, but the things that come with old age :question:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
True. But I don’t feel young, if that makes sense? :idontknow: In fact my older sister reminded me of this fact by half jokingly telling me I could pass for 21 due to me still wearing band t-shirts.
mg: And apparently, 14, if I whip the beard off...
h:Yeah, that’s what I was referring to. Not so much being 30, but the whole just getting older, y’know?
Speaking of that, that lower back pain that wus bothering me for the past few days there has subsided.
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SilentAndShy
Well-known member
I've had most of this week off from work and have had a nice time with my wife however IDK but my mood has completely flipped and I'm moody, uncommunicative and hate being around people. I think it goes back to what might be perceived as something minor but people criticising a choice I made and I don't react well to feedback that is negative and this has spiralled into moving back from my religious obligations and going back to a dark place when I should be happy.
theslowesthand
Banned
SO bored, that i have had to be outside much more than usual (is a sunny day). I still feel bored outside, walking around & around, but i'm a little less restless, as i have something to do.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I was like that yesterday. I ended up walking along the coast for 16 klm's. I was sore by the time I was done, but felt much better afterwards.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
It doesn't seem fair, getting old without living.
theslowesthand
Banned
At the moment anyway, i'm pretty much bored-to-death of almost all of my usual activities. And i'm not interested in doing anything new. So i'm screwed. :sad:
About the only thing that still stimulates me is getting drunk & listening to the right rock music on the radio. Having a glass now in fact, snacking on crisps, listening to rock on the radio, and feeling better. Waiting for somebody to take me shopping, if they get here; i guess going to town isn't boring :question: (it stresses me out though)
About the only thing that still stimulates me is getting drunk & listening to the right rock music on the radio. Having a glass now in fact, snacking on crisps, listening to rock on the radio, and feeling better. Waiting for somebody to take me shopping, if they get here; i guess going to town isn't boring :question: (it stresses me out though)
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Story of my life, sadly. :sad:
I’m so bored... No, naff ! That better describes how ah feel. Yet I cannae be arsed to motivate myself to do summit productive. Despite having a guitar and electric piano keyboard sitting in the corner of my room. :kickingmyself:
Is it “normal” - or rather, is it common - for depression to persist for more than 8 months? Or by asking that, is that just me rapidly declining mentally, cuz I’ve been keeping wee mental snapshots of how $h%te life’s been since August last year? :question: F*ck! Ah need a long vacation away from them... I really do.
h:
theslowesthand
Banned
Hmmm ... sweet f*ck-all going on in this forum at the moment.
Anyway, i went to town, and the boredom lifted whilst in town, and i wasn't as bored after returning home. But a price is always to be paid. I felt my sense of being alone then accentuated, and i felt cravings for woman contact (triggered by seeing some babes in town & interacting with a few). There doesn't seem i can do anything at all about my cravings for a woman. I have unmet needs (eg to have an outlet for my love/affections/etc), and i can't ever see them being met. It's a problem which i will continue to suffer for my entire life, no doubt. :sad:. All i can do is get drunk & listen to kick-*** heavy rock/metal afterwards. I mean, in real life, HOW ON EARTH am i meant to get to asking a woman out on a date - there's just too many insurmountable obstacles (she doesn't like you like you like her, she's got a partner, you don't know her barely as you only see her in the shop she works in). One young woman i frequently say hello to (etc), i saw today, and once i recognised her i transfered myself & trolley to her checkout. And it was fine, she asked me how i was, & a bit of small talk, such as i don't see her normally at checkout. And she gave me the receipt, but our hands touched, and i don't know if i was careless or the receipt wasn't sticking out from her hand enough, or if she deliberately made hand contact. But whatever the case, i STILL can't progress any further with her. Maybe cause i don't believe i'm seeing the "signals"; we just seem "agreeable" to each other, polite, etc, but nothing more. Without those signals, i refuse to take any risks, as i could be rejected/humiliated. Maybe i just need to wait till the next time a woman overtly flirts with me, else otherwise i can't be certain she won't reject me?. But i know this, that i'm getting more lonely & wanting a woman, as i'm getting older. I have survived till now, with porn, booze, diversions, for half my life ... i dare say i can survive the other half in a similar way (but it's WAY inferior to having the real thing).
