I feel like I squandered my two precious days off. Now I have to work about 120 hours in the next two weeks, and won't have time for anything fun. I'll have to survive by making a list of things I want to do when I finally get a day off again...
How are you feeling?
#33062
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I'm much better now. 😀 I went to talk to my landlord and went grocery shopping. I just ate some hummus and crackers and strawberries.
Tonight, my bf is going to help me change my headlight and we might go out to dinner.
I've worked out 5 times this week, and I'm feeling a little fitter.
Tonight, my bf is going to help me change my headlight and we might go out to dinner.
I've worked out 5 times this week, and I'm feeling a little fitter.
#33063
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SO nervous-- panicking a bit...
AHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
I'm fine.
But seriously-- the tiniest bit excited and mostly nervous.
This is the most excited I've been in years.
...and all over a guitar.
haha
AHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
I'm fine.
But seriously-- the tiniest bit excited and mostly nervous.
This is the most excited I've been in years.
...and all over a guitar.
haha
#33064
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WeirdyMcGee said: ↑SO nervous-- panicking a bit...
AHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
I'm fine.
But seriously-- the tiniest bit excited and mostly nervous.
This is the most excited I've been in years.
...and all over a guitar.
haha
Do some jumping jacks. It's fun. It will release all that energy. You sound like an explosive little doll.
#33065
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MrSunday said: ↑Do some jumping jacks. It's fun. It will release all that energy. You sound like an explosive little doll.
haha
thanks~ I guess that means I'm cute, right?
Either that or creepy... dolls are pretty creepy... especially explosive ones, right?
Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said: ↑:🙁: I'm sorry. What's wrong?
I've had a headache that won't go away. It comes and goes. Thank you for asking. :)77Also just getting a canker sore.
I'm feeling love and happy. I never thought I could be happy again.
I love you all!
I love you all!
#33068
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I've been called emo, probably in the same places you use to vent 😛Tally_Lyra said: ↑Bad, so very bad. Like I'm going to explode with all the despair, frustration, heartache, and loneliness I feel.
I was holding back on commenting here and a couple other places I go to vent, because I've been called "emo" and told all I do is complain, and it made me feel horrible and ashamed. I don't WANT to complain a lot, I don't WANT to be overly emotional, but I have been depressed for a long time now. I am working to change it but I don't know how far I'll get because it all comes back to a stupid body image issue that, while seemingly silly to some others, is VERY real and VERY distressing to me, so much so that I have seriously contemplated doing myself in over it. Not that anyone should feel sorry for me for that, but I'm just emphasizing that it's not a joke, not some ploy for attention.
Why would I make all this **** up? And why would I want to just sit around and whine about my life? I know some people do that all the time, but I don't want to. My life feels like a nightmare right now though all because of how ****ed up my head is, and even though I've started medication I can't help but feel ending my life is the only way out. I just have to work up the courage, and hope my method works.
I hate to be the suicidal loser 🙁 But a person can only take so much emotional distress, and I can't seem to escape mine. Social anxiety, loneliness (though admittedly that could be worse, I have my family and a few others here and there), an extreme body image issue that I am convinced is the truth, and insecurity and anxiety in general - I am a miserable, neurotic mess. Doing my best to function normally, going to work every day. But how long can I keep that up?
This post was way too long. Sorry. Thanks to anyone who actually reads it.
If you're feeling like this, there is no reason to bottle it up inside, it will just make things worse. Only you know how you feel, I don't mind if people come here to vent or to post whatever's on their mind, and if some people don't like it, it's their problem, this thread has been made for this same reason, to show the world how you feel.
Anyway, I know what you mean about that emotional limit we can get to reach, when you wonder if it's really worthy to keep fighting something you clearly see as a battle lost.
You won't lose the battle unless you want to. You are working hard to go to work, and you had a new career as a life goal, didn't you? That sounds to me like something that could make you happy if you keep fighting long enough.
I don't have BDD myself and it's hard for me to understand, but for what I've seen inside and out of this forum it's one of the hardest things to fight against and it can clearly make life awful. You are really strong for living with this issue and the others you may have, like SA itself. You should be proud of yourself for what you're doing.
#33069
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^ Jonesy's right. If you're feeling like this, don't bottle it up, it really does make things worse. (I'm a pro 🙄) Whoever calls you "emo" and says "all you do is complain" can basically just shove it. Don't let those words keep you from talking about your issues. I know it can feel tiresome to vent a lot, but it's much better to get it out there than to keep it in.Tally_Lyra said: ↑Bad, so very bad. Like I'm going to explode with all the despair, frustration, heartache, and loneliness I feel.
I was holding back on commenting here and a couple other places I go to vent, because I've been called "emo" and told all I do is complain, and it made me feel horrible and ashamed. I don't WANT to complain a lot, I don't WANT to be overly emotional, but I have been depressed for a long time now. I am working to change it but I don't know how far I'll get because it all comes back to a stupid body image issue that, while seemingly silly to some others, is VERY real and VERY distressing to me, so much so that I have seriously contemplated doing myself in over it. Not that anyone should feel sorry for me for that, but I'm just emphasizing that it's not a joke, not some ploy for attention.
Why would I make all this **** up? And why would I want to just sit around and whine about my life? I know some people do that all the time, but I don't want to. My life feels like a nightmare right now though all because of how ****ed up my head is, and even though I've started medication I can't help but feel ending my life is the only way out. I just have to work up the courage, and hope my method works.
I hate to be the suicidal loser 🙁 But a person can only take so much emotional distress, and I can't seem to escape mine. Social anxiety, loneliness (though admittedly that could be worse, I have my family and a few others here and there), an extreme body image issue that I am convinced is the truth, and insecurity and anxiety in general - I am a miserable, neurotic mess. Doing my best to function normally, going to work every day. But how long can I keep that up?
