Existential thoughts

[LanaS]

Hello people , sorry for my bad English


I will not talk too much about details about what bothers me ,because I know how can be scary.Last few days I was thinking too much about universe,stars,about why we are here,and how we are so small compared to big and infinite universe etc ,about God and how he looks like? It's so terryfing that I can not explain. I freak out when I think about it. When I didn't have anxiety, I never feared these questions.

Those question happened after I googled to much about God and religion,and my friend who is believer told me not to use my imagination too much.

Of course I can not image it, but the problem is as someone force me to think about that question again and again,and it's so scary,because I'm trying to imagine how God looks or universe but then I freak out, and I think I'm going crazy. I feel anxious,warm waves trough my body,and terrible fear.

I wanted to ask am I the only one surviving this ? The thoughts are much more stronger in the morning and evening,and I freak out when I think about reality etc. I lost wish to spent time with people because of that anxious feeling and fear.Funny thing that only when I'm anxious I fear,when I'm relaxed I enjoy in random things and talking to people.

I want to hear from people who have similar experiences how do you cope with this?

I also want to ask if anyone who experienced this ever visited psychiatrist or psychotherapist and what did they tell you about that? Can these obsessive thoughts make people go insane? lol

Feel free to share your experience with this,it's nice when we support eachother,and knowing we are not alone in this
I'm right now feeling good,and not fear of nothing,I just wanted to disscus about this more,so we can better understand.

Thank you so much.

 

[Flanscho]

Well, I'm an Atheist, so questions like "what does god look like" make no sense to me.

About what the universe looks like: just recently a map of the universe known to us was published. Here is a video about that: click me.

The only thing that I experienced that is somewhat related to what you describe is the knowledge (for me) that my existence is limited. That no matter what happens, what I do, I will die, and then cease to exist, forever. That thought is scary. But the older I get, the less scary it becomes.

 

[Steelsoul]

But why are you scared? Does the universe or how God looks like have something to scare you? If you can find the reason, i'm sure you can overcome this fear. If it has no reason, you should go to the psychotherapist

Sometimes i wonder why do i exist, too. Compared to the huge universe, people are so small. But they have done a lot to prove their existance, and i've done nothing. That makes me depressed

 

[springk]

I do think of what is the reason of my existence . But you are saying you get scared because of it. Can you define what scares you?

 

[Froggy246]

I went mad thinking about this once. It was fuelled by drug taking most likely but one night I kept thinking about the nature of being concious, having awareness, and wondering why, and if I would always be concious and have awareness, how did I get here, to this place, why am I here etc. And basically it was like I opened a door that was not ready to be opened, I freaked out! Full on panic attack, I was inconsolable, I spent the entire night running up and down the stairs and then finally jumped into a large pond -which seemed to help a bit. But I was very delicate and unstable for weeks after, I felt I couldn't speak to anyone about it for fear it would send them mad as well.
All I can say is that I tried not to think about it if feelings of anxiety started to arise, so I would try to stop before it was too late. And over time it became an amusing story to reminisce with friends, 'hey do you remember that night I went mad?' 'Hahaha yes I didn't know what to do, I was unsure whether to phone the emergency services lol'
And anyway my mind became ready for those types of enquiries as time progressed so I'm quite comfortable and enjoy thinking at those deep levels - it no longer induces anxiety. I think it's good to explore, in your own time, in your own way, no one really knows, but such questions can lead to some pretty interesting reading, and perhaps one day you will settle on your own guess at what it's all about.

 

[LanaS]

- Steelsoul I will go to ,because I need to know am I crazy or not.


- Hey Froggy, you explained very well,I felt the same, it scares me so much that I think I will go crazy when I'm trying to imagine all that.
I'm also scare to talk with others around me about that,because I think they will start to think about it too,and they will freak too.

- Springk, it scares me when I think about all unknown outside of our planet. I simply wish I never had those disturbing thoughts in my mind. I wish I can be like before when I think about simple,random things, food,shooping,music etc... I fear that I might go crazy because I heard these existential thought can lead to psychosis or worst. But then some people said it's only anxiety.

 

[Odo]

These aren't the kinds of questions that anyone could ever possibly answer… but the terror isn't coming from what you're seeing, the terror is coming from you… which means that it's possible to control it, even though you can't control the universe/God.

So yeah, I think the way to get through these kinds of things is to focus on yourself and how you react to it and telling yourself not to be afraid, as opposed to focusing on the actual things themselves (or what you believe them to be) and allowing yourself to become terrified.

This isn't always easy, however.

 

[LanaS]

Thank you Odo

I tried to accpet these thoughts,not ****izing them too much, and I feel much better.
Before that I wanted to commit suicide because fear was so strong that I thought I will go crazy,or scream.

I'm now good, I'm just little obsessive that those thoughts will start again.

