has social anxiety REALLY fuc*ed up your life?
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nico82
Well-known member
I can totally relate to pretty much all of the previous posters. It has adversly affected almost all of the aspects of my life.
My high school years were also pretty bad. I was never made fun of (even though I was really overweight) I just could never know how to hang out with people so I missed out on a lot of opportunities and experiences.
Even now at 26 I find it really hard to be around most people, I either start internally hyperventilating or start overheating and sweating. I also happen to be gay which just contributes to my general anxiety and makes it hard to relate to my family.
I find it hard to believe that I'll ever be able to undo all the damage that this has done to me regardless of what some therapists or motivational speakers think. It's something that's been so deeply ingrained in your psyche and in your being that it's like trying to forget a bad memory. You can try but it'll always be around to haunt you.
My high school years were also pretty bad. I was never made fun of (even though I was really overweight) I just could never know how to hang out with people so I missed out on a lot of opportunities and experiences.
Even now at 26 I find it really hard to be around most people, I either start internally hyperventilating or start overheating and sweating. I also happen to be gay which just contributes to my general anxiety and makes it hard to relate to my family.
I find it hard to believe that I'll ever be able to undo all the damage that this has done to me regardless of what some therapists or motivational speakers think. It's something that's been so deeply ingrained in your psyche and in your being that it's like trying to forget a bad memory. You can try but it'll always be around to haunt you.
Andrew
Well-known member
My inability to functionally deal with anxiety has completely destroyed every single aspect of my life. I am in my late 20s with no job and am living at home. I have no friends at all. I am surrounded by people that don't understand me, that are terrible people in general, and yet I have to spend every day with them. I do very little other than sit on the computer all day.
What used to be the tightening stomach, the blank mind that would leave me with nothing to say, has now become obsessive compulsive thoughts that distract me from even listening to what someone is saying. Unless I am completely comfortable, which will never happen with any normal person, I cannot develop any kind of relationship at all.
I have been through a lot of therapy, I more so have OCD now than SA. The reality is that no psychotherapy in the world will make me better. My problems are so deeply rooted in every fibre of my body. I started having problems when I was very young, and it has only gotten worse over time.
I can't relate to anybody. Their lives are so different to mine. I don't even feel like I belong in society at all. I feel like an alien walking alone through a completely different civilisation. Do people even care about each other? Why has nobody ever even tried to help me?
I was someone who had a very high level of potential. People would always say that I was so good-looking and so intelligent. They expected everything of me. They expected me to be rich and succesful with the most beautiful wife. I was smarter than pretty much everybody at school yet they are all better off than me now. All I want is to be living again.
In the last week or so I have started looking for a full-time job so that I can leave this hell that I won't even dare call 'home'. I have had jobs before and quit them. I went to university and even got a degree but I do not want to work in an office. My OCD goes crazy when I am left to ponder at a desk all day. I am looking for some kind of hands-on or customer-focused position and maybe one day I will work up to a managerial position. Yet I don't even know if I will find a job, I don't know where to begin or what to do. It is Christmas time and the permanent jobs have mostly dried up so I guess I will be spending what is the worst time of year for me, at this hell house.
What used to be the tightening stomach, the blank mind that would leave me with nothing to say, has now become obsessive compulsive thoughts that distract me from even listening to what someone is saying. Unless I am completely comfortable, which will never happen with any normal person, I cannot develop any kind of relationship at all.
I have been through a lot of therapy, I more so have OCD now than SA. The reality is that no psychotherapy in the world will make me better. My problems are so deeply rooted in every fibre of my body. I started having problems when I was very young, and it has only gotten worse over time.
I can't relate to anybody. Their lives are so different to mine. I don't even feel like I belong in society at all. I feel like an alien walking alone through a completely different civilisation. Do people even care about each other? Why has nobody ever even tried to help me?
I was someone who had a very high level of potential. People would always say that I was so good-looking and so intelligent. They expected everything of me. They expected me to be rich and succesful with the most beautiful wife. I was smarter than pretty much everybody at school yet they are all better off than me now. All I want is to be living again.
