First date advice

[InvisaLady]

Okay guys I need some advice.
I met a nice guy on OKC and am in the process of arranging a casual meet up.
Now we are both shy, so I am a bit worried about making a good first impression and not coming off as boring or too quiet. So any advice for helping things to go smoothly would be greatly appreciated.

 

[shakethelight]

Do you know what you'll be doing? I wouldn't do anything that involves a lot of talking at first. Bowling maybe? That's usually fun.

I find some guys think shy girls are adorable. But most importanly Be yourself- I know, everyone says that but you want him to like the real you not mask you put on.

I also think dress in something that YOU feel confindent in, not something you think he would want to see you wearing. If you are umcomfortable, it will show. I probably look in the mirror a dozen times and telling yourself "I look great!" it does help.

If he already knows youre shy, I don't think he's going to be expecting some super outgoing girl And he probably empathizes with you. I dont know how long you guys have been talking for so I can't really give you advice on some topics to ask but humor usually helps whenever I met a guy for the first time. I try to lighten up the mood about how "talkative I am" or explain it takes me a while to feel comfortable.

Hope I helped somewhat. And I hope it works out!!

 

[Section_31]

try your best to stay calm.

Shy girls ARE totally cute.

and like STL said, wear somthing YOU feel comfortable in, thats part of "just be yourself". Assume he's doing the same. Try not to think of it as a date per se, but more like your meeting up with a friend. Starting yourself at that level mentally and slowly moving towards somthing more can be easier on you.

now, at the risk of giving frustrating advice, try not to think too much. Just roll with things . follow your gut.

 

[MikeyC]

Two good pieces of advice already. I totally condone not doing something that involves too much conversing, because then it can get draining for the both of you if you're both shy. Maybe go to the movies or something.

Good on you for meeting a guy. I hope it all works out.

 

[Silatuyok]

Ask a lot of questions. About him, I mean.

 

[InvisaLady]

I'm guessing at this point it will probably be just drinks or lunch.
That is one of the things I am most worried about, running out of things to ask him or stuff to talk about!
I really don't want to default into the old health discussion.::

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I'm guessing at this point it will probably be just drinks or lunch.
That is one of the things I am most worried about, running out of things to ask him or stuff to talk about!
I really don't want to default into the old health discussion.::

How about a museum? You probably could find lots to talk about there.

 

[Facethefear]

I wouldn't go where it is crowded or noisy - maybe a zoo. Walking and talking is good ...side by side is better than sitting across from each other - that might be tense.
Wear comfortable shoes. Don't worry about being boring - the guy is probably wondering the same thing, so be interested in what he says. I hope it is the start of, at least, a friendship.

 

[MarionBerry]

I read somewhere once, one way to get the sparks to fly is to do something stimulating. Meaning something that gets the blood pumping a little bit: bowling, a walk around the park stopping to swing on the swings, skydiving....A mutually shared "exciting" experience seems to bond people more than a not exciting experience. Drinks or lunch is a nice easy start, but try to pair it with a walk or something afterward so you can have a shared experience. Plus it gives you more to talk about.

Though quite honestly, I am a big fan of the bowling first date. You get to see how competitive they are, how courteous they are to other bowlers, you can easily make small talk, and to see if they are a poor loser or winner....

 

[InvisaLady]

Okay, we have agreed on a casual meeting for coffee. Now I am getting nervous.

 

[MikeyC]

If he's as shy as you, I believe he will be as nervous as you. Good luck, InvisaLady. I hope it all works out great.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

Be yourself and make sure you smile. (What do I know?)

 

[InvisaLady]

Well, I did it. We went out for coffee this afternoon. I got there and the place we had agreed to was closed. So we had to walk across the street to the mall.
I think we were both a bit nervous . But overall I think things went pretty well We had a few awkward moments but nothing too bad. I did my best to smile and keep eye contact, Not sure if that worked. When we left , he said that if I ever wanted to go out and do something again to let him know. I am thinking this is a good sign.

 

[MikeyC]

That is a wonderful sign. It shows he actually enjoyed the encounter and he wants to take it to a second date. Well done!

 

[Amitush123]

I don't know if it was mentioned, but make sure that there will be no akward silences! think about "emergency" topics before the date and use them if you find that you are running out of things to discuss