I also have this feeling that people's opinions on me are negative. That they find me pathetic, dumb and hate me. It's easy to enlarge things you say/do that you might think be a trigger point for their hatred against you. It's not easy to shake of this feeling, if ever, since you might think they're lying to your face about their perception on you.
Feeling that everyone secretly hates me
- Thread starter Bustn Justin
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Bustn Justin
Well-known member
Thanks for the replies.
As for me having low self worth, I learned at a young age that nobody liked me and then started to not like myself. Then the rest goes on from there.
Yeah maybe time for me to talk to someone about how I feel and get better.
As for me having low self worth, I learned at a young age that nobody liked me and then started to not like myself. Then the rest goes on from there.
Yeah maybe time for me to talk to someone about how I feel and get better.
Well it would be boring if you knew all about the person just by looking at them
There's a bit of fun and interest to be found in getting to know someone.
psych
Well-known member
I remember sitting on my Aspergers friends porch, listening to the banter from all around the neighborhood...I had just been kicked out of my Aunt's house by her psychotic ex...
I remember saying to him... Listen to that! *noises from the neighborhood* Why do I feel hostility all around me?! Is that normal?! Does everyone feel this way?! They couldn't, or they wouldn't flock to shopping malls....
Why do I feel hostility the very second I step out the door?! It makes me want to crawl back inside the house, the din of humanity is threatening to me...
He told me it was my experience, he told me he feels it to, but to a lessor degree, partly simply from not caring...
He then told me that maybe I should take the medication my doctor prescribed, if only because I'd become so intolerant, that it didn't allow me to live anymore.
He agrees with me that almost everyone has an agenda. But, that outcomes are all that really matter...
Fast forward to today, after I had discovered that the meds I was given weren't going to work out for me. I found something else, another concoction that did...
I am grateful I took his advice. Not because taking stuff ripped away all the horrible things people have done to me...
But because, to some degree, it has allowed me to live... Even if only to some degree. I'll take it.
I remember saying to him... Listen to that! *noises from the neighborhood* Why do I feel hostility all around me?! Is that normal?! Does everyone feel this way?! They couldn't, or they wouldn't flock to shopping malls....
Why do I feel hostility the very second I step out the door?! It makes me want to crawl back inside the house, the din of humanity is threatening to me...
He told me it was my experience, he told me he feels it to, but to a lessor degree, partly simply from not caring...
He then told me that maybe I should take the medication my doctor prescribed, if only because I'd become so intolerant, that it didn't allow me to live anymore.
He agrees with me that almost everyone has an agenda. But, that outcomes are all that really matter...
Fast forward to today, after I had discovered that the meds I was given weren't going to work out for me. I found something else, another concoction that did...
I am grateful I took his advice. Not because taking stuff ripped away all the horrible things people have done to me...
But because, to some degree, it has allowed me to live... Even if only to some degree. I'll take it.
MrSunday
Well-known member
I like you. *Hugs*
KiaKaha
Banned
Yes I feel that people are reasonably pleasant toward me - but deep down they dont really want me around. Sometimes I think people only say that they do, or do just enough to give me the illusion and belief that I am someone who they want to know.... but really their actions speak louder than words - and I know that I am simply someone that they would rather not be around.
I am not sure if people hate me exactly - I just think that they people dont really like me, or would prefer that I simply wasnt around....most of all though, I feel that people dont care about me.
I am not sure if people hate me exactly - I just think that they people dont really like me, or would prefer that I simply wasnt around....most of all though, I feel that people dont care about me.
Well it would be boring if you knew all about the person just by looking at them
Oh no, I think I didn't explain myself clearly. I understand that I have to get to know others through conversation and through having experiences with them to see how they behave in the face of those experiences. The getting-to-know process is really enjoyable. What I'm talking about is being able to read another person objectively. Like their facial expressions, their body language...without having your own self-image getting in the way.
Example:
Someone smiles at a little joke I've told. If I have a positive self-image, I will assume they enjoyed my joke, therefore I'm good at telling them and have a decent sense of humor.
If I have a negative self-image, I will assume they're smiling because they feel sorry for me, or want to alleviate any awkwardness. Therefore, I'm terrible at telling jokes and my sense of humor suffers.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
How well do these people really know you? What I mean is, how much of yourself do you reveal to them, and how much do you invest in any relationship with them?
I get the same "everyone dislikes/hates me" paranoia quite a lot myself. I tried to analyse why I felt that way, and why people might feel that way about me, using people I work with as a test sample. When I looked at my own behaviour I realised that I was only allowing myself to interact with them on a very superficial level. Few people I work with know anything about my life outside of work, because I don't share that information with them, and neither do I socialise with them outside of work. The result is that the level at which they care about me reflects the level of effort that I put into any sort of relationship with them.
This might seem like an obvious conclusion for most people, but for a long time I think I've had the expectation that people will either like me or hate me based on some instant assessment they make on first meeting me.
MikeyC
Well-known member
I don't know. Ignorance is bliss.
KiaKaha
Banned
Vampayah88
Well-known member
True story.
Steppen-Wolf
Well-known member
That's just classic low self esteem.
Worst case scenario most people you know simply don't have a strong opinion towards you. Maybe they don't see you as interesting or admirable, but hating you?, unless you've done some very specific things to cause animosity then most likely it's all in your mind.
Worst case scenario most people you know simply don't have a strong opinion towards you. Maybe they don't see you as interesting or admirable, but hating you?, unless you've done some very specific things to cause animosity then most likely it's all in your mind.
RaphielDrake
Member
Would the law still be inplace to prevent me going on a Kill Bill style murdering spree?
Because if it wasn't then yes, that would be easier.
"I hate y- hey, where did my arm g- now my other arms gone! Are you seeing this? Oh... maybe we could talk this ou-"
Ohhhh I see now. My bad lol. I suppose reading people comes from experience and you're right that it does depend on how you feel about yourself. But it's just telling a joke. It's only something trivial that isn't as important as treating others the way you want to be treated, for example. Even if people didn't find the joke funny, they won't hold you against it and remember you forever as 'the bad joker' or whatever. It'll be out of their minds in 2 ticks. But if they did like it, hurray! You made someone laugh. Basically I'm saying that you can't 'lose' in situations like that
Bustn Justin
Well-known member
At least I know they are honest and don't and don't have to do much with them.
The last years I have been feeling exactly like this, and I know this isn't true they don't hate me, but it feels to real sometimes, then you realize it was all in your head.
Deiradella
Member
Same here.
I've had that little voice in the back of my head berating me for my appearance, klutziness, or how different I am from everyone around here as long as I can remember. For a long time, "she" kept me from talking with people. I was painfully quiet for many years, so much so, my boss and coworkers would often forget I was there at my first job. I missed several lunch breaks as a result because we all had to take turns, and they'd forget me until it was too late.
Any time I do try to talk to someone, sometimes even my husband, the look in their eyes and body language seems to scream that they would rather be anywhere else but stuck talking to me. If not that, I read it as them thinking I'm either nuts or just plain stupid or weird.
It's only gotten worse since I became a WAHM. My old methods of locking my mental Mommy Dearest away don't mesh so well with having small children, so those old feelings are coming back, louder than ever. And I'm so starved for adult interaction most of the time, my mouth just keeps running despite the feeling they just want to get away from me. I feel like that person people would be willing to gnaw their own leg off to escape.
There's no way to keep up her cell walls any more given the fact quiet time to meditate is a thing of the past. I've tried working hard enough to block out all else. All that did was exhaust me right into a massive cold time and time again. I need to find some way to evict "Mommy Dearest" from my head for good before she drives me completely barmy.
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