Guys who cry?

[FriendlyShadow]

How come guys crying is highly unacceptable for society to handle. Yeah, I know that it's rarely seen of guys crying (In fact, I have yet to see a guy crying in front of me) What I also get confused is that guys are allowed to cry when a death occurs in the family , emotional movie, but when he gets hurt or cries easily, others see that as being a wuss. What is a wuss? Why do those terms wuss, pussy, cry baby, have to define him as that way. It's obvious that it is emotional pain, not because he is a baby. I don't like people who say that, some people can just have a tend to cry more and can't help it. Or, unless others are just being insensitive to care for the other. And, also, when most women say that they feel like they are the man or they feel like the the guy is being a wuss just because he likes poetry and because he HAS feelings. I wish there were more guys out there that are sympathetic and caring, hell, I'd kill to have the girl's boyfriends. Literally, I saw a post on a website that said her boyfreind cries all the time about bad things like breaking up, or he misses her, or if they are in a long distance relationship. She says he also writes poetry but states that as non masculine. WTF? What did you want then. The usual, typical macho guy to not give a damn of your feelings and be an emotionless robot. Also, there was another one that said My boyfriend is exactly the same way and it bugs me too. My father never cried, even when he was in agony from the cancer that killed him, but my boyfriend starts tearing up during Hallmark commercials. Last week he had a bad headache so he went and got an MRI which showed nothing and cost $800 out of pocket. The doctor then said he probably has a sinus infection. This week I was getting over a cold but I decided not to see him because if he caught it he'd probably check himself into a sanitarium and put himself on the list for a lung transplant. He also gets the crazy depressions, and sometimes we'll be hanging out, just fine, and he'll start crying talking about what a horrible selfish human being he is and how he doesn't deserve to be with anyone and he's a failure. Boo hoo poor me. It is exhausting at times. And he writes poetry too. He makes me read it and it's really bad.

I love him anyway, but like you, I have days when I'm not quite sure how much more I can put up with it. Last week besides the MRI he decided he has PTSD and then informed me that he's quitting smoking so he's going to be really emotional. I'm reading these texts thinking, "Um, more emotional than usual?" 'cause honestly, I'd rather if he smoked.

She'd be lucky if he hasn't yet caught the post she wrote about him. I bet she isn't ashamed of herself to have written those unthoughtful statements she made. I'd be devestated to live if someone wrote that about me. And what questions me is that they still live together and she loves him, but this girl is not only damn insensitive and coming off as a jerk at that, but she was even foolish and stupid to post that about her poor boyfriend. I wouldn't blame him if broke up with her. No wonder the poor thing must be so miserable. What a shame. I don't know. Agian, girls can like what they want in guys (whatever it could be) but I think they should really pay attention to how they think about their situations a bit more and understand that these aren't the everyday guys they are likely to see. Just wanted to vent out some thoughts here, but maybe I am the only one who feels like this.

 

[MotherWolff]

I have to agree with every word you said, lions. I believe that every one, man, woman, girl, boy, has the absolute human right to cry.

It is a natural reaction to the emotion known as sadness. One of my brother-in-laws is very hard on one of my younger nephew because he does cry often when things don't go his way(he is 11 now). He calls this poor kid all types of faggots, bitches, and wimps. His mom(my sister) usually yells back at the man and tells him not to call her son any names. My brother-in-law will argue back saying that he is trying to make a man out of my nephew. Even my nephew's older brother calls him faggot and gay just for crying.

So yeah, I see where you're coming from lions. Have you also heard how fathers really really beat their sons up badly compared to their daughters in some cases? Unfortunately I had to witness such a thing as a child and it still haunts me to this day. My father said he did that to toughen up my brother, when he really tore him up both physically and mentally(my brother has scars on his body still from childhood and he is 27 and he has some major anger management issues). I wish the majority could really see that its ok for a man to cry too!

 

[Sial Axetder]

In a nut shell, men are not allowed to cry. Men are 'supposed' to be brought up tough. It's how the social roles go.

