Shyangel
Well-known member
What!! Who leaves almost a whole box of chocolates uneaten!! This is a very foreign concept to me.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
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What!! Who leaves almost a whole box of chocolates uneaten!! This is a very foreign concept to me.
Feeble Scream
Active member
Horrible... I hate valentine's day. I feel like puking any minute.
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doubtmyself
Banned
chest pains on the right side...oh no what is this?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I'm pissed off. Depressed, miserable, self-loathing. ::
Why do I even bother anymore? No-one understands what I'm going through, apart from people on here. I mean, even my own mother can't even comprehend why it's NOT as easy as getting me out of the house and suddenly I'm happy and the anxiety and depression is gone, it just disappears. And I'm "normal". F*%k! If only it were that easy...
It seems I'm not supposed to talk about how I'm really feeling. I mean, who give a f!%k? Just smile, take a pill and pretend your happy - even though you're not. Put on the act, because that's all it is, an act.
Depressed, miserable, self-loathing. ::Why do I even bother anymore? No-one understands what I'm going through, apart from people on here. I mean, even my own mother can't even comprehend why it's NOT as easy as getting me out of the house and suddenly I'm happy and the anxiety and depression is gone, it just disappears. And I'm "normal". F*%k! If only it were that easy...
It seems I'm not supposed to talk about how I'm really feeling. I mean, who give a f!%k? Just smile, take a pill and pretend your happy - even though you're not. Put on the act, because that's all it is, an act.
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sullyS25
Well-known member
I'm pissed off.
Why do I even bother anymore? No-one understands what I'm going through, apart from people on here. I mean, even my own mother can't even comprehend why it's NOT as easy as getting me out of the house and suddenly I'm happy and the anxiety and depression is gone, it just disappears. And I'm "normal". F*%k! If only it were that easy...
It seems I'm not supposed to talk about how I'm really feeling. I mean, who give a f!%k? Just smile, take a pill and pretend your happy - even though you're not. Put on the act, because that's all it is, an act.
I am sorry you are struggling man that sounds horrible. Do you like to read at all? I only ask because I know how it feels and the regular therapy never helped me....Then I met this counselor when I was in rehab and he recommended a book called "The Power of Now" and it isn't the typical **** and it really helped me.
I personally was sick of therapists asking me how I feel and why I felt that way.....blah, blah blah...Take this SSRI or Benzo and things will be better bull****. So I wanted something different and I was desperate at that point in my life and read that book "The Power of Now" and it really helped me....
I just hate to see someone suffering like I used to and still do sometimes so I like to offer what helped me to others.
doubtmyself
Banned
The Power of Now was the perfect medicine for me anyway.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yeah, that book's been recommended to me before, haven't bought it yet, though. And the way I've been feeling lately, haven't had much time to read, either, sadly. :
: Came too a rather s*%tty realisation while writing in my journal last night, let just say neither of my parents seem to give a f*%k about how I'm feeling, most of the time. Mum continuously give the same old f*%king line, telling me that I have to accept my disability. Meaning what exactly? I was born with cerebral palsy, over the last 12 years of my life it's gotten progressively worse, as doctor told me it would. So, accept what? That things won't getting any better, unless I have surgery. She also continues to tell me that therapy/counselling would just be a waste of time, as I'm probably beyond help. Because that's what her counselor told when she went for counselling years ago.
Sorry for the rant, I'm not in a good place mentally or emotionally right now, as you can probably tell from my previous post.
sullyS25
Well-known member
Yeah, that book's been recommended to me before, haven't bought it yet, though. And the way I've been feeling lately, haven't had much time to read, either, sadly. :
Mum continuously give the same old f*%king line, telling me that I have to accept my disability. Meaning what exactly? I was born with cerebral palsy, over the last 12 years of my life it's gotten progressively worse, as doctor told me it would. So, accept what? That things won't getting any better, unless I have surgery. She also continues to tell me that therapy/counselling would just be a waste of time, as I'm probably beyond help. Because that's what her counselor told when she went for counselling years ago.
Sorry for the rant, I'm not in a good place mentally or emotionally right now, as you can probably tell from my previous post.
No need to apologize man I understand and I know the feeling so rant away....you should at least give it a try when you have some time, if you do. I am sure it would help you a lot....Sorry you are feeling ****ty though man that never is fun
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Thanks. I've had a good cry about it, so I'm feeling a little bit better. It's just frustrating trying - and failing - to get some understanding and empathy from my family.
sullyS25
Well-known member
^^ I think they should practice this acceptance they preach and accept the fact that you are having a hard time and support you. It is pretty hypocritical to preach acceptance when you yourself cannot accept. I never like seeing hypocrisy and I am sure it gets frustrating as hell.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Exactly! I wish it was the case. I actually trying talking to my mum about my problems and her response was "I don't understand, what are you on about?" and to ignore me. Though, it's not the first time. Sadly, I think my mum just prefers being in denial about my depression ans anxiety issues, rather than supporting me.
And, you're right, it beyond frustrating. Made all the more by my mum makng overly negative, snide comments, belittling my confidence, then saying "Don't put yourself" - as if too justify her negativity. All the while I'm thinking "I believe you just did".
pop-princess
Well-known member
My day was excuse me but kinda ****ty. I wanted to run away from science class today. We had to laborate in groups and I was shaking and not expressing a single word. Felt more introvert than i've done for a long time. My teacher and classmates probably think i'm autistic or something. Oh and I was late also yippeeey..
