Another day walking the tightrope of success, spending most of the time in the abyss on my as$ having fallen off, or scrambling to get back onto the tightrope, or hanging upside down from it (unable to get on it properly).
Sounds like slowesthand is feeling low in his ability to do anything right at the moment? :question:
Not saying that to make him feel worse, that's just how his post read to me. :idontknow:
Should dysfunctional people with less maturity than a block of cheese be allowed to conceive children?
Would a woman who goes ape-$h%* over how a push-buggy was place in the boot of a car be considered smart?
Also, what kinda parent tells their 3 years old to f*ck off when said child misbehaves? :thinking:
These are the questions keeping me awake at night. I really wish that was the punchline to a joke, but it’s not... I’m f*ckin’ seriously. It’s been 8 months now, still no let up in the constantly IQ lowering tsunami of illogical, irrational what-the-f*ckery that my older sister comes away with. Common sense is a bit too f*ckin’ common it seems, eh?
These are my only reactions as of late: :oh: :omg: At least, twice a day...
It’ll get better... If so, when? Cuz right now everything seems to be getting worse.:sad:
I mean that only for a fraction of the time do i feel successful or like a success - the rest of the time i feel like a failure/loser. It's a battle to not feel the latter, as that seems to be the default or "baseline" for me. :sad:
Socialphobiaworld is okay, but i don't think it's as good as being around & talking with real people (that you like & get along with & "click" with). :question:
Socialphobiaworld is okay, but i don't think it's as good as being around & talking with real people (that you like & get along with & "click" with). :question:
Being face to face with a person has a higher ceiling than internet interaction, I think. I don't think it's always better all the time, but it has the potential to be good in ways that cannot be so on the internet.
I think I have as many people that I talk to face to face as I ever have, but it doesn't stop me from feeling as alone as I ever have as well. If you're not clicking with people, it doesn't matter if it's online or in person. If the clicking is happening online, even if it has a lower ceiling, in no small potatoes in my opinion. It's a great thing, and something a lot of people don't find anywhere, even if it appears like they do.
Have a beer. Or in my case tonight, a Black Russian. Always helps my mood lift a little.
I'm having my first beer now; i just started it before i read your post.
Mind you, i've had 4 glasses of spirits before that.
I mix them with what i've got. My favorite today is vodka, bundaberg passionfruit, milk --> since is curdled very well, it looked like glass of donkey semen (?), so i named it "passion-cum spirit milkshake" 🤭
My moods are up'n'down like a yo-yo all throughout the day. Alcohol helps to lift the level of baseline mood, but it still goes up'n'down but not as much (it "dampens" my mood swings). The the medication is supposed to do this, and it does work i'm quite sure, but maybe my dosage isn't high enough, because it's effects are not good enough, as i still have mood swings.
Meh! Wish ah wus back in hospital... It would sure be a change from being held captive by my own mother. :sad:
Being in hospital was like HELL ON EARTH for me. It was like being back in school, with all the constant petty remarks flying about by the nurses. Sh*t, they MUST be in a bad way, due to being underpaid & overworked in this cuntry. NO WONDER the poor a$shole c*unts were taking it out on me (i couldn't go out of room & say tackle the ugly b*stards/b*tches from behind, or king-hit them, or even hurl some abuse back at the sadistic c*unts, as i couldn't walk, nor could i barely speak) :thumbdown: :veryangry:
I tell you, at the end of this life, payback will be SWEET, for all those EVIL F*CKERS out there, since i haven't been able to take much revenge during my living life.
But i am slightly built. Since you are "a big lad" i take it you didn't get any "stick" from the nurses there in hospital :question:
One of these days, when i'm in the mood for it, i'm going to make a formal complaint (like i did at the mental hospital i was at a few years ago). I also REFUSE to pay for the ambulance, as the female abulance officer was insulting me right off the bat. I kinda scolded her, by asking her to not call me that again as it's insulting (she called me 'cherub' WTF???).
Being in hospital was like HELL ON EARTH for me. It was like being back in school, with all the constant petty remarks flying about by the nurses. Sh*t, they MUST be in a bad way, due to being underpaid & overworked in this cuntry. NO WONDER the poor a$shole c*unts were taking it out on me (i couldn't go out of room & say tackle the ugly b*stards/b*tches from behind, or king-hit them, or even hurl some abuse back at the sadistic c*unts, as i couldn't walk, nor could i barely speak) :thumbdown: :veryangry:
I tell you, at the end of this life, payback will be SWEET, for all those EVIL F*CKERS out there, since i haven't been able to take much revenge during my living life.
But i am slightly built. Since you are "a big lad" i take it you didn't get any "stick" from the nurses there in hospital :question:
One of these days, when i'm in the mood for it, i'm going to make a formal complaint (like i did at the mental hospital i was at a few years ago). I also REFUSE to pay for the ambulance, as the female abulance officer was insulting me right off the bat. I kinda scolded her, by asking her to not call me that again as it's insulting (she called me 'cherub' WTF???).
Nope ! Didn’t have anything close to resembling the your experience, slowesthand. Couple of the nurses were right moody, nagging mares, but other than that my time in hospital was a right laugh. 🤭
Though, in terms of my physique, I really see myself as “built”. But ah think my big chest and arms, and the fact I’d deliberately grow my beard out and pack my overnight bag with several “offensive joke” t-shirts were the reasons why I never got any “shtick” from the nurses. Hehehe!
Disappointed in myself... it’s kinda daft, really. I’ve been listening to some of music I wrote last year, and I’m not as happy with some of my ideas, compared to when I was in process of writing ‘em.
Also, I’m still trying to figure out why I’m considered likeable ? :thinking: :idontknow:
...but other than that my time in hospital was a right laugh. 🤭
Same for me, but the laughter was at my expense :veryangry:
But i can't blame the hospital staff alone, as there were other patients who were sn;ggering behind my back. And also after leaving hospital, at the doctors, a man burst out in a giggling fit when he saw me. Unfortunately, that's just my hand in life (the-lowest-hand). Especially when i am nervous, certain people have always picked up on it & attacked me mercilessly. It's probably why, at least in a fair amount, i have problems with rage outbursts - as all that SH*TE has been taken onboard by my subconscious, & the stuff rises from the mire on occasion. I can't help when it does, as it just does, and so i have a rage outburst. But i've just accepted that many people out there are soulness, sadistic, ignorant SH*TBAGS.
Yes, Graeme used to be a bodyguard for the Irish CIA, before that he was a stunt man. When he was 12 he lied about his age and enlisted in the army, he sustained a few injuries during the war in 'nam which give him trouble to this very day.
None of those injuries have forced Graeme into hospital though. It's his family that drives him crazy that forces him to have..'time out' in hospital... :thinking:
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