I do agree, men should be able to release their emotions freely.

Maybe a good article, not too scientific... Why Is It So Hard for Men to Cry? | World of Psychology

 

[SilentBird]

I am a guy who cries but only around certain people.

 

[doctor_who]

I think guys feel like they need to fit the stereotype of being a "MAN" and crying is seen as femine by society we live in. I agree as if a guy cries they all called all names under the sun, they are taught from an early age not to cry and its not ok to cry. The men in my life I have never seen cry, they always appear so strong like nothing can affect them. I don't think I could handle a guy who cries because I am a cryer myself and think it would be a bad relationship tthe both of crying all the time.

 

[Kiwong]

I think it takes courage as a man to cry openly, it is a sign of vulnerability, not weakness. I think it is fine to cry and the right people will see a beauty and honesty in that emotion. The right people will want to know why you are crying and feel sympathy. As a human being that is my response to crying. You are crying what is wrong can I help? And that is how some people have responded to my pain and tears.

 

[bcsr]

Key & Peele: Manly Tears - YouTube

 

[AGR]

Everybody cries,some more than others,they hide it because men have to be or have to appear to be strong and confident.

 

[corranhorn]

Im as strong and confident as any other male of our species and I fit all the stereotypes of being a "man". But I also cry. In the military, I lost a very close friend to an IED, and I tear up all the time. I cry when I see my kids achieving a milestone. I used to work in law enforcement as well, and I'd cry every time I saw an innocent person hurting. When I say cry, I mean tear up, or maybe have a tear run down my cheek. I don't lose my composure. I don't cry at romantic comedies or poetry. I don't cry because Im having a bad day. If I hear of someone dying in the line of duty, or the sound of Amazing Grace on bagpipes, I may cry. If I see someone crying in remembrance of a loved one lost in war, or in an accident or tragedy or illness, I will cry with them. I will cry in private or in front of anyone. Anyone that thinks this is not socially acceptable is wrong. I hate to disappoint all the manly men out there, but some of the toughest SOB's in the military cry like babies. Guys who were shot, blown up, run over, were witness to death over and over, saw wives leave them from thousands of miles taking their kids and home... very tough, the toughest, manliest men you will ever find.. and yes, they cried every day. If an anti crying manly man had interrupted us at lunch or wherever while we were sharing a cry over memories of people, and that person told us to man up, the result wouldn't have been good for that individual. Men may cry and still fill all the roles of the "traditional" Western man, whatever that means.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Yeah, I agree with most of you. I'm just tired of this unfairness spreading with a man's emotions. Society brainwashes too many people, and the families that a man has to always move through the harshest moments of life. Jeez, maybe people expect way too much than they should. Also, if a girl like the two i've mentioned hate the sympathetic feeling, why don't they find someone else so that the guys can leave for a better life? Ah, sometimes people confuse me.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

That's horrible! Boys should never be abused with such physical abuse treatment like that. Those fathers deserve to be in jail, or be charged with child abuse. It is no wonder, no wonder some men feel depressed than how others in their gender are. Such a stupid society that leads this world. There is no excuse to hit a child because he needs to toughen up. What the child needs is love and respect, why do most families fail to do that? I hate bad people always getting away with **** like that. Those kinds of people should be locked in prison and be taught a lesson.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Hey don't take this the wrong way, but I think it'd be pretty hard for some men to limit their emotions. Of course, I know most people's expectations are for men to cry over something related to an important problem. But I have to dissent on this. I can hardly believe men can hold up all that emotion inside them without being able to burst. It just doesn't seem quite to healthy to me anyways. But that's just my opinion, and I can respect yours too.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Lol I got really confused reading your post because I didn't get that you were quoting someone else...

I'm sure this is nothing new: many years ago, back in the caves, women were meant to take care of the kids, while men were meant to be strong and hunt the dinner and protect the group. This is where it all comes from.

