I feel like life's just been constantly kickin' me in the bollocks for much of 2012.
Recently, got told my uncle's back in hospital, the cancer has spread to hirs spine. So it ain't good, my mum's devastated, as am I. But she's taken the news worse, since she faces losing another of her brothers. I'm still tryin' to deal with the grief of losin' ma dad, so... I don't want this year to end with another death in the family :crying:
Aside fae that, ma self-confidence is messed up. Yesterday ma mum said to me that: "Yer no' a bad person, ye deserve tae be happy" And she geniunely meant it, sincerly. But I just responsed to her statement by sayin': "Then why do I feel like I am? Am constantly guilty intae doin' stuff, because I cannae let doon certain members of the family (my older sisters)"
Sad thing is, I meant ma reply, just as much as my mum's heartfelt statement. Strange how I cannae take positive compliment yet negative criticism an' even jokes at ma expense, are passively accepted wi' silence as I never response. And the reason for this is because I'd go off the hand, verbally, and start f**kin' raging.
There ye go, pals. A depressing rant aboot ma current situation and a far fae happy mindset. Sorry fur the long post, by the way, just needed tae vent ma feelings. :sad:
Right, noo, am off tae do something tae ma mind off aw that.
