has social anxiety REALLY fuc*ed up your life?

[Walk]

It affects most aspects of my life. I don't even want to list them. It's almost all of it, really.

-My love life. I've been wanting a gf since i was 10, and I've come close, but bad luck and fears came in the way...

-My relationship with my family members, including my extended ones. I know that they wouldn't care if I told them I had the disease, but i feel the pressure to be a likeable cousin, nephew, too much to admit to them anything.

-My social life. have no memories of hanging out with real friends after school, of helping each other in different areas of life. I don't even know what it feels to have friends any more. I can't go call anyone in the weekends or in days off to do anything. Like, not even just shoot the shit in each others' homes.

-My education. I'm in college now, thankfully, but the only reason I didn't do well in high school was directly related to my SA.

etc etc


I am in a very sad state of being, and I blame myself, my parents, my circumstances, bad luck, and who knows, maybe deep down i resent god for doing this to a person (me) who doesn't deserve this form of slow, gradual torture.

Alright, hopefully that rant was good for me.

 

[jordo]

wow...this is one of those depressing threads.

I am one of the most despicable people ever

you aint got nothing on me .

yeah...since i moved to vegas...my lifes be fucked. not that is was peachy before but definately not as bad.

yeah...i changed my major so many times in college thinking it would change my life and finished with an 2 yr degree in business and never even used it :roll:. i went to 2 technical schools. all that money and work and for nothing. i could have finished medical school all for nothing cuz of my sa. i didnt think ahead that i needed social skills to do work (guess i thought i could just do the work without talking to people).

 

[silentworld]

It has fuc*ed up my life many times, like some of you people in school, fuc*ing sh*t!!! i hated everyone, it was the worst i dont even want to remember but i was bullied and that kinda made me the bitter person i am today... and other stuff, still i never dropped school, i finished everything, now im looking for a job. I too jump outta my skin when a toaster pops ahhahaa,i get nervous with calls, i dont talk too much with the few friends who still talk to me, i get anxious with many things, bla bla bla...
But even if SA has ruined a little bit my life i dont regret a lot of things cause i guess that makes me different in some way, and i kinda like that... weird... by the way hippiechild your picture looks cool.

 

[colourscolours]

yes.and it does scares me to know tt i am contented with this life tt i am leading.waking up late,eat lunch,watch tv,go online,laze around,sleep some more,not thinking,read,go out for drinks(rarely),cycle during evening around my housing area,drawing at times.i am so frustrated at times.i totally have zero motivation!is like i have no ambition or even short term goals.i lost all sense of self.i don't know where to start getting it back.it has been 2 years since i lost direction.now i am 18 and fucked up

 

[billy]

my life is 100perc destroyed i missed 9th-12th grade and im now in college.I dont know how to interact or joke around with anyone my age at all(since the time i dropped onut of hs i had no friends)I get along decently with adults now but anyone my age or close i cant make them laugh at all or really hold a conversation jsut due to the wayt hey speak.

 

[Akira]

I don't regard social anxiety as some kind of illness I caught that swept my old life away. Every thing that has happened in my life up to now has shaped me into what I am today; I think of social anxiety as a way to accurately classify my personality, which is the result of my life thus far. I believe I'm the way I am simply because I'm the way I am. So no, I don't blame social anxiety for anything.

 

[recluse]

When i compare my life compared to my peers then yes. My therapist told me that i am still young and can change my life around, but i already ancient even though i am only 27...Just the thought of getting towards 30 with no real close friends and no love life scares the hell out of me. I just can't believe how fast the years are flying by....Almost too fast for me to have the chance to improve my life. It feels like only yesterday when i was leaving my teen years on my twentieth birthday and i remember feeling like my life had been wasted even then.

 

[footballfan]

My life has been messed up by SA until now, but I'm making an effort to get my life to the way I want it, no more looking back!!!

 

[Rodox]

It fucked up in ways I cant even begin to explain........

 

[Hoth]

I like to imagine that if I'd been social I would've done something to get myself killed by now. Gone to a party and died drunk-driving home. Gotten into the drug scene and died of an overdose. Had a relationship that ended in such heartbreak that I committed suicide. Joined a criminal gang and died at a bank shootout. Something like that. So, social anxiety saved my life. Observers would say I don't have a life anyway, but I'm still glad to have it.

 

[playthepsychedelic]

I like to imagine that if I'd been social I would've done something to get myself killed by now. Gone to a party and died drunk-driving home. Gotten into the drug scene and died of an overdose. Had a relationship that ended in such heartbreak that I committed suicide. Joined a criminal gang and died at a bank shootout. Something like that. So, social anxiety saved my life. Observers would say I don't have a life anyway, but I'm still glad to have it.

interesting point of view :roll:

 

[coriander1992]

No, I will not allow it to fuck up my life.

