Yup, thought I'd start one of these too - to keep the trend going and to perhaps be of help to others who suffer from SA by telling of my fight against it and how I go about it. Hope it helps or it at least is entertaining . So bear with me:
Listening to Chopin Nocturne 20 - great song. I miss this place... why? Is it the "online connections" that I have made with people here? Is it because I have nothing better to do (can't be that, I got stuff to do) Or is it just for the escape? I think it's the "connections"... you guys are smart, caring, intelligent and understand me and what I'm going through - you also teach me a lot (and I love learning).
Hmm, doing better with my social anxiety.... it's weird. SA is so deeply rooted in us.... it's like trying to pull out an oak tree with your bare hands... you might work out to gain strength, you might learn the perfect technique to rooting out a tree and you might even get help with pulling it out - but in the end, it's still hard as hell to pull out... this is social anxiety - a deeply rooted set of misconceptions and unrealistic believes created by traumatizing events. We are freaked out - is the best way that I can put it... so even if we know that our social fears are silly, feel confident enough about ourselves, and know otherwise the opposite of every one of our negative believes - we automatically react "freaked out". Why? Is it the "neurological plasticity" that molded our brains into this "automatic freak out" shape? Why is it so hard to change (remold)? Are we really such primitive sad creatures that we cannot change our perception of something once we know that our current perception is wrong? Do we really have to keep thinking it and repeating it over and over just to reshape it? Bah
If you want, you can always get a "bulldozer" to help you pull the "Social Anxiety Oak Tree" out - medication... and that's all it is a "tool" to make the "battle" with social anxiety easier... it's not a solution (though it may be for some if their SA isn't as 'bad')... and it is not "immoral" or a "cheat" - it is using our intelligence to build a tool to help make things easier for us, this is why I don't see medication as something "evil" or "uneccessary" (though uncessesary it may be - one can still pull out that tree, it'll just take longer and be harder). If you get my analogy
When I realize that almost no one judges me and live by this realization I am social anxiety free... but this happens a couple times a week and only for a minute at most... when I do get to that "feeling" I get scared and think that I don't deserve it (it feels great) and I go back to feeling nervous.
I'm just bummed out that SA can be so hard to overcome *cries*. How I wish it was easier...............................
I know that:
Almost no one judges me
Those that do, I do not care about
I am good enough
I am deserving
So on and so forth....
Yet:
Sometimes I feel like everyone is judging me (you know that feeling - panic attacks . but no one is juding us, we only imagine it. And this I know yet I cannot accept it.
It's like SA forces me to care about those that do judge me...
Sometimes I think I am not good enough (thank you SA)
So on and so forth....
Listening to Chopin Nocturne 20 - great song. I miss this place... why? Is it the "online connections" that I have made with people here? Is it because I have nothing better to do (can't be that, I got stuff to do) Or is it just for the escape? I think it's the "connections"... you guys are smart, caring, intelligent and understand me and what I'm going through - you also teach me a lot (and I love learning).
Hmm, doing better with my social anxiety.... it's weird. SA is so deeply rooted in us.... it's like trying to pull out an oak tree with your bare hands... you might work out to gain strength, you might learn the perfect technique to rooting out a tree and you might even get help with pulling it out - but in the end, it's still hard as hell to pull out... this is social anxiety - a deeply rooted set of misconceptions and unrealistic believes created by traumatizing events. We are freaked out - is the best way that I can put it... so even if we know that our social fears are silly, feel confident enough about ourselves, and know otherwise the opposite of every one of our negative believes - we automatically react "freaked out". Why? Is it the "neurological plasticity" that molded our brains into this "automatic freak out" shape? Why is it so hard to change (remold)? Are we really such primitive sad creatures that we cannot change our perception of something once we know that our current perception is wrong? Do we really have to keep thinking it and repeating it over and over just to reshape it? Bah
If you want, you can always get a "bulldozer" to help you pull the "Social Anxiety Oak Tree" out - medication... and that's all it is a "tool" to make the "battle" with social anxiety easier... it's not a solution (though it may be for some if their SA isn't as 'bad')... and it is not "immoral" or a "cheat" - it is using our intelligence to build a tool to help make things easier for us, this is why I don't see medication as something "evil" or "uneccessary" (though uncessesary it may be - one can still pull out that tree, it'll just take longer and be harder). If you get my analogy
When I realize that almost no one judges me and live by this realization I am social anxiety free... but this happens a couple times a week and only for a minute at most... when I do get to that "feeling" I get scared and think that I don't deserve it (it feels great) and I go back to feeling nervous.
I'm just bummed out that SA can be so hard to overcome *cries*. How I wish it was easier...............................
I know that:
Almost no one judges me
Those that do, I do not care about
I am good enough
I am deserving
So on and so forth....
Yet:
Sometimes I feel like everyone is judging me (you know that feeling - panic attacks . but no one is juding us, we only imagine it. And this I know yet I cannot accept it.
It's like SA forces me to care about those that do judge me...
Sometimes I think I am not good enough (thank you SA)
So on and so forth....