Also saw many buying Valentines flowers and chocolate. I became jealous and bitter.
Also saw many buying Valentines flowers and chocolate. I became jealous and bitter.
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jonas89
Well-known member
Im getting sick of Facebook from all that valentine crap otherwise I haven't notices people doing anything particular for this day other then FB posts
pop-princess
Well-known member
For me it seemed like anywhere I turned my head I saw flowers, hearts and chocolate boxes. Stupid commercial day! :
:I've decided to ignore and not log into Facebook this day
jonas89
Well-known member
For me it seemed like anywhere I turned my head I saw flowers, hearts and chocolate boxes. Stupid commercial day! :
I've decided to ignore and not log into Facebook this day
That's a wise thing to do, its hard when you're FB addict with a strong need for it haha, otherwise I have been closed in school all day so I haven't really seen any commercials for this special special day
Shyangel
Well-known member
That sounds like hell to me. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Don't let the day bother you, it really doesn't mean anything. It's silly that so many people put so much meaning into this day, it's just a day.
Things will probably be better tomorrow, keep your chin up.
I get Jealous when I see people with chocolate to, but it's just because I want to eat it.
pop-princess
Well-known member
That sounds like hell to me. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Don't let the day bother you, it really doesn't mean anything. It's silly that so many people put so much meaning into this day, it's just a day.
Things will probably be better tomorrow, keep your chin up.
I get Jealous when I see people with chocolate to, but it's just because I want to eat it.
Thank you shyangel
Yes I totally agree that Valentine's day is overrated overall but I can't help but feel a little jealous when my friends tell about their romantic dinners and blabla. Tomorrow will most probably be better because i'm free from school, job and pressure 
Phoenixx
Well-known member
Exhausted, but relieved that most of my day is over. Too much socializing for me today. I had all this stuff to do though, and I better suck it up and not feel so panicky if I expect to move out and be on my own. :/ At least I finally got my other bank account established. That was easier than I thought it'd be, and the guy that helped me was very nice too. (and cute!)
I survived my first art class critique today too. This was the main thing I was dreading. I couldn't stop shaking all day and even during everyone else's critiques my eyes started to water and thought I was going to burst into tears right there. :: Thank god the lights were off. No one needed to see how red my face was or how watery my eyes were getting. Anyway, I didn't do fantastic, but I guess I didn't do that horrible of a job on my project. I think what bothered me the most with the critique wasn't what everyone else thought of it as it was this kid in the back of the room. He's a very nerdy kid, but not a quiet one. He's very verbal, and LOVES to criticize everyone's work (He was doing so even when we were looking at fantastic pieces during the first week), yet his own work is only subpar. I'm not trying to sound mean here, but I think before you open your mouth and start criticizing everyone, take a look at your own work and talents first and see where YOU can improve rather than focusing on everyone else and making it look like you're the wikipedia of photoshop. /end irritating rant
Despite half of the good comments I got, I still hate it though. I hate thinking about it and I hate looking at it. We're allowed to re-do it come May, hopefully my Photoshop skills and creativity are MUCH better by then.
I survived my first art class critique today too. This was the main thing I was dreading. I couldn't stop shaking all day and even during everyone else's critiques my eyes started to water and thought I was going to burst into tears right there. :
: Thank god the lights were off. No one needed to see how red my face was or how watery my eyes were getting. Anyway, I didn't do fantastic, but I guess I didn't do that horrible of a job on my project. I think what bothered me the most with the critique wasn't what everyone else thought of it as it was this kid in the back of the room. He's a very nerdy kid, but not a quiet one. He's very verbal, and LOVES to criticize everyone's work (He was doing so even when we were looking at fantastic pieces during the first week), yet his own work is only subpar. I'm not trying to sound mean here, but I think before you open your mouth and start criticizing everyone, take a look at your own work and talents first and see where YOU can improve rather than focusing on everyone else and making it look like you're the wikipedia of photoshop. /end irritating rantDespite half of the good comments I got, I still hate it though. I hate thinking about it and I hate looking at it. We're allowed to re-do it come May, hopefully my Photoshop skills and creativity are MUCH better by then.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
*looks back at previous posts* You guys spent the day talking about chocolate while I was gone? Man, I missed the conversation! D:
Today I had a peanut butter filled Dove chocolate nugget... thing... Whatever you want to call it. :: It was awesome! I've always loved Dove chocolate. It's sooo creamy and good. I also love Lindt's dark chocolate bars. I never used to like dark chocolate, but I've taken a liking to it recently. I still can't stand Hershey's Dark Chocolate though. Bleh!
I also recommend this brand. Organic/All-natural chocolate is the way to go! I find there's so much more flavor to it than the commercial stuff. So far my favorite Endangered Species bar is the dark chocolate with espresso beans. Very good!
Today I had a peanut butter filled Dove chocolate nugget... thing... Whatever you want to call it. :
: It was awesome! I've always loved Dove chocolate. It's sooo creamy and good. I also love Lindt's dark chocolate bars. I never used to like dark chocolate, but I've taken a liking to it recently. I still can't stand Hershey's Dark Chocolate though. Bleh!I also recommend this brand. Organic/All-natural chocolate is the way to go! I find there's so much more flavor to it than the commercial stuff. So far my favorite Endangered Species bar is the dark chocolate with espresso beans. Very good!
pop-princess
Well-known member
Phoenixx I must say wow very strong of you to go to that art class critique! Next class will probably be easier.