In the last week or so I have started looking for a full-time job so that I can leave this hell that I won't even dare call 'home'. I have had jobs before and quit them. I went to university and even got a degree but I do not want to work in an office. My OCD goes crazy when I am left to ponder at a desk all day. I am looking for some kind of hands-on or customer-focused position and maybe one day I will work up to a managerial position. Yet I don't even know if I will find a job, I don't know where to begin or what to do. It is Christmas time and the permanent jobs have mostly dried up so I guess I will be spending what is the worst time of year for me, at this hell house.
jesuszavala13
Member
yes
hanibobonie15
New member
well im still in hs so i dont know if it will ruin my life
but it does frustrate me
i want to be a singer when i grow up
but i freakin cant sing in front of an audience!
i pisses the hell out of me
i know im good and my sister tells me that im really good and i have nothing to worry about
and my friends at school always say ohh if your really good than sing for us.
i just make up an excuse like i have a sore throat and promise them i will sing for them later (which i havent done yet)
ughh it buggs me that i cant show anyone my talent!!
but it does frustrate me
i want to be a singer when i grow up
but i freakin cant sing in front of an audience!
i pisses the hell out of me
i know im good and my sister tells me that im really good and i have nothing to worry about
and my friends at school always say ohh if your really good than sing for us.
i just make up an excuse like i have a sore throat and promise them i will sing for them later (which i havent done yet)
ughh it buggs me that i cant show anyone my talent!!
CastlesInTheSky
Member
Oh, if I could only describe how much it's done to wreck it.
My mum hates me now. She wishes I was a normal child. She told me half an hour ago that if she'd have known I was going to cause so much trouble, she would have drowned me right after birth. She said she didn't know why when I was born, she was so happy. And this wasn't even in jest. She so resents me for having this problem. I can't wait till I'm an adult and I can move out.
And school! Pah. I only have one friend as a result of pushing others away, and she's slipping away from me too because she wants me to hang round in the 'big group' of our class. I can't do that because people in that group bully me horrendously, calling me 'ugly' and 'nerdy' and 'freak.' It's horrible. And so I end up missing lunch because I can't eat in the hall by myself, hiding in the toilets and library at break, but everywhere I go, I still can't escape people.
It's so lonely.
My mum hates me now. She wishes I was a normal child. She told me half an hour ago that if she'd have known I was going to cause so much trouble, she would have drowned me right after birth. She said she didn't know why when I was born, she was so happy. And this wasn't even in jest. She so resents me for having this problem. I can't wait till I'm an adult and I can move out.
And school! Pah. I only have one friend as a result of pushing others away, and she's slipping away from me too because she wants me to hang round in the 'big group' of our class. I can't do that because people in that group bully me horrendously, calling me 'ugly' and 'nerdy' and 'freak.' It's horrible. And so I end up missing lunch because I can't eat in the hall by myself, hiding in the toilets and library at break, but everywhere I go, I still can't escape people.
It's so lonely.
mismeek
Well-known member
your mom is RUDE! My mom doesn't like the face that I have panic attacks everytime we go out somewhere or when I'm under alot of stress, but that just because she doesn't understand. Maybe you could try explaining how they make you feel..it may or may not work.
as for getting away from people...yeah not gonna happen. What I find that works is just exposing yoursef to lots of people just a bit at a time. for me its was malls or stores that panic. what I did was go to the mall and just sit in the parking lot for a while everyday. when I stopped having P.A.'s there i moved to the front of the building..etc etc. until i was able to go inside. I still cant go on busy days..but i feel i've made some improvement.
I still can't eat in front of people, but I keep myself from being hungry but bringing carrots or something like that and eat it in my car or un the hallways at school.
I hope things works out for you! cheer up! If everything fails you can always be a really cool cat lady
So I found this thread and I found it... what, therapeutic... that it seems that for better or worse that the people were like me. I read the thread and was inspired to write how SA has hurt me or how I was trying to control my SA-type behavior... that, well... "backflipped" on me...? Well, I was so inspired that I was writing... and writing... and writing.
Being the perfectionist that I am, I couldn't stop telling you my social life without telling you my latest obsession with iTunes. Or I couldn't stop telling you that my avoidance for drugs without telling you why I avoid some people... see, there is a circular logic going on. And it's detailed... like, well someone might shriek "OMFG get a life!" at least, I'm sure, in the real world...
Anyway, out of respect of those that don't want to have to go through a 2409 word or 12812 character essay about Jack in this particular thread (and to save someone from going OMFG in this thread as a reply had I posted it here), well, I made another thread where I discuss my own SA, for warts and all. I guess I wouldn't need to post here, then, but this thread inspired me to make a new thread... just because, I guess.
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/sas-affect-on-me-17556/
Thanks.
-Jack in WA
Being the perfectionist that I am, I couldn't stop telling you my social life without telling you my latest obsession with iTunes. Or I couldn't stop telling you that my avoidance for drugs without telling you why I avoid some people... see, there is a circular logic going on. And it's detailed... like, well someone might shriek "OMFG get a life!" at least, I'm sure, in the real world...