Anyway, i went to town, and the boredom lifted whilst in town, and i wasn't as bored after returning home. But a price is always to be paid. I felt my sense of being alone then accentuated, and i felt cravings for woman contact (triggered by seeing some babes in town & interacting with a few). There doesn't seem i can do anything at all about my cravings for a woman. I have unmet needs (eg to have an outlet for my love/affections/etc), and i can't ever see them being met. It's a problem which i will continue to suffer for my entire life, no doubt. :sad:. All i can do is get drunk & listen to kick-*** heavy rock/metal afterwards. I mean, in real life, HOW ON EARTH am i meant to get to asking a woman out on a date - there's just too many insurmountable obstacles (she doesn't like you like you like her, she's got a partner, you don't know her barely as you only see her in the shop she works in). One young woman i frequently say hello to (etc), i saw today, and once i recognised her i transfered myself & trolley to her checkout. And it was fine, she asked me how i was, & a bit of small talk, such as i don't see her normally at checkout. And she gave me the receipt, but our hands touched, and i don't know if i was careless or the receipt wasn't sticking out from her hand enough, or if she deliberately made hand contact. But whatever the case, i STILL can't progress any further with her. Maybe cause i don't believe i'm seeing the "signals"; we just seem "agreeable" to each other, polite, etc, but nothing more. Without those signals, i refuse to take any risks, as i could be rejected/humiliated. Maybe i just need to wait till the next time a woman overtly flirts with me, else otherwise i can't be certain she won't reject me?. But i know this, that i'm getting more lonely & wanting a woman, as i'm getting older. I have survived till now, with porn, booze, diversions, for half my life ... i dare say i can survive the other half in a similar way (but it's WAY inferior to having the real thing).
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
You'll never be certain a woman wont reject you. What the hell mate, just ask the girl out for a coffee or dinner. Make the effort. Or...
*Reads headstone;*
"Here lies Theslowesthand.
who's hand was slow
and he died wondering"
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Who cares? I... Ah genuinely don't give a flyin' f*ck anymore. Can't wait til my life eventually ends, honestly. Cannot wait for that! Truth be telt, I've been dead emotionally for the past 16 years. :sad:
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theslowesthand
Banned
But then, if (or when) she rejects me, every time i see her after that i'll feel like a loser, a social reject, below her. And i can't handle those feelings, as they make me depressed. :sad:
I'm afraid that's the likely outcome of my life. :sad:
But it's not just with women, but with life, that i'm too scared to take risks & do anything outside the ordinary/usual/comfort-zone. :sad:
There is one exception - when the activity is initiated/organized by someone else. Then i'm more likely to do it, for some reason. Or chance encounters/experiences. But then i can easily flip from do-nothing/all-no's to impulsive/reckless doing of the activity (i have impulse control issues, which i normally keep very well in-check).
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PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
You're not alone there bud. Whilst I can do certain things that others seem to find difficult, some things freak the hell outta me. I know it's my SA, but it's also a mix of other things.
As soon as I get invited to a BBQ?... or a night out at a pub? I go from Mr relaxed & chilled to... some nervous wreck. I think it's a little different in my case because people may think I want to be social in that way - but I dont!
I don't want social drinking, pubs and clubs or bbq's. So they think I'm rejecting them which starts the whole SA cycle over again.
theslowesthand
Banned
But it's not just with women, but with life, that i'm too scared to take risks & do anything outside the ordinary/usual/comfort-zone. :sad:
There is one exception - when the activity is initiated/organized by someone else. Then i'm more likely to do it, for some reason. Or chance encounters/experiences. But then i can easily flip from do-nothing/all-no's to impulsive/reckless doing of the activity (i have impulse control issues, which i normally keep very well in-check).
There is one exception - when the activity is initiated/organized by someone else. Then i'm more likely to do it, for some reason. Or chance encounters/experiences. But then i can easily flip from do-nothing/all-no's to impulsive/reckless doing of the activity (i have impulse control issues, which i normally keep very well in-check).
theslowesthand
Banned
At this moment in my life, i feel kinda like a dog without a bone.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I’m thinking about killing myself before this year is out. Seems like the better option, since the blackmail n’ manipulation is just going keep happening even after I move out. I know it will, cuz my family aren’t ones for being happy that I’m happy. Never have done.
And I see no point in carrying on living if things are going to remain as they have done lately. :sad: :crying:
And I see no point in carrying on living if things are going to remain as they have done lately. :sad: :crying:
theslowesthand
Banned
Maybe it might be better than you're thinking right now? You don't have to let them in your house. You don't have to answer the phone.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Re: How are you feeling
Well, right now I’m being told I’ve not thought it through - me moving out. :kickingmyself: Not that I disagree with you, cuz you’re right in terms of letting them into the house and answering the phone. Still doesn’t change the fact I’m going have to justify my reasons for moving, which are f*ckin’ obvious at this point. :veryangry:
Well, right now I’m being told I’ve not thought it through - me moving out. :kickingmyself: Not that I disagree with you, cuz you’re right in terms of letting them into the house and answering the phone. Still doesn’t change the fact I’m going have to justify my reasons for moving, which are f*ckin’ obvious at this point. :veryangry:
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