has social anxiety REALLY fuc*ed up your life?

[UltraShy]

I'll be 36 next month, have never had a job, still live at home like a child, and haven't done a damn thing since college graduation. Yeah, I think that counts as royally f ucked up.

 

[princess_haru]

Yes!!! SA is the reason I didn't finish my college degree and am now looking for jobs which I know I am overqualified for. I screw up job interviews because I am so nervous that I start talking really fast and sound like a complete idiot. I think I have so much potential but it doesn't show because of SA. Because of SA I have very few friends. I can't make new friends and I can't keep the ones I had because I won't call them. Because of SA I had only one or two friends all through high school and was really lonely on the weekends. I spent many lunches alone and never participated in after school activities, which affected my college applications and I didn't get the scholarships that I wanted. It also keeps me from visiting my grandparents on my own. I have to wait until my parents are going over there. All my cousins visit my grandparents like all the time and then I look like I just don't care.

This sounds just like me! I dropped out of college after three months because I couldn't cope with the social demands, and I've ended up doing jobs I could do with my eyes shut just because they don't involve much social contact (cleaning and fruit picking for instance). I talk at about 90 words a minute when I get nervous, especially in interviews, and avoid calling friends because I'm scared of saying something wrong and making them dislike me. Being socially terrified really sucks ::

 

[princess_haru]

I can't work because for one i can't get out and two i haven't even got the courage to attend an interview.

I get physically sick before interviews - I actually threw up the day before one I had last week! :: The only thing that's helped me is reading books on interview techniques (I got a bunch of them out from the library) as my main problem was not knowing what to say. It's a lot better when I've planned some responses beforehand. I still get really nervous, but it helps to have an idea of what questions they'll ask and how to reply.

 

[Joolin]

I have been pretty lucky in that I have always been surrounded by very supportive and caring people who simply won't let me **** up my life. If I was truly on my own, I don't know how I would ever make it. I have always seen myself as being very introverted and more suited to solitude, but I have recently been realizing that solitude may be the worst thing for me right now. It is when I am alone that I dwell on everything wrong with me. I am anxious and awkward when I am around other people too much, but it may be for the better as I need to face my fears if I expect to get over them.

 

[newbie]

i absolutly hate going to collage because of the people, particularly 1 person and i really want to quit
however if i do that will be the end of my career and it will ruin my life and i won't be able to do what i want to do
this sucks, i wish life was fair but nooo theres always some assholes out there

 

[antipop621]

It hasn't totally ruined it, just the social aspects (which I guess makes sense).

I'm 23, never had a girlfriend, live with crippling stomach cramps whenever people are around and go out on Friday night maybe twice a year.

I'm on 40mg of Prozac for depression, and it works but it don't cure the lonliness.

 

[princess_haru]

It hasn't totally ruined it, just the social aspects (which I guess makes sense).

I'm 23, never had a girlfriend, live with crippling stomach cramps whenever people are around and go out on Friday night maybe twice a year.

I'm on 40mg of Prozac for depression, and it works but it don't cure the lonliness.

Argh yes I get stomach cramps too, it's awful! The doctor thinks I have IBS and he's probably right, but I think it's mostly caused by my anxiety. Which Prozac are you on? I'm on Cipralex because it's supposed to be good for helping with anxiety, maybe you could check with your doc whether you're on the best one for you.

 

[JA2007]

This sounds just like me! I dropped out of college after three months because I couldn't cope with the social demands, and I've ended up doing jobs I could do with my eyes shut just because they don't involve much social contact (cleaning and fruit picking for instance). I talk at about 90 words a minute when I get nervous, especially in interviews, and avoid calling friends because I'm scared of saying something wrong and making them dislike me. Being socially terrified really sucks ::

Its awesome to hear that there is another person out there like me. I certainly don't know any here. I wish all of us SPW members lived in the same city.

 

[antipop621]

Argh yes I get stomach cramps too, it's awful! The doctor thinks I have IBS and he's probably right, but I think it's mostly caused by my anxiety. Which Prozac are you on? I'm on Cipralex because it's supposed to be good for helping with anxiety, maybe you could check with your doc whether you're on the best one for you.

Its Fluoxetine. He keeps telling me that it has antianxiety properties. While I believe him (he's a GP, not a Psychiatrist), my Pharmacology textbook seems to suggest otherwise.

Maybe it works at a higher dose, but I'm completely without side-effects, and scared to go on a higher dosage.

 

[uncool]

oh yes it did... on so many levels. social, love, and most important it affected my education as in i cant get myself to go to university anymore since it's too stressful being in that kind of enviroment.

 

[princess_haru]

Its Fluoxetine. He keeps telling me that it has antianxiety properties. While I believe him (he's a GP, not a Psychiatrist), my Pharmacology textbook seems to suggest otherwise.

Maybe it works at a higher dose, but I'm completely without side-effects, and scared to go on a higher dosage.

I used to be on Fluoxetine but I switched to Cipralex because it was recommended by the doc as being better for anxiety - I've had a couple of side effects though and it actually made me more anxious for the first couple of weeks! But that went away pretty quickly and the effects are different for everyone anyway. Maybe check with your doctor, as s/he'll know way more than me about it than me, lol ;-)

There's a lot of info on the web about exercise and therapy being more effective than antidepressants, I don't know whether you've seen any of it but here's a link to an article I found:

AMHA-OR: Exercise & Psychotherapy

Not that I'm saying the pills don't work (I'm not sure to be honest, so I wouldn't recommend stopping taking them without checking with a doctor) but I know that exercise seems to boost my mood a lot more quickly.

 

[princess_haru]

Its awesome to hear that there is another person out there like me. I certainly don't know any here. I wish all of us SPW members lived in the same city.

That'd be awesome! No one would get angry if we didn't feel like going out, and there'd be no loud, partygoing, annoying people around to bug us Ahh ok, that'll never happen... but'd it'd be cool if there was an SPW meetup for anyone who felt up to it! It'd be great to be around likeminded, understanding people.

 

[Birdman]

Yo Im 19 now and had it forever but not until i was 17 did it effect me the most.
When i was 17 i got into a fight with my roomate and because of the fight i moved out and had almost no friends. while at work people would put me down for so many thing that i would do and say that i kind of shutdown and got scared of telling people stuff because of what they would say.

Before it was bad like this i would tell everyone anything that was on my mind and would not give a dam!!! i used to hold conversations for hours and had many friends.

But we all have to think optimistic and live are life to the best that we can..stop trying to be like the people that you see and be your self.. I usually compare myself to other people which is a problem for me....its not something we can change and it will probally be with us forever and i know its easier said than done. but we just have to do it and thats the key...telling people exactly what you think in your own way that makes you.....you..


If for 1 week u said whatever you wanted to say and did what you wanted to do without limits and barriers and your fear of SA. You will not "die" or get struck by lightning what do you have to loose. you will see things will work out better for you. And "If nothing changes then nothing changes" that includes you!

Thanks for reading this post

 

[laurence7]

I still force myself to go out, although im going out less and less lately.
I still force myself to play DJ sets.
I guess SA doesn't completely stop me doing EVERYTHING, (although it does stop me doing a lot of things) it makes me feel awkward and anxious while doing EVERYTHING. So luckily it hasn't ****ed up my whole life (although it has ****ed up quite a few areas, badly).

 

[Felgen]

It has indeed fucked up certain aspects of my life (most of the stuff which requires social interaction).