 

[Flanscho]

I think that we are defined by the structure of our brain. That depends to some degree on genetics (what is the structure of our brain in the genetic code), as well as on all information we picked up during our lifetime and how our brain processed it.

I don't think there is a deeper "me", some sort of soul or energy or being as such. The conscience I have is simply the result of what I mentioned above. The question "why am I here" doesn't make much sense to me, since the current "I" is always the one and only outcome of my life paired with my genetic heritage. With every second, the structure of my brain slightly changes, and so with every second, I'm also a slightly different person.

 

[hoddesdon]

Well, the universe is constructed in a sustainable way, and on this planet there is everything that we need such as energy (from the sun), oxygen, water etc. so that suggests that God is benign.

 

[LanaS]

hoddesdon, thank you
I was in depression before 1 month,I found solace in God,but after watching too much youtube videos about it, then I started being obsessive over existentialism, so I freaked out.Because I can not imagine God or universe,infinite etc.

And then one man on one forum said that he is scared how maybe God is sadist,and he is scared when he die, his mind will be in pain and will be lost forever in infintie and noone will be able to help him,he will be alone.
After I read that post ,I was in big fear, like "what if that's really true? " . I regret that I ever read that post :-(

 

[Bo592]

I find it better to thank about what heaven look like instead of God. Thank about what your own personal heaven will look like.

 

[LanaS]

I hope I will overcome that fear

 

[neardeath]

I watched a documentary called "Moment of Death" and the people that have near-death experiences are not afraid of dying afterwards.

 

[laure15]

Last few days I was thinking too much about universe,stars,about why we are here,and how we are so small compared to big and infinite universe etc ,about God and how he looks like? It's so terryfing that I can not explain. I freak out when I think about it. When I didn't have anxiety, I never feared these questions.

Hi Lana and welcome to the forum. I also believe in a God/Creator. The Creator is the Unmanifested, which is in contrast to humans, animals, and plants which are manifested forms of life. So I try not to put a face to God or imagine what God might look like because it would restrict my ability to comprehend God. I also try not to fear God because I believe God is benevolent and all-loving and therefore, loves His creation. I view my relationship with God as that of a child with a loving parent.

 

[LanaS]

Hi Laura,thank you alot,it means alot to me some support. I agree with you,I know many people don't fear God. I fear because I think too deep about him and all this world,so I wish I'm in peace like real believers, but I'm afraid of God,because I think how we are forever in his mercy and I feel like we are in control. It realy freaks me out,even when I know he is good,but still I feel scared because he is too powerful and we are so small . I hope to find peace.

I want to know do real believers also think deep like me about God and are not scared?

 

[Zod]

You are the universe. Well, a manifestation of it i the form of a physical body. To me, God is the conciousness in which everything occurs, so God is in everything. But I dont view it as a humanlike creator figure, rather as an energyfield. Meditation allows you to connect to that pure life, which is free of the mind (conditioning, ego, worrying, the me-identity, etc)

 

[nicole1]

I've been going through the same thing recently. I try to find something to ground my thoughts on the here and now, because if I keep letting my mind wander, I'd likely never sleep again.

 

[Flanscho]

I guess, sometimes it's quite relaxing to be an Atheist... No fear to be ever hurt by some omnipotent being. No fear of going to hell, or being reincarnated into something unpleasant, or that anything bad happens after death. Knowing that there is no deity or some sort of fate or whatever meddling with your life.

 

[xylo]

Hi Lana,

I've struggled with these questions a lot too, but I think it's normal to do so. The universe is so big, and we are so small and limited. Plus we have to deal with the realities of death and pain. These are incredibly difficult things to deal with, if we're honest about facing them, so I think it's natural to feel scared.

But here's some things that have helped me. Maybe they might help you too.

Firstly, if in doubt, it's better to err on the side of positivity than negativity. If you don't know for sure whether the nature of the universe/God is bad then why assume so? There's just as much reason to believe the nature of the universe/God is good. In fact, personally, I believe there's WAY more reason to believe the latter. When I look at the beauty in nature, or listen to music, or see the love and kindness in people, it gives me confidence that we're in safe hands.

Secondly, I often find that my existential worries lessen when I take care of myself. When I make sure I'm getting a good nights sleep, plenty of exercise, and eating healthily, plus keeping my life in order, I often find the existential thoughts don't seem to bother me so much anymore.

Thirdly, the truth is out there. Don't give up on your search. I'm a firm believer that there are things that we can know for sure about the universe. If we keep searching, and use logic and science, we can find the answers we seek.

Lastly, my personal beliefs on the whole thing is that, while I think it's appropriate to feel awe and fear in response to this huge universe and this complicated existence we find ourselves in, I also believe in God and in my heart I know God is good. I don't have time to explain all my reasons for this right now, but I just know that God is good in my heart and I suspect deep down inside everybody knows it too. I hope you can find the same comfort in your own heart.