Anyway, out of respect of those that don't want to have to go through a 2409 word or 12812 character essay about Jack in this particular thread (and to save someone from going OMFG in this thread as a reply had I posted it here), well, I made another thread where I discuss my own SA, for warts and all. I guess I wouldn't need to post here, then, but this thread inspired me to make a new thread... just because, I guess.
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/sas-affect-on-me-17556/
Thanks.
-Jack in WA
demelsa68
New member
Yep, it sure has, I am 40 now, and I just know that if I didn't have this, my life would have been a hell of a lot more successful and financially solid than it has been.
For one, you wouldn't put up with as much shite in your personal life, and also love relationships, that often people stay in, because they feel trapped, knowing they just cant muster the self esteem to flick the negative situations or people off, and go start a new life and be able to support yourself.
So I feel for you all, I really do. And I wish we could all get together and support each other and build each other up in person. There is nothing better than having people close to you who understand what living with this is really like.
For one, you wouldn't put up with as much shite in your personal life, and also love relationships, that often people stay in, because they feel trapped, knowing they just cant muster the self esteem to flick the negative situations or people off, and go start a new life and be able to support yourself.
So I feel for you all, I really do. And I wish we could all get together and support each other and build each other up in person. There is nothing better than having people close to you who understand what living with this is really like.
mndigi
Well-known member
Oh yes, it has. It has ruined my youth and made me feel old since 20-22. And what's worse maybe is I long for what I have missed. I am 26 now and at this point I feel that I will long for my missed youth forever and ever. Which might be just sad and pathetic.
So yeah, SA has ruined the birthday party of this "kid" for which he was waiting for months. But SA put him in a coma so that he missed his birthday party waking a month after it passed. And this was one birthday party which won't ever come back. He's left clutching his broken heart in his hands.
So yeah, SA has ruined the birthday party of this "kid" for which he was waiting for months. But SA put him in a coma so that he missed his birthday party waking a month after it passed. And this was one birthday party which won't ever come back. He's left clutching his broken heart in his hands.
recluse
Well-known member
Yes and no. I guess i have missed out on things such as having a girlfriend/friends but i have also done things which many people have never done, such as going on planes to foreign countries. I feel that my social anxiety has made me independent and a loner. A lot of people comment on how brave i have been travelling to places on my own, but i am so used to my own company i don't think twice. It doesn't mean that i don't want to be in a relationship though.
princess_haru
Well-known member
That's awful of your mum, she sounds like a really selfish person! It sounds like you'll be much better off when you can move out and don't have to put up with this emotional abuse any more! By the way, I used to hide in the toilets and library at school too. I used to pretend I was ill to get out of PE and sneak a book into the loos so I could read instead of playing hockey or whatever
mrb
Well-known member
woolgather
New member
Yes. It really has. Although I was bullied a lot, I was a good student until 17.Then all went wrong, depression, alcohol...Fortunately, I stopped with this 10 years later when my phobia bettered a bit. So yes, it has f*cked up my life.
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I was fine...I was born in the US, raised somewhere else.....then i came back to the US...and here is when i became socially AWKWARD.......To the US...I really hate this country....people here are like robots, walk fast and care so much about money or this and that. I used to be happier when I didn't live here.............
Sloth
Active member
Yes. Life is just a thing, I'm just a piece of meat. Life gives me no enjoyment or excitement like other people my age out there living it up. I don't have any skills, knowledge, passion, motivation, like other people my age. I've missed out on SO much and always will.
EDIT: I just realised I answered this about my current feelings as I've been deeply depressed.
Though SA is probably somewhat responsible for my other problems. If I had friends, if I wasn't ashamed of what people thought of me and my interests, if I didn't have such low self esteem, I would be far better developed and probably wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now.
EDIT: I just realised I answered this about my current feelings as I've been deeply depressed.
Though SA is probably somewhat responsible for my other problems. If I had friends, if I wasn't ashamed of what people thought of me and my interests, if I didn't have such low self esteem, I would be far better developed and probably wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now.
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JA2007
Well-known member
Yes!!! SA is the reason I didn't finish my college degree and am now looking for jobs which I know I am overqualified for. I screw up job interviews because I am so nervous that I start talking really fast and sound like a complete idiot. I think I have so much potential but it doesn't show because of SA. Because of SA I have very few friends. I can't make new friends and I can't keep the ones I had because I won't call them. Because of SA I had only one or two friends all through high school and was really lonely on the weekends. I spent many lunches alone and never participated in after school activities, which affected my college applications and I didn't get the scholarships that I wanted. It also keeps me from visiting my grandparents on my own. I have to wait until my parents are going over there. All my cousins visit my grandparents like all the time and then I look like I just don't care.