 

[kiwimanji]

Do any of you feel like you can't relate to other people? Like, for some reason, you are different from everyone else? I've felt like that since middle school. That I just don't fit in anywhere. I do feel that SA gets in the way of enjoying life to the fullest. It seems to have made me bitter. I don't open my mouth much anymore, for fear that I'll say something bad that I never meant to say. It happens a lot. I feel that it makes me come across as a bitter person. As a person no one wants to be around. I find it hard to relate to people because I know nothing about dating. I'm 23 and never ever kissed a girl in my entire life. How bad is that? I get nervous when I talk to girls. I feel like I can't say much. So many times I have wanted to ask out a girl, but I always end up feeling like I'm not good enough. I feel like if she gets to know me, that she will run away from me. I fear that I won't be able to handle that rejection. I'm just rambling on. Felt like I had to get that out. I have problems taking an interest in activities and hobbies. I try to get rid of negative thoughts, but they are really hard to get rid of, especially when they have lived within you for years. Do any of you feel this way? Any advice could be helpful, and is appreciated.

 

[mismeek]

not my whole life... just some of it ..like relationships and Speech class... lol

 

[mismeek]

Do any of you feel like you can't relate to other people? Like, for some reason, you are different from everyone else? I've felt like that since middle school. That I just don't fit in anywhere. I do feel that SA gets in the way of enjoying life to the fullest. It seems to have made me bitter. I don't open my mouth much anymore, for fear that I'll say something bad that I never meant to say. It happens a lot. I feel that it makes me come across as a bitter person. As a person no one wants to be around. I find it hard to relate to people because I know nothing about dating. I'm 23 and never ever kissed a girl in my entire life. How bad is that? I get nervous when I talk to girls. I feel like I can't say much. So many times I have wanted to ask out a girl, but I always end up feeling like I'm not good enough. I feel like if she gets to know me, that she will run away from me. I fear that I won't be able to handle that rejection. I'm just rambling on. Felt like I had to get that out. I have problems taking an interest in activities and hobbies. I try to get rid of negative thoughts, but they are really hard to get rid of, especially when they have lived within you for years. Do any of you feel this way? Any advice could be helpful, and is appreciated.

heh.. i think that the anxiety talking..

I would start small.. like just talking to the check out girl at the department store. You don't have to say much.. just a hi or how are you. Its a no pressure situation because you don't have to have a long conversation. Ten just work your way up.

the rejection isnt going to kill you..trust me

 

[KevVversion1]

I feel like my life is completly different to what it should be because of SA. I have been trying desperatly for the last 5 years to salvage something from my life and have had girlfriends, I've had jobs and passed driving test. But I did it all too late - I missed out on the normal 17-25 experiences of college, friends, girls, jobs etc - those were suppoed to be the best years of my life - I can never get those back, those years shape who you are and most people come out of it with confidence and a life - all I have from those years is memories of sitting around the house creating my own bizarre imaginary entertainment and a 3 year job where I was literally mute - and considered an ignorant freak. During that whole time I had a hideous ponytail because I was too scared to go to the barbers. Whatever I do now, I feel is a token gesture in a way - although I have a job, a girlfriend, and a car - the job isnt anywhere near what I could of acheived had I not quit my A Levels because of SA, my girlfriend is great - but she is 19, I am 31 ... and I cant help thinking I'm gonna hold her back and my SA will somehow fuck things up because I know that had I actually lived those years from 17-25 I would now be married and probably have kids, my own house and a better job - life would of been so different.

The only good thing that came out of it is that because I worked for those 3 years and never went out the door and still lived at home with my mum, I had no expences so saved a bit of money. Which means I can put down a deposit on a house. But even still I feel at 31, taking out a 30 year mortgage doing a job that doesnt pay great - it's gonna be a struggle for us. Although i'm actually in the process of buying this house with my girlfriend - in the back of mind I have a feeling that I just wanna quit the job, dump my girlfriend and be on my own for the rest of my life.

 

[madmike]

Totally fucked up everything in my life. The problem with social anxiety is it moulds you into a boring person with nothing to ever talk about, and you'll get to the point where everyone else seems to be socialising their lives away while you're just sitting behind the computer not having even picked up on basic social cues. I can't stand myself the way i am but feel powerless to change anything... because about two years ago when i started college (british college... so high school) i tried so very hard to step out of myself, be more confident, be happier, be more sociable, which at first worked great and i even managed to get a girlfriend through it... but in the end i just lost complete sense of myself and became so schizophrenic/depressive/apathetic that i just gave up

So my social anxiety has lead to more paranoia, split personality, fits of depression...

Having said that i now feel much better/more secure than i did two years ago and i'm actually trying to improve (even though i'm not quite sure yet how to go about doing it judging by the disaster i got into last time)

 

[lonely_world]

Let's just say that I will be in therapy for atleast another 16 years...

 

[mismeek]

8O everone is so down!!

 

[light]

don't let your past define you. people only respond to you according to how you feel about yourself. we're all human, there's no one better than you. like yourself for who you are. stop the negative thoughts completely and see what happens. feel comfortable about yourself, and people will respond, likewise...................