This post was way too long. Sorry. Thanks to anyone who actually reads it.
Hang in there, Lyra. I know when you reach a certain limit you feel like giving up, but you really just have to keep fighting over and over again. Give it time, things will get better. I know those words may not seem like much now, but the best is yet to come, you'll see.
Tally_Lyra said: ↑Bad, so very bad. Like I'm going to explode with all the despair, frustration, heartache, and loneliness I feel.
I was holding back on commenting here and a couple other places I go to vent, because I've been called "emo" and told all I do is complain, and it made me feel horrible and ashamed. I don't WANT to complain a lot, I don't WANT to be overly emotional, but I have been depressed for a long time now. I am working to change it but I don't know how far I'll get because it all comes back to a stupid body image issue that, while seemingly silly to some others, is VERY real and VERY distressing to me, so much so that I have seriously contemplated doing myself in over it. Not that anyone should feel sorry for me for that, but I'm just emphasizing that it's not a joke, not some ploy for attention.
Why would I make all this **** up? And why would I want to just sit around and whine about my life? I know some people do that all the time, but I don't want to. My life feels like a nightmare right now though all because of how ****ed up my head is, and even though I've started medication I can't help but feel ending my life is the only way out. I just have to work up the courage, and hope my method works.
I hate to be the suicidal loser 🙁 But a person can only take so much emotional distress, and I can't seem to escape mine. Social anxiety, loneliness (though admittedly that could be worse, I have my family and a few others here and there), an extreme body image issue that I am convinced is the truth, and insecurity and anxiety in general - I am a miserable, neurotic mess. Doing my best to function normally, going to work every day. But how long can I keep that up?
This post was way too long. Sorry. Thanks to anyone who actually reads it.
I've been there. Your life will get better. I have faith and believe it will. You just gotta believe and be possitive, no matter how hard it is. We all love you!
#33071
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MrJones said: ↑I've been called emo, probably in the same places you use to vent 😛
If you're feeling like this, there is no reason to bottle it up inside, it will just make things worse. Only you know how you feel, I don't mind if people come here to vent or to post whatever's on their mind, and if some people don't like it, it's their problem, this thread has been made for this same reason, to show the world how you feel.
Anyway, I know what you mean about that emotional limit we can get to reach, when you wonder if it's really worthy to keep fighting something you clearly see as a battle lost.
You won't lose the battle unless you want to. You are working hard to go to work, and you had a new career as a life goal, didn't you? That sounds to me like something that could make you happy if you keep fighting long enough.
I don't have BDD myself and it's hard for me to understand, but for what I've seen inside and out of this forum it's one of the hardest things to fight against and it can clearly make life awful. You are really strong for living with this issue and the others you may have, like SA itself. You should be proud of yourself for what you're doing.
I was going to respond to Tally's post, but you put it very nicely, Jonesy.
I just took a cold shower and it was wonderful. It lightened my mood quite a bit. I think I'm having a pretty severe bout of summer Seasonal Affective Disorder. The heat is driving me mad!
superfluouslyme said: ↑I was going to respond to Tally's post, but you put it very nicely, Jonesy.
I just took a cold shower and it was wonderful. It lightened my mood quite a bit. I think I'm having a pretty severe bout of summer Seasonal Affective Disorder. The heat is driving me mad!
Hot showers usually make me feel better.
#33073
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Aspie said: ↑Hot showers usually make me feel better.
I'm sure they do when you live in Nova freaking Scotia! 🙂 It's hotter than Hades' butt crack down here.
superfluouslyme said: ↑I'm sure they do when you live in Nova freaking Scotia! 🙂 It's hotter than Hades' butt crack down here.
We usually have hot summers in Canada.
superfluouslyme said: ↑I just took a cold shower and it was wonderful. It lightened my mood quite a bit. I think I'm having a pretty severe bout of summer Seasonal Affective Disorder. The heat is driving me mad!
Isn't this heat just awful?? I would be ecstatic for a 90-degree day. I can't even read a book on the porch in the shade without breaking into a sweat. I just hope the power stays on...
Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said: ↑Isn't this heat just awful?? I would be ecstatic for a 90-degree day. I can't even read a book on the porch in the shade without breaking into a sweat. I just hope the power stays on...
I don't mind the heat, I just wish I could go outside. I can't wait to move. I have an upset stomach at the moment, when it gets better, possdibly either getting in the pool or going for a midnight hike. Not midnight yet.
#33077
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Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said: ↑Isn't this heat just awful?? I would be ecstatic for a 90-degree day. I can't even read a book on the porch in the shade without breaking into a sweat. I just hope the power stays on...
It's only supposed to get to about 96 or so on Sunday and I am super stoked. Any other time, I would be complaining about how hot that is, but I will take it and I will love it.
Aspie said: ↑I don't mind the heat, I just wish I could go outside. I can't wait to move. I have an upset stomach at the moment, when it gets better, possdibly either getting in the pool or going for a midnight hike. Not midnight yet.
Hows abouts you move down here and I'll move up there. According the weather.com, it's 67 and mostly cloudy where you are. It's 87 and feels like 97 where I am.
superfluouslyme said: ↑It's only supposed to get to about 96 or so on Sunday and I am super stoked. Any other time, I would be complaining about how hot that is, but I will take it and I will love it.
Hows abouts you move down here and I'll move up there. According the weather.com, it's 67 and mostly cloudy where you are. It's 87 and feels like 97 where I am.
OK, any Naturist resorts where you live, where I can live at one?
#33079
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Aspie said: ↑OK, any Naturist resorts where you live, where I can live at one?
That would be a negative.
superfluouslyme said: ↑That would be a negative.
Well, you can always move to Canada. Probably not that much warmer, at least during the day, at less you lived by the water.