have you considered living independently?

[hardy]

I am really sick of living with parents and am pretty sure living in comforts is making me anxious....what do you think....am sure about this n planning to leave home soon.....it's about time i face the world....and somewhere i am sure that has all the answers for my social anxiety problems.period.


btw i am sexy and i know it....lool..thats the confidence one gets when one lives on his own.....yea...

 

[Arthur_Dent]

I doubt it will cure my social anxiety, but it will remove a huge deal of stress from my back. For a couple years I've been really craving to move out on my own, and this summer once I finish the classes for my associates degree, I should be able to get a job that will allow me to finally do so.

 

[hardy]

i doubt ur doubt...i am pretty sure one cannot think so negatively when he has to make his own money n food....he/she will start living a real life

 

[Arthur_Dent]

Well but what about those people in the forum who live on their own and still have SA and think negatively?

 

[Ithior]

I don't think it'll help with SA but it'll help with other "mental problems". I'm finishing my bachelor's this semester. After that I'm planning on getting a job and I was thinking of renting an apartment close to here for a month or longer. I would see if I could adapt. If I couldn't I would still have a safety net, since I would be living close to my parents they would be able to help me.

 

[lurknomore]

Well but what about those people in the forum who live on their own and still have SA and think negatively?

*raises hand*
I'm living on my own and making a mess of it, barely scraping by and very negative about everything in my life. I work menial jobs, and have an education that I lack the confidence and people skills to make use of.

 

[Saraswati]

As with everything in life - it has a good and a bad side.
The good side would be the "freedom" to do what you want (if they are also a source of negativity in your life, getting away would do you good) and being thrown out there. That may help with overcoming SA or making it less powerful.
The bad side would be all the stress that comes from being forced into things you don't want to do so you can survive on your own. That could throw you in a even darker pit I guess.

I live with my mom and I pay for my own food, clothes, etc. But at the moment I can't imagine also paying for the electricity, water, rent....
For some people such drastic decision could change their life for the better.... and for some it would be too overwhelming. It depends.

I would really like to move out and live on my own but I think the best way for me is to take little steps towards achieving that

 

[hardy]

lurknomore...there r people here who r afraid to leave their room. it definitely helps people who don't want to leave their rooms....and a genuine reason like earning for food is a good thing in my opinion. also...the struggle will make them(us) stronger.....

i knw thr are social phobics living on their own n also much better than some of us who never leave their prisons....having to fend themselves can improve self esteem as well as be a nice exposure.

and btw parents almost never help...in my case at least.....they made it worse by showing sympathy. i knw it's not a quick fix...but that is the way...make a living and one will earn enough self-respect to lose social anxiety.

 

[lurknomore]

lurknomore...there r people here who r afraid to leave their room. it definitely helps people who don't want to leave their rooms....and a genuine reason like earning for food is a good thing in my opinion. also...the struggle will make them(us) stronger.....

i knw thr are social phobics living on their own n also much better than some of us who never leave their prisons....having to fend themselves can improve self esteem as well as be a nice exposure.

and btw parents almost never help...in my case at least.....they made it worse by showing sympathy. i knw it's not a quick fix...but that is the way...make a living and one will earn enough self-respect to lose social anxiety.

I kind of see your point, but would still argue that those of us living independently are not necessarily better off as far as our SA goes than those who never leave their homes/rooms. In my case, yes I'm "out there" trying to make a living, but my SA is no better, perhaps even worse than when I was living with my family. At least with them I was socializing with someone, now I'm not at all even though I'm around a lot of people every day.

 

[Flanscho]

When I was around 20 years old, I thought that I'd never become really independant, unless I move out of my parents flat and into another city. So, whe I was 22 years, I did that. And it helped. I don't think I'd have been able to reduce my SA as effectively, if I'd have ever stayed in the nest, protected, cared for, shielded from the world.

So I shared a flat with some others, from age 22 to 32. Now I'm 33, and living in my own flat.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

It won't cure your SA, but it will force you to face it, and if you're courageous and imaginative enough it might lead you somewhere.

 

[mikebird]

Face up to problems you don't want to

All good times in life is when you're under the protection of your parents and hopefully more family members too

I was desperate to get out when I was 17. It was a gamble. Just about all of it went smoothly. I call this the easy life of a normal, always happy, smiling, giggling person. Even in King's Speech movie, he gets into the position he was expecting, and walks through the halls everyone bows and respects him.

Face the fear

You have to be ready for the bad bits and see them coming, and take action; don't pretend all's well. I was accused of being selfish and that our new apartment home was for me. I wasn't good enough to convince my girlfriend that it's a big step forward in investment and stop paying rent. You start small and within a year or two we'd keep going and move into a bigger place with her support. She decided to leave. Ever since the story has been downward. If I'd just explained things properly life would be rosy by now. I had marriage in mind - the next step, after owning property. I didn't have it in me to propose. She had the will to turn it around and make her move. We did go through the facts but she didn't listen.

No good looking back to learn from this. It's too late. She was my platform of social activity for those 4.5 years, already in our own place for a while, away from bigger shared houses.

Maintain your social connections, however awkward it may be. Don't let it slip away

 

[jaim38]

Yes, in the past I have considered living independently, and that's what I did. It didn't go well for me. Horrible experiences with the neighbors, and people in general.

 

[Kiwong]

I live independently, and it is my preferred way of being. I can enjoy my own company very much.