Sorry for delay, as big things have happened these past 2 weeks, and been unable to get on web. Took an overdose (to try to comitt suicide, or at least see how close i can get). Then i reacted to the pills, with unable to stand up, light headed upon any exertion (even turning in bed), hands very shaky. So called ambulance, which in hindsight was a bad idea, as that made parents throw me out of the house i'm renting off them, saying its a health hazrd (a pathetic excuse). So now i'm homeless, living in a caravan on their section temporarily until i can find another place. Haven't been this unhappy for a long time. Had no spw, no music, no brain audios (to calm me) .. but i did buy some liquor .. dad took the beer off me (as he THINKS it makes me violent), but i hid the bottle of vodka in my clothes bag, & been drinking that last few days, tho running out soon & don't know how i'll handle that. I'm feeling quite a lot of bottled-up aggressive restlessness. Still wish i were dead. I can't see a way foward out of this, but i guess i'll just have to wait & see - nothing else i can do.