Feeling that everyone secretly hates me

[Bustn Justin]

When I interact wth people, they seem friendly, however I feel that they really hate me.

In the past I was an outcast in school and alot of the friends I have would be nice to me then use me or screw me over.

Now when I am around people I feel that they are not around me they will think I am a horrble person and only will only be around me becuase they feel forced too.

I also admit that I hate myself and don't deserve any happiness. The reason is that I fail at everything I do and too different to be aroundother guys or around women.

 

[Srijita52]

I'm sorry, I don't think they hate you though. There're some selfish people out there who just want to use others for their own benifit but not everyone's like that. I know its very hard to stop such negative thoughts. I hope things get better for you.

 

[Bustn Justin]

I'm sorry, I don't think they hate you though. There're some selfish people out there who just want to use others for their own benifit but not everyone's like that. I know its very hard to stop such negative thoughts. I hope things get better for you.

Thanks.

Guess I should see a therapist to help me sort this all out. Feels like alot for him to deal with.

 

[Srijita52]

Thanks.

Guess I should see a therapist to help me sort this all out. Feels like alot for him to deal with.

I hope seeing a therapist helps. It does help some people.

 

[MikeyC]

I also admit that I hate myself and don't deserve any happiness.

You may have answered your own question here. If you feel you don't deserve happiness and you feel like you hate yourself, then that's what you're going to interpret from others, even if that's wildly untrue.

I admit to having these feelings, too (not to your extent, though), but it's just a matter of getting through them. I know my friend likes me because he wouldn't choose to hang out with me otherwise, and that's something I have to keep in my head.

 

[Kiwong]

Most people are neutral.

Some people really do dislike me, but then they are mostly wallruses don't need to know about.

And even iceholes aren't blackholes all the time. Mostly it is just misunderstanding.

And a few people actually like me, and that can't be bad.

 

[MrJones]

I feel the same way, and I've been proven it's true several times. Not always, though.

 

[Ashiene]

People hate me because I hate them because they hated me in the first place.

 

[Kiwong]

I think anger and hostility are wasted emotions, I move on long before it becomes a problem for me.

 

[MikeyC]

I think anger and hostility are wasted emotions, I move on long before it becomes a problem for me.

That's true, but sometimes it's good to get anger out. I have always suppressed anger and I feel I can't express it properly now.

 

[Kiwong]

That's true, but sometimes it's good to get anger out. I have always suppressed anger and I feel I can't express it properly now.

That's true, I might write about things on my blog, but then delete them when I have moved on. Holding onto resentment and biting back can often just escalate things and you lose that way.

 

[MikeyC]

That's true, I might write about things on my blog, but then delete them when I have moved on. Holding onto resentment and biting back can often just escalate things and you lose that way.

Even writing it on your blog and deleting it is still getting it out. You're dealing with it in your own way. It's a good thing.

 

[Minty]

My mom is nice to me in person, but complains about me and points out all of my faults one by one to my siblings. She does the same thing with each of my siblings, even my dad.

Growing up with that, I feel like everyone is two-faced.

 

[dragonoth]

Your self-image is distorted, caused by your self-hatred, and therefore you project that onto everyone else's view of you. As difficult as it is, you have to change the way you view yourself. Give yourself the respect you deserve. Even if you don't have some noble or high-end cause for doing it, give yourself respect simply because you can.

 

[Minty]

Your self-image is distorted, caused by your self-hatred, and therefore you project that onto everyone else's view of you. As difficult as it is, you have to change the way you view yourself. Give yourself the respect you deserve. Even if you don't have some noble or high-end cause for doing it, give yourself respect simply because you can.

I believe this too.

I've always wondered though...can you see interpret another person objectively, without projecting onto them? If you change your thought patterns and start seeing yourself in a positive light, won't you project that positivity onto other people, to the point that you think everyone likes you, when in reality many do not?

 

[Lea]

I definitely feel this way.. if not "hate", then not like me. It is so natural for me to feel this way, that I don´t understand some people might have it differently. I always assume the worst by default. After all most often I am right, also based on my experiences.

 

[dragonoth]

I believe this too.

I've always wondered though...can you see interpret another person objectively, without projecting onto them? If you change your thought patterns and start seeing yourself in a positive light, won't you project that positivity onto other people, to the point that you think everyone likes you, when in reality many do not?

Other people's opinions do not matter nearly as much as your own. They may influence your opinion but at the end of the day you are in charge of if you let it affect you or not. A good quote to summarise this is -

"No one makes you feel inferior without your consent." (don't know by who)

When you start feeling better about yourself, it will come out onto the surface and you will definitely feel that people like you more. I've been at both ends of the spectrum - having an inferiority complex and a superiority one. Even if you have the latter, it doesn't mean you love yourself more; quite the contrary. I was forcing myself onto others (not in the sexual way) believing that they should love me, but after a while I just ended up hating myself again.
Now I'm okay with myself. I feel more at ease with myself and therefore I act more naturally to others. In return, they seem to like me more than before. Learning to really respect yourself is a huge reward.
Don't worry about being too positive. If you do it properly, you won't even have to think about it.

 

[Fade To Black]

When I interact wth people, they seem friendly, however I feel that they really hate me.

In the past I was an outcast in school and alot of the friends I have would be nice to me then use me or screw me over.

Now when I am around people I feel that they are not around me they will think I am a horrble person and only will only be around me becuase they feel forced too.

I also admit that I hate myself and don't deserve any happiness. The reason is that I fail at everything I do and too different to be aroundother guys or around women.

It is possible you are now suffering from paranoia as a result of your experiences in the past at school. You have conditioned yourself to see all people as similar to how your "friends" acted while you were growing up.

Your major problem is a lack of self-esteem and and lack of self-worth. You see yourself as unworthy of friendship from others and feel like you don't deserve happiness. I imagine when you make a mistake you are very hard on yourself and use this to feed the negativity within you so that you feel even worse.

I find it hard to believe you fail at everything you do, there are probably many things you are good at but do not give yourself credit for. One of them is being courageous - it takes courage to come onto an internet forum to reveal personal problems you are facing, knowing that your issues are open to critique from strangers.

My advice to you is this: stop being so critical of yourself and placing unrealistic demands and expectations on how you "should" act or do things. Learn to appreciate the beautiful things in life and try to discover what your passion is and what activities make you happy.

Nobody hates you. Step out of the prison you have created for yourself and start to live your life in a way that makes you happy.

 

[Minty]

"No one makes you feel inferior without your consent." (don't know by who)

I like that quote.

Sooo...I guess, you can't see other people objectively. Somehow that would seem like the most healthy thing, but you're tied down to your own perspective.

I've always wondered about it because there's this sense of loneliness in knowing that you can't see a person purely for who they are and they can't see you. We're all talking to mirrors.

 

[Srijita52]

That's true, but sometimes it's good to get anger out. I have always suppressed anger and I feel I can't express it properly now.

Same with me.