I'm not saying it's ok to considere guys who cry a lot as being weak, I mean that sometimes you can't fight nature. Even if we say it's ok for guys to cry, there is hundreds of thousands of years of history in women's genes that want them to choose a guy who can protect the group and bring back food in the cave.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I also believe that if people if one is going to be insensitive and selfish of the other's feelings(either gender) than at least seek them some help or be a bit encouraging to help them any way they can. I hate when people just stand there and think Why the hell am I going to be with a guy who acts like a total puss. Why can't he just man up for god's sakes? How about stop questioning, but rather understand how you are acting in the situation. People who are unsupportive make the problems worse, I feel that it's better if they wouldn't be so hurtful towards when they say things like that, especially behind the other's backs.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Hmmm, rather this is just a taste of personal honest opinions from people. Maybe I see things in a different light. I don't know. I guess I'm not like most women to be reckless around the other opposite sex's emotions. As weird as I am, I know I would never mind a guy crying, no matter what it could be. People can disagree with me, but this is just how i see things.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

yeah, ahaha, I didn't want you to think I'd write something as terrible as that. But really, I find it a pity and a lack of common sense that someone would be so stupid to post that behind her spouse's back if he isn't going to find out one day. She should be ashamed of herself honestly and at least understand that her boyfriend is having a tough time dealing with his life. How anyone could be insensitive as she is saying things among "Boo hoo poor me, it's exaughsting." "He makes me read his poetry and it's really bad" "I'd rather he smoked" Damn, cruel much? She is too blind to see the hurt causing from her boyfriend. He deserves a lot better than that and find a more nicer girlfriend to actually cares for him someday, in my opinion.

 

[MikeyC]

Some women like their men to be the "rock," as it were.

It's socially unacceptable for men to cry, and I have a tough time doing it myself. I have a few times, though, and it's a very unusual release of emotion for me.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

And I don't doubt that women do like different taste in men. It;s just when they expect much from the lover they are with. They chose them, they are stuck with them. That's what they'll get. The better idea would be to support and maybe get some therapy if these women haven't thought of "manning" up their guys. But otherwise, I just find it selfish that you can make fun of a man crying when probably most women don't have to take that kind of stuff because of social roles. Pity for these generations.:thumbdown:

 

[MikeyC]

And I don't doubt that women do like different taste in men. It;s just when they expect much from the lover they are with. They chose them, they are stuck with them. That's what they'll get. The better idea would be to support and maybe get some therapy if these women haven't thought of "manning" up their guys.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by this.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I'm saying in a relationship, once you are in it, that's what you are left with. You can't expect everything to be perfect and think your boyfriend
should man up when he's in the slightest pain, and then say he's a wuss and such. How selfish. Is it too much to ask for a bit of sympathy, a bit of love, a bit of signs to show you care. And that was truly backstabbing from that girl who said those things about her boyfriend. And what I said about women like different ideals in men, that is fine, but you're in are relationship where someone is sensitive and you're not, you don't just think "Well he's being a wuss and I don't understand why he's being this way because he should be the man" Of course, i know that this is how social roles go unfortunately with our ****ty society now. But why would someone be as heartless as to say the most vilest cruel things when they should not be said, and at least help their boyfriends with their issues. I would never think lowly of my boyfriend if he was emotional nor would I post such a hurtful post on a website stating he is a baby. That's not right at all. In fact, complaining and in a way mocking your boyfriend is the incorrect and childish solution to solve his problems and quite likely the girls. And quite foolish advice they give saying Oh he is too sensitive or you should give him a weird look when he cries and tell him he's being silly. That's bull. These girls need professional advice on how to handle their situations, like those theraputic websites where they can ask how they can manage the situation better. But in most cases, they'd rather let it go and to think it's unbelievable for a man to shed some tears. I'm sorry if you were confused there Mikey. I know men are different and have distinct personalities, but girls and women can't expect every man in their relationship to be as strong and composed than most men who are. maybe I feel like this, I don't know. I know some disagree, but again, I hate these roles judge humans. *sigh*