princess_haru
Well-known member
Does anyone else hate it when they open up to someone about their fears, only to be told not to worry? It's not as if worrying is something we choose to do! I don't wake up in the morning and think "when I've had my breakfast, I think I'll work myself into a panic over what social difficulties the day will bring. Oh, and after lunch I suppose I'll think about all the things that went wrong in the morning and mentally beat myself up over it!"
I've got five days work through an agency in a department store this week, starting tomorrow and finishing on Sunday. The only other time I've done shop work it was terrifying and I couldn't deal with it - that was six years ago and I'd hoped never to have to do shop work again, but my rent is overdue so I can't turn this down. My mum rang this afternoon and I told her about the work, then admitted I was scared about my first day tomorrow. She just kept saying "stop worrying!" and "at least it's work - you need the money!" I know I need the money and I wasn't grumbing about having some work - I was just looking for a little reassurance and needed to talk, but she didn't get it.
My boyfriend's always telling me not to worry too. If I had a magic button on the back of my head to turn my fears and worries off then I'd bloody well use it, but I don't! It drives me crazy when people think telling someone to stop worrying will make them say "oh, silly old me, why didn't I think of that?!" I'm perfectly well aware that worrying doesn't help me and actually makes things worse by sending me off into a panic, but fear isn't voluntary. People don't choose to be afraid of things; fear is sometimes irrational.
Maybe I should copy this out and keep it on me to show to people who tell me to just stop worrying:
I still don't think they'd get it though. I'm glad I have SPW to come to, where people actually understand!
I've got five days work through an agency in a department store this week, starting tomorrow and finishing on Sunday. The only other time I've done shop work it was terrifying and I couldn't deal with it - that was six years ago and I'd hoped never to have to do shop work again, but my rent is overdue so I can't turn this down. My mum rang this afternoon and I told her about the work, then admitted I was scared about my first day tomorrow. She just kept saying "stop worrying!" and "at least it's work - you need the money!" I know I need the money and I wasn't grumbing about having some work - I was just looking for a little reassurance and needed to talk, but she didn't get it.
My boyfriend's always telling me not to worry too. If I had a magic button on the back of my head to turn my fears and worries off then I'd bloody well use it, but I don't! It drives me crazy when people think telling someone to stop worrying will make them say "oh, silly old me, why didn't I think of that?!" I'm perfectly well aware that worrying doesn't help me and actually makes things worse by sending me off into a panic, but fear isn't voluntary. People don't choose to be afraid of things; fear is sometimes irrational.
Maybe I should copy this out and keep it on me to show to people who tell me to just stop worrying:
Wikipedia said:A phobia (from the Greek: φόβος, phóbos, "fear"), or morbid fear, is an irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject. When the fear is beyond one's control, or if the fear is interfering with daily life, then a diagnosis under one of the anxiety disorders can be made.
I still don't think they'd get it though. I'm glad I have SPW to come to, where people actually understand!