Guys who cry?

Hoju

Hoju

Member
Very interesting topic. As a guy who's always been "over-sensitive" and emotional from a young age, it's somewhat heartening to read that not everyone finds them to be unappealing qualities. I just wish I knew people IRL that felt that way!

It's disturbing to read about how some people react to that sensitivity in men though (as though it's a bad thing), as if their name-calling etc. will help to toughen them up. I don't think I'll ever understand why people can't be more tolerant and accepting of others who are different...
 
FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
Yes I know that, but I think likewise that most men can go on without clinging on to society's expectations, I doubt it would happen anyways.
 
FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
You know what, screw those people who think you are weird for calling a man beautiful. I see nothing with wrong with that. It's a very nice compliment, quite unheard of for it to be place on a man, but I think it' just the same as any other form of compliment, not because beauty is supposed to be feminime. It's a sad thought there are really few rare guys out there that really do have an emotions packed up. I'm thinking inside my head when the "callous" girls are in a relationship, but they have no idea how fortunate they are. I question why some of the most meanest, insensitive girls easily have these kind of boyfriends. Damn opposites attract thing!:kickingmyself: I'd be glad to take their boyfriends.
 
MotherWolff

MotherWolff

Banned
I love lions said:
That's horrible! Boys should never be abused with such physical abuse treatment like that. Those fathers deserve to be in jail, or be charged with child abuse. It is no wonder, no wonder some men feel depressed than how others in their gender are. Such a stupid society that leads this world. There is no excuse to hit a child because he needs to toughen up. What the child needs is love and respect, why do most families fail to do that? I hate bad people always getting away with **** like that. Those kinds of people should be locked in prison and be taught a lesson.
Click to expand...

I don't think those fathers are necessarily all bad people. And I'm not saying this to protect my father either. What I believe is that fathers in this generation are not educated well on how to discipline their children in a more appropriate manner. Its a shame really.....:thumbdown:
 
FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
What I don't understand is how being over sensitive is even a bad thing. I hate judgmental people for just the sake of being judging towards other people. There is no limited, certain period of time that should tell you when to cry or when not to. What rule on a list says that guys should be incapable of showing any sign of tears welling. People are just stupid. Thinking that name calling and being violent would help to "toughen" up the guy's behavior. Only people who would call a guy a wuss are the ones who need a more broadened prospect of his emotions. I can't believe how some people really are, to savage others who are in grief and sorrow. I am ashamed of this ignorance of humanity. Such a pity.
 
A

AllAroundMyHat

New member
Being able or free to ignore what society thinks would be fine. But society is constructed so that you cant. There are all sorts of cruel social punishments that get meeted out if you try. This seems to be hardwired into peoples brains. We are social animals and social survival and survival are strongly linked in the wild. Thats why i get upset when people say "be yourself". If I want to be myself, I first have to lock myself in my flat, otherwise it is impossible.

If you cry or complain, an automatic judgement goes on in the other peoples minds as to whether that is deemed to be valid, according to certain norms or criteria, and if it is found to be "invalid", sympathy is withheld as punishment. It is sad. Even "loved ones" do this. The fact that the person is in real pain is not enough.

If a man cries, as long as its in a certain context, that may be OK, but if it is because you identified strongly with a character from a book or something upset you that would not have upset anybody else, then you are likely to get shame and scorn heaped upon you. Such shame and scorn is not easily shrugged off- it is designed not to be, whatever people say about it being just words, it is actually part of the strong social glue that binds us.

Maybe after a few more million years we might get over this.
 
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Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I cry privately, my tears have helped me. No one that matters think less of me because of it.
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

Well-known member
I'm the same as Kiwong. I cry in private, and it's only on occasion nowadays.

I think crying can be very dangerous. The times I've cried to the full amount of sobbing, I felt like killing myself. This giant wave of depression hits my body and I feel like dying when I sob.

I try to avoid it by just focusing on life and whatever I'm doing.

On the flip side, I have felt relief after crying, like I'm getting out the pain that has come from being shy and not having any friends and never having a girlfriend.

It's the not being accepted by society that hurts the most, not fitting in and never connecting with a best friend. Now that hurts, kills my soul.

I really don't know how I manage to keep a positive attitude for as much as I do. I guess hope is still there. I think I heard somewhere that it's natural for us to hope, maybe that's why I do it.
 
Subpop

Subpop

Well-known member
I see men cry occasionally when away at work. No-one thinks any less of them. Anyone who does make a derogatory remark is usually quickly reminded to keep it real or called an idiot.

In my opinion, anyone who suggests crying is a sign of weakness or inability to cope with the real world is in some form of denial.
 
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sai

sai

Well-known member
i cry almost every alternative day... when all my lonely childhood days hits my thought just before sleep... i just can f**king sleep.... the i shout out loud...."WHY THE HELL I CANT SLEEP...WHY WHY..." :)
 
S

ShadowCookie

Active member
I cry all the time, but only when I am alone. I hate crying in front of people as I do not want to appear like I am seeking attention. The littlest things usually set me off though, so it isn't like I am faced with terrible situations on a daily basis. I just get upset and angry very easily, and when I get extremely angry or frustrated, rather than throwing things or breaking things, I'll just cry - it's my natural response when I cannot vent my anger in other ways, and crying feels good and releases stress. I always feel better after crying.
 
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Odo

Odo

Banned
I think it depends what I'm crying about. If I'm crying for myself I feel weak and pathetic, but if I'm crying for some other reason like if someone died or something, then I don't feel quite as bad.
 
MotherWolff

MotherWolff

Banned
^^^^^That's very unhealthy,mariospap. You must find better ways to cope with your anger. Your response to anger strongly reminds me of one of my older nephews.
 
M

mariospap

Member
I probably should. I am usually very calm person. Everyone says that. But when I will get mad, it's like a quick passing thunder during a sunny day.
 
FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
This is understandable. My parents can't accept that I am more emotionally sensitive than them. Probably because they believe that emotions result as babyish or being laughed at by others. I try to cry privately in my room every chance I get so they won't have to deal with my crying, which is pretty upsetting also. I just find it a lack of care and feeling for someone who is hurt so bad and you can't even offer some compassion or lend your heart to them